Staying In Love From A Boy's Point Of View
by SasuNaru Fangirl Seme
Summary: Sequel to 'Falling in love from a boy's point of view' Rated for later chapters, but nothing yet. Contains: SasuNaru, Onesided SaiNaru and OroSasu. Storng friendship NaruSaku.
1. Prologue Sasuke's Problem

Woo-Hoo! Here comes part two! The rating shouldn't be scarring anyone yet...

Staying In Love From A Boy's Point Of View! -Title thanks to EdSpikeSesshyGirl

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Prologue:

He was the only thing I couldn't forget.

It was driving me insane.

I had managed to erase my bond and relation to Sakura, and expel her from my mind. Even that wasn't easy. You can't just forget people important to you at the drop of the hat. I had done the same for Kakashi, and any other connection I may have had.

I had erased everything from my mind and heart but revenge,

And Naruto.

Sweet, beautiful, happy Naruto.

If Sakura was hard, this seemed impossible.

I had come close to forgetting him completely so many times. I would simply not think about that amazing boy. Concentrate hard on other things.

But some night after training my body to the point of not being able to walk, I would involuntarily see his face I my head, and the streak would break.

It had been two and a half years now, so I could only imagine the old Naruto. I hope he hadn't changed to much.

Golden blonde hair, sapphire orbs, a round, cute face, whiskered cheeks, and a smile to have grumpy old men Aw-ing. Short and small built. In other words,

He was perfect.

But that's the problem.

I love him, but I can't. The most important thing to me is revenge on Itachi, and being in love with him at the same time makes it horrible.

I can't deny that Itachi is more important. But if I want to make his death happen, I must forget everything else.

I have to forget about him, period.

And yet, I don't want to.

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I guess for reviews...suggestions? Anything you would like to see happen, I'll consider.


	2. Home

I'm trying to increase the relationship between Naruto and Sakura for good reason. It makes it all the more dramatic later on!

* * *

"He's not so bad." Sakura inquired.

"Are you KIDDING me?"

I had gone two and a half years without him and survived. But had I not had Sakura, Kakashi, and the support from anyone else that I got, I might not have been able to live.

I realized how much of a part of my life he was, even when we hated each other.

Sakura and I were heading home, preparing to go on a mission. We were supposed to find out about a spy's rendezvous.

"Naruto, you'll just have to accept him. He's a member of our team now, and…" Sakura began in a lecturing tone.

"I can't accept him!" I growled back. "And he'll never, EVER replace him!"

The past two and a half years had been hell.

Only two months after Sasuke's departure, I left the village for the rest of that two and a half years. But not like he had. I went with Jiriya to train. Reluctantly.

Jiriya had told me only the day after Sasuke's departure, that the Akatsuki were planning to come for me again. In three years. They wanted me to have developed more.

I had protested that I didn't care. My goal was to go after Sasuke before Orochimaru could use his body.

Jiriya told me that Orochimaru had selected a new body before Sasuke could arrive there. He could not perform the body transfer for another three years.

So reluctantly, I went to train with him. The training was to prepare me for Akatsuki, and catch up to Sasuke.

That was when I nearly hit the breaking point.

Without Sakura, I had came close to snapping many times. I had drawn out Kyubbi in my anger, and battled Jiriya. I nearly killed him. I had gotten the third tail.

My sadness had gotten to me as well at times, but not as much as the anger.

I returned to Sakura, ready to go after Sasuke again.

While I was gone, she had been trained as a medic ninja by Grandma Tsunade. She was nearly as good as Tsunade herself. She also had the brute physical strength now. Tsunade had trained her in both areas.

Sakura was happy.

She hadn't been hit as hard by Sasuke's departure as I thought. She wasn't constantly depressed, and wasn't constantly faking every smile.

Like I was.

After a mission to rescue Gaara, (Newly appointed the KazeKage,) when he had been kidnapped by the now in motion Akatsuki, we were set off in place of a spy.

Sasori, one of the members after Gaara's demon, had been killed by Sakura on the mission. His last words were explaining that he was supposed to report back to someone he was spying for. He didn't tell us who, but he said it would give Konoha more information on Orochimaru. He said that we meet them on the outskirts of Konoha in three days.

A day has passed since then, and here we are.

"You know…Naruto," Sakura began.

"What?" I snapped, still in a foul mood.

"He sure looks a lot like him."

I scoffed. "Not nearly as good! He's way better than that disgusting freak!"

Tsunade suggested that we take a replacement for Sasuke. Kakashi too, who had been injured badly on the previous mission.

Kakashi's replacement was an awesome, calm Jounin named Yamato. He was creepy. Really creepy. But other than that, he was just neutral in my mind.

"Did you hear the things he said?" I continued to argue with her.

"Yeah," She replied, seeing my point. "He's a jerk."

"A vulgar jerk," I added.

"Because you aren't." Sakura replied sarcastically, but with a smile. "Swearing is considered vulgar, though I admit you have cut down."

"HEY! At least I don't talk about penises like they're food, or fashion or weapons or…whatever!"

Sasuke's replacement couldn't have been worse. He had called Sakura and I horrible things, he constantly talked about male genitalia, and the worst part was his smile.

It was like he found the things he did amusing. He either had his eyes closed with a sickening smile, or a menacing, otherwise blank look. No other emotions.

"That's true." Sakura muttered. "But we need his help. This could be vital in finding Sasuke."

I nearly stopped walking, but covered it with a fake stumble.

"Oh, sorry." She nearly whispered.

No one had said his name out loud since he left. In context, we always knew who 'he' was.

"No, it's fine." I shook my head. "I'm just not use to it. It doesn't bother me." Much.

Our walking got considerably slower, and we stayed silent for a few moments.

"When we get back," Sakura said suddenly, perky. "We can get ramen or something! I'll buy!"

I knew she was trying, so I couldn't blame her. Actually, I was thankful for her. It just wasn't working very well.

"Thanks." I managed.

She stopped moving, so I stopped too. She stayed put for a moment, then reached up and grabbed both of my hands with her own.

I was three or four inches taller then her now, and we had both gone through a major growthspurt. She kept her hair cut short, and mine was the same, if not a little longer. Both of our faces had lost their roundness, and we both changed in body shape. She got curvier, and I got a better build, though I was still small compared to all of the male Genin in my class.

"I know how important this is." She said. "How important he is. I'll do everything I can…To bring him back. For both of us."

I squeezed her hands and smiled. "You're the best, Sakura."

I didn't have to wait for her to be out of sight to go home. She knew.

As soon as I got back from training with Jiriya, that was the first thing I did. Went home. Where I believed was home, anyway. Sasuke's mansion. I still slept there, and cleaned when I had the time. Like it was more hope for me.

I was both depressed and obsessed.

The pillows still smell like him. I can't bring myself to wash the covers.

We got packed, and an hour later were heading out to the spy's rendezvous.

I don't know where Sakura stands in the field of love. Whether Sasuke is still there, or someone else.

I still know where I stand.


	3. Emotion

Eek! Sorry for the late update! Happy Summer Break! This story will probably always update slower than the last one . Sorry! M-ish? In this chapter? Mah, I don't think so...

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"Get out." I demanded.

Every room in this place was poorly lit. It was always pitch black with a candle or two. The hallways were better, but if your eyes couldn't adjust, you'd be lost in your own room.

I knew he was coming before he even entered my room. I didn't need to see him.

"Not until you listen to me," Kabuto replied, shaking his head.

We had gone through this god only knows how many times. Kabuto had no right to tell me what to do, and yet he still did. The funny part was he was always wrong in his orders, too.

"I don't have to listen to a word you say. Out. Now."

"Orochimaru will be disappointed." He sounded just slightly sarcastic.

"Orochimaru isn't here. It's one in the morning."

"But he still ordered that you go." Kabuto concluded.

I might have sighed, had I not learned to keep an emotionless face and personality.

We both knew he was lying about it. He claimed Orochimaru wanted me to go places a lot, but it was only to, 'get me in trouble.' That was a good way of putting it since it was so childish.

It was because he was jealous. I was Orochimaru's favorite, and his future body, though neither of these things fazed me. Kabuto had a thing for Orochimaru, Orochimaru had a thing for me, and I had a thing for,

I growled out loud and brought my hand to my forehead. The mental image of Naruto's face was now stuck.

I heard Kabuto laugh. "I know that look," He began. "What's the matter? Were you thinking about Blondie before I got here?"

I glared momentarily, then hissed, "I'll go to the damn training grounds. Shut up and leave."

He smirked, shook his head, and walked out.

He loved to use that weakness against me. He knew about my feelings the day I reached here, two years and some months ago.

I closed my eyes, sat back on my bed, and tried to will the thoughts of Naruto from my head.

"_Why did you do that?"_

"Do what?"

"Save me, stupid."

"_I didn't want to see you get hurt. You're precious to me."_

I sat there for a few minutes longer, and finally it had gone away.

By now, I assumed he had given up. It had been so long now, I knew he wouldn't couldn't after me. It sometimes nagged in the back of my mind, but I was mostly assured he wouldn't come. That was exactly what I wanted.

I wanted him to stay away.

I wanted to forget him, but I wanted him to forget me, as well. I wanted him to settle down with Sakura, or Hinata. Just anyone good for him. Someone who wouldn't hurt him, like I had.

It was so unfair for me to tell him.

"_I never should have told you my feelings."  
_

When he was out of my head for the night, I fell asleep.

I woke up around four hours later, at 5:00 am. You couldn't really tell time without a clock, because there was no view of the outside. The entire base was underground, except for the entrance on the face of a cliff. There were four other bases, and we switched occasionally.

The reason I had come here was to gain power. The physical endurance, the skills, the ability, and the mental needs to kill my brother.

I had planed for more hardcore training today, but got something worse.

When I was heading towards our in base training room, Orochimaru was coming towards me. The place was huge, and easy to get lost in. I shamefully did get lost, a lot during the first month.

"Good morning, Sasuke." The voice he used made everything sound like he was trying to be seductive. It never worked, except on Kabuto.

I didn't answer, but I stopped walking.

"Kabuto and I are meeting a spy in the land of fire." We were currently in the land of wind, somewhere in the middle of the vast desert. We had a base here, in the land of sound, rock, and fire. "I can't train you today."

"Hn." Great. These days were the worst. When he had other business, and I was left an uneventful day. Sometimes I practiced myself, but even when I did that, it was hard not to think of…

The first few times Orochimaru did this or anything like it, I slapped at him. Now I had learned to just ignore it.

He reached down and grasped my chin with one hand.

I had gone through a huge growth spurt during puberty, and I was only a bit shorter than him. I kept my hair the same length as I always had, maybe an inch or two longer.

"We'll be back in a day or two. Then I think I need to give you more emotional training."

My eyes narrowed. He had been training me to not reveal any emotion. To not even think emotion in my own head. To think only of life processes and what was in front of me or in the future. No memories of the past.

"Why?" I replied.

He squeezed my chin a bit tighter. "Kabuto tells me your still thinking about that boy," He paused. "Naruto."

I cringed, then realized the mistake and tried to rearrange my face. Thoughts of the boy filled my head.

"See?" He muttered. "That won't do for either of us."

My face was still distorted, an attempt at trying to be emotionless. Damn you, Kabuto.

"Definitely more training." He said it softer, and my emotionless face attempts became even more futile when he ran a finger down my neck. Then he abruptly let go.

"Don't get any ideas while I'm gone." He called as he walked past me.

I waited until I couldn't hear his footsteps. Then I waited until his chakra was out of range. Then I waited more. Then I covered my face with my hand, and walked towards the training hall.

I. Have. To. Forget. Him.

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Thanks for all of the support so far! :D


	4. Not a Replacement

_**PLEASE READ:**_

This was probably a dumb hope, but would anyone be willing to participate in a fan art competition for this story? I won't give out details on this unless I get at least 10 people or close :P It could be fan arts or AMVS. The prize would be a one-shot to two-shot Fanfiction of any topic or pairing you want, fully literate and written to my best ability. There would be a runner up prize as well. I'll give more details if anyone cares . For right now, Please **only tell me if you would join, don't go start drawing ;**

I skipped the part where they go to the hot springs for obvious, (hopefully,) Reasons xD

I'll be gone for a week, reply after!

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Sai, Sasuke's replacement, was horrible.

Most of our trip was utterly silent walking. Every once and awhile, someone would ask a question, or Sakura and I would chat. Sakura knew the exact location, but Yamato seemed to have other plans. He led us into thicker, darker woods that made it seem like it was night time. It was late afternoon. There was just enough light to see decently.

"Yamato, where exactly are you taking us?" Sakura asked, a few minutes after recovering from the sight of a spider.

"Somewhere to stay for the night. We'll need to plan how this meeting works out." He replied. His pace through the winding branches and bushes hadn't slowed all day.

"We have to stop for the night?" I whined, shoving a branch out of the way, and restraining from hitting Sai with it, simply out of hate. "We don't need sleep! We're supposed to be finding more information on-" I tried to argue more, but Sakura cut me off.

"I know you want to learn more about Orochimaru, so you can find out where Sasuke is," She judged my reaction before continuing. It must not have been bad. "But we could be meeting anyone. You wouldn't want to be killed on the spot."

"Why are you so worried about that traitor?" Sai asked, still sounding somewhat amused with himself.

This is the main reason I hated Sai.

I snarled back, "He's not a traitor, and you don't have a right to know!"

Sakura and Yamato sighed sadly, nearly in unison.

It continued. "Why don't I? I'm helping you. I'm his replacement." Sai retorted.

"Hardly!" I replied, not bothering to hold back the branches now. It slowed him down. "You're nothing like him! You can't call yourself a replacement!"

"You're right." Sai answered. "Leaving to serve Orochimaru, betraying Konoha, I wouldn't want to be anything like that gutless little homo."

_Let him have it. _Kyubbi growled.

I stopped dead in my tracks, and I saw Sakura stop too.

"Why you-!" I spun around to punch him, and he made no defense.

I was about to give him what he deserved, but Sakura looped her arms around my shoulders from behind, holding me there. I didn't fight back much, but she wasn't weak little Sakura anymore, either.

"Naruto, forgive him. Sai, take it back." She said calmly, trying to make a temporary peace.

Sai smiled that creepy smile. "Sure, I take it back."

I didn't do anything, just continued to fume in Sakura's arm lock. Yamato must have been annoyed.

"Naruto." She ordered.

"Fine. I forgive you, asshole."

She let me go, then glared at Sai.

She punched him, instead. Hard. Hard enough to send him to the ground.

I backed up a step.

"He may forgive you, but I don't! Don't ever judge Sasuke, you never knew him!"

Sai rubbed the side of his face, hesitantly standing back up. He wasn't grinning anymore. "Faking your emotions really works, doesn't it?

"I'll take you all back to Konoha if you don't stop behaving like children!" Yamato yelled over everything, causing us all to turn and bow our heads.

_Kit, After everyone falls asleep for the night, use me, and make that penis obsessed freak feel the wrath!  
_

_I'm seriously considering it._

_Good. _

_  
_Maybe a half an hour later of awkward silence and slow walking, we reached an empty clearing in the middle of the woods. It must have been a man made clearing, it was unnatural to have a break in this thick of woods.

"This is it." Yamato said, motioning around us.

"Sorry Sensei, but there's nothing here, and we didn't bring any-" She would probably have gone on to say we didn't have any sleeping mats, and that he told us not to worry about it.

"I know. One moment." He stepped to the edge of the clearing, and lifted his arms.

Sakura and I stared in awe, Sai not as much, as our replacement Sensei literally grew a place for the night. Not just any place, a small yet two story wooden shelter. He made the wood come out of the ground.

"We'll stay here." He concluded, ignoring our shock behind him. He started towards it.

"Er, right." Sakura muttered, following him.

I followed behind her, and Sai followed behind me.

_Still considering it, kit?_

I'll give him one more strike.

_Hmph._

_Honestly Kyubbi, why would you care about Sasuke?_

It's not the Uchiha, it's the fact that grinning boy is pissing off you, which annoys me, which is not okay.

_I don't annoy you?_

_You have your moments, brat._

_Right._

The wood house was empty inside, but spacious. The entire top 'floor' was one room with a window on the back wall. There would be enough room for us all to sleep comfortably on the floor, but we still lacked some sort of sleeping mat or bag.

We left our backpacks on the top floor.

"How'd he do that?" I mumbled, barely coherent.

"The second Hokage could control the wood element. I didn't think it was possible for anyone else." Sakura answered. "It must just be rare."

The downstairs was just as big, but split into two rooms, one nearest the entryway and one further back. In the center of the first room, there was a lamp, lit. While we had gone upstairs, Yamato had sat near it.

"Sit down, everyone. Planning time." He ordered.

Everyone did as told, Sakura kneeling across from him on the opposite side of the lamp, and Sai and I on either side of her.

"Sasori, one of the Akatsuki members was the one who gave you the information, correct Sakura?" Yamato began.

"Right."

"I assume you knew we couldn't just show up there. They expect Sasori. Which is what we'll have to give them."

I started, "But, Sakura killed Sasori. We can't get him to-"

"We'll make a new Sasori. I'll transform into him. But you'll have to tell me everything you know about him. The way he acts…looks…" He trailed off.

"I can do that!" Sakura answered with a head bob.

Yamato looked around at the three of us, eyes lingering on me the longest. Then he said suddenly, "Explain upstairs."

"But we're all already down here." I said, shaking my head. "Why do we have to go upstairs?"

"Sakura and I will. I want you two to stay down here and get over your childish hate for one another."

I felt my mouth drop, and I tried to shut it so I could protest. Strike. Anything. Something so I didn't have to be alone with-

"I don't hate him. I like him. He just hates me." Sai murmured. "Either way."

_Does this count as a strike?_

Maybe.

"Whatever! You can say what you want, but I'll never stop hating you after what you said!" I growled, remembering how he insulted Sasuke.

I guess the double meanings in his insult didn't make sense to him, but they did to me.

"My point." Yamato sighed. "Well, you heard me. Come on Sakura."

"Coming," Sakura answered, getting up to follow him.

"No!" I reached over and grabbed her ankle, nearly hitting the lamp. "You can't leave me alone with him!"

She could have tripped, but shook her ankle free and glared. "Naruto, don't be a baby. You might like Sai if you knew him better."

"Sure…" I said under my breath, sarcastically.

It wasn't that I couldn't handle being alone with him, I could take care of myself. But if I proceeded to "Take care of myself" He might piss me off to the point of me inflicting pain on him. Then I could kiss my chances of bringing Sasuke home goodbye.

Or it could just be that I hated him to the fiery pits of hell and back.

"Don't kill each other, bond." Sakura muttered, walking away from the desperate me, following Yamato.

I dropped my grasp and slumped to the ground, turning to glare at Sai.

He was still grinning.


	5. Happiness

This chapter has no dialogue, it's just Sasuke's private thoughts. The dream has an incredibly deeper meaning to it.

And yeah, I got one taker for the fan art thing. Dumb hope :D

* * *

Something was seriously wrong.

I had thought about Naruto a lot, but I had never had dreams about him. Never had fantasies about him. Hell, since I had been here, I rarely ever had dreams unless they involved Itachi's slaughter.

But the night Orochimaru left, I had a dream with him in it. Not just him, either. Sakura was there too.

There were two Narutos.

That was vaguely it. The happenings of the dream slipped away when I woke up. But those details were enough to drive me insane all day.

Naruto was taking over my mind.

The opposite of what I wanted began to happen. I started to miss him.

I always felt guilty about what I had done. I loved him, and I told him so. He felt the same, but doing this to him only made my leaving worse. The only upside was it made my hate and desire for death on Itachi stronger.

Itachi wanted to capture Naruto and extract him. Who knows what else he wanted to do. I was pitying my self more than I was Naruto in thinking so, but I always felt responsible for him. I thought that maybe if I hadn't been there, Itachi wouldn't have been able to find him. It mostly wasn't true, but I needed some solace for knowing that I left was a good thing. I could distract Itachi, and by killing him keep Naruto safe.

While the revenge on my family was for my sake, everything lead back to Naruto.

I decided since this was partially for Naruto's benefit, I wouldn't forget him at all. It seemed too impossible anyway. But I would think only of Naruto and Itachi. No one else.

But the sad truth, Naruto would probably never feel the same way again. I tried to kill him. I left him for this. Even if he didn't hate me, the level of intimacy and love we had for one another would never repair. Mine never broke, but I knew his did.

Not to mention, I had betrayed Konoha. I could never go back with out the punishments. Even if the sentence wasn't death, associating with Naruto would be out of the question. Naruto still had a connection to the village, and he had hopes of leading it.

I wanted to see him do it.

Most of the time while Orochimaru was gone, I took care of the slaves and trained. The only thing I could really do on my own was practice my accuracy, but I wasn't sure how much better that could get.

I tried to stop thinking about Naruto temporarily, and increased my thoughts of Itachi. My hate for Itachi, my desire to murder him.

It only lasted about an hour. While killing Itachi was my number one feat, so long as he wasn't here and I wasn't on my way to find him, there was no sense in thinking about something when I wanted to think something else.

About my Naruto.

I had assured myself it had been so long, that he must not have been coming after me. But I began to wonder. I had heard rumors about my brother's organization going after Naruto in three years. Orochimaru couldn't use my body for three years.

It was just a coincidence, I hoped, but it nagged in the back of my mind. It had been two and a half years, had he been planning?

Even if he had, he never would find this place, or me. He had no chance.

I hoped.

Something else was nagging at my brain as well.

I had told my self I wanted Naruto to be happy. To have anyone but me. I thought immediately Sakura would take my place in his heart. That would have left me content. Not happy, but content for his sake.

But then I wondered, what if it was someone worse than me? Someone who would take advantage of him?

While it wasn't my right, I knew deep down I would be possessive if I ever knew them. If I somehow over passed the death sentence, and lived in his world, but against someone else. I would be jealous. It would hurt, though in the end it would be my fault. Then I would have no right to him. No right to be jealous, or to fight with the other.

The chances of him still having his feelings for me were slim to none, but I had some sad hope that I would always be the only one, even if it meant we could never be with each other.

Then there was Sakura to consider.

It wasn't like I hated her. She was my comrade, and she and Naruto had been my only friends in life. I would have fought and killed for her. I just didn't have the same feelings for her as I did for Naruto. She had them for me, though, and it had been quite a triangle.

I wondered if now there was no hope, because she was trying to make him hate me. So she could end up with him, the second best.

Though it had been two years, and Sakura may have matured into acceptance. Maybe she was helping him. Encouraging him.

Maybe she would be the only thing keeping his feelings for me alive. Sakura was either the glue or the pliers, the love or the hate. I didn't know.

It made me somewhat angry with myself to be considering such things, but I started to realize that even if I had a goal, I could still think about Naruto and Sakura.

While I wanted to kill my brother, I also lived, breathe, ate, and fought to keep myself alive.

Naruto and Sakura, especially Naruto, had been so much of my life beforehand, they were like living and breathing to me. That wasn't so bad.

When Itachi was dead, maybe Konoha would have seen me as a help in betrayal, and would have let me off easy. Maybe Naruto would have found no one else, and maybe Sakura would just be the same as always. Our loveable yet annoying female friend. Then everything would be normal. The way I wanted it in the end.

But that was part of the final thing pulling at my mind. Somewhere deep down I knew, things could never be that perfect. I wasn't good enough for that, but he was. Maybe it was just me that would be out of the picture.

I had chosen my own path, and I would soon learn what fate was at the end of it.

Too soon would I end any chance of happiness. But it wasn't my happiness I would kill.

Thoughts, anyone?


	6. Freak

I'm sorry if this chapter disturbs you.Truly sorry. It was all my friends idea…Sai is a creep. Seriously.

Bold- Dream Still

* * *

"You what?" I shook my head back and forth. I had heard it, but I wasn't sure why I had asked. It was either because I didn't understand or because I didn't believe it.

"I said, I like you." Sai repeated. He wasn't grinning at the moment.

"Yeah, I got that. But I hate you. If you like me, be nicer." I answered, glaring.

He grinned again. "I guess you don't get it."

"Get what?"

"I don't know what feelings are, but you're really cute. I like you." He said again, with added information.

I sat on the hardwood floor for a few more seconds, stared dumbly at him, blinked twice, then it clicked.

I jumped up to my feet, nearly stumbling over. I screamed, "Y-you what!?"

"Are you deaf?" Sai asked, looking up at me.

"N-No! But you said-" I began, my temper flaring by the second.

"I said your cute. Maybe even hot. So, can I see it?" He started to stand up.

I flew back about 5 feet, only a short ways from the wall of the room. I didn't have to ask what 'it' was. I mean, it was Sai. "Freak! NO! Get the hell out!"

_Is it a strike now, Kit?_

Of course it is!

"You aren't scared, are you?" Sai asked, coming steps closer. Every step he took forward, I took back. I knew it was all too cliché. I would eventually hit the wall.

"Get away!" I snarled, feeling Kyubbi try to help me.

_Not now, Kyubbi._

_  
Why not?_

You'll burn the house down. It's wood.

_Fine, but if he comes any closer…_

"Why?" Sai asked, still moving towards me.

I did hit the wall. I was about ready to screw the wood house and kill this guy. He got about a foot away, and I didn't realize what had happened until it was over.

In a blur of red, black and pink, Sakura rushed behind him and punched him on the top of the head. This sent him to the ground. She must have been coming down, and had seen what was going on.

"You unconscious yet, freak?" Sakura growled, staring down at him.

"No…" He muttered, rubbing his head and crawling to his feet.

I had moved in front of Sakura the moment he hit the ground. I glared down at him, and heard Yamato behind us.

"What did you do?" He sounded annoyed, like he didn't know who to blame.

"Yamato…" Sakura muttered. She walked beside him and whispered something. Even when she was finished, it took him a few moments to answer. Like he was thinking of what to say. He over looked what I knew she had told him.

"All of you, pay attention." Yamato ordered. We turned our heads, and Sai shakily got back to standing.

"I'll transform into Sasori, and meet whoever is at the rendezvous. You three will be in hiding. You are only to come out if I signal you to. We must be very careful, it could be anyone." He mentioned that a lot. He said anyone like he knew exactly who it was already.

We all nodded, and I looked over at Sai. He was already watching me when I turned. I immediately looked away.

"You're mistaken if you think I'm done." Sai said so only I could hear.

I didn't answer.

Yamato ordered us all to sleep after that. I found it hard to fall asleep. When I finally did, it was one of those horrible sleeps where I half woke up every few minutes to toss or turn.

**I had grown use to seeing Sasuke in my dreams, yet seeing him tonight made me have a bad feeling. The dream started like they usually did. I could just see Sasuke, the way I knew him from two and a half years ago. The good Sasuke. The true Sasuke behind all of the revenge, hate, and darkness.**

**At first it was just pitch black, and all I could see was him. Then the shadowy background changed. I was suddenly in his room.**

**But I didn't see just Sasuke this time. I saw us sitting across from each other on his bed. I saw the younger version of myself. We were arguing about something, I couldn't catch it. Then he smirked and we both laughed.**

**Something was wrong. I was over here, and yet he was still talking to me over there. There was only one me.**

**  
"I'm over here." I said loudly, trying to make them hear. They didn't even flinch.**

**I moved forward, and they looked. They seemed to look right through me.**

**  
"Sasuke! That's not me! I'm Naruto, he's not!" I said more frantically.**

**Sasuke turned back to the fake me, but he didn't seem confident anymore. He stared at the copy, and then slowly backed away.**

**Who was pretending to be me?**

"Sa-" I tried to say something, but suddenly that scene was gone. It was pitch dark again, but there was nothing for me to see.

**It felt like I was falling. My head hurt and my ears rushed. I could have been sinking in water, only slowly and harshly. Like I was too far under and the water pressure was pounding me down.**

**When the sensation went away, I could see Sasuke again. It was only a partially lit silhouette, but the hair was spiky and the eyes were sharingan. That was all I could see.**

**Then I saw the last thing I had expected.**

**I felt warm liquid hit my face in medium sized droplets, and the pitch became light so I could see where it had come from.  
**

**It was blood. Sakura's blood.  
**

I must have been squirming or making some kind of noise, because when I shot up awake, Sakura was sitting in front of me.

She stared at me wide eyed for a moment, then calmly said my name.

"Sakura…You're okay. You're okay." I said weakly.

"Of course I am," She said quietly, trying not to wake anyone. "What-" She tried to make me explain, but I started talking.

"You aren't dead." I whispered. "You died." I must have been partially asleep. My hands were shaking even as I gripped the sleeping bag underneath me. Yamato had given us all sleeping bags.

"Nothing's wrong with me, Naruto. It's okay…" I must have been worse than I thought, because she reached up slightly to grip my shoulders and rub them. "Tell me what happened."

I shivered and then said, "Sasuke was there. There were two of me. Then you…he…blood…Sakura." The last part came out choked. "I just need to sleep." I tried to say as firmly as I could.

She reached up further and placed her hand on my forehead. She wasn't approving of my temperature, I could tell by her face.

"I don't think you can. You're burning up. Let me give you something." She answered, standing up.

I nodded, and tried hard to hold myself up. When she came back, she had a water bottle and something wrapped in cloth. She sat down next to me again.

"You could get really sick, but I think you'll be fine if you take this. Tip your head back." She held up the cloth.

"I can do it." I muttered weakly.

She nodded hesitantly and gave me the cloth pouch. I tipped my head back like she said, and poured the contents down. It wasn't as fine as powder, but not as solid as pills. It was almost leafy, but if it was, the leaves were fine. They also had no taste.

Next she handed me the water bottle, and told me to drink a lot. She said something about helping the drug get all the way through my system, but I didn't pay much attention.

I handed her back the pouch and bottle when I was done. It had no taste, but it had an after sensation. It kind of burned.

"If you sleep, by morning you should be back to normal." Sakura told me, setting the materials aside.

"Thanks Sakura." I felt my eye lids drooping. My whole body wanted to go back to sleep, so I knew it wouldn't be to hard.

"Nothing bad is going to happen to me, and even if something goes wrong, don't think to much about it. Everything works out in the end."

I nodded, then laid back down attempting to sleep. She sighed, and that was the last thing I remembered.


	7. Hurt

Can any of you see what's happening to Sakura? Like, mentally?

If not, it will be explained eventually. I wanted Sakura to be a lot bigger part of the plot.

**I'm not going to switch point of views here**, just keep it at Naruto. It may be Naruto for a long time, then Sasuke for a long time, or blah…I don't know.

If you can't stand anything happening between Naruto and Sakura, skip it. It never goes farther then friendship!

* * *

The dream plagued me the next morning.

It was a dream…It's not like dreams you have when you sleep ever actually happen. They're just things your mind puts together, depending on your mood. Maybe it had just happened because I was in a bad mood.

I couldn't understand it very well, either. Their were two things I didn't get. Who was the fake me, and how did Sakura…

I shivered at the thought.

Sakura was my light. The one thing that was keeping me happy. If something like that happened to her, I don't know if I could go on.

Keeping the dream in the back of my mind, we set out for the rendezvous.

While that wasn't the last thing I remembered doing, I was missing a huge chunk of my day. I remember some things that happened, but I don't know how I got to where I am. I must have been knocked out. That's what Sakura claimed, anyway.

The first thing I remembered doing was hiding while Yamato met the spies. Then the spies turned out to be Orochimaru and Kabuto, and I flipped. I'm still pissed about it. I remember coming out of hiding,

And that's where I'm lost.

The only thing in my memory after that was waking up. I woke up to the bridge we had met them on being ripped off one side, and dangling into the pit. There was a huge crater in the landscape, at least 5 miles across. It was bare, and all plant life had perhaps been disintegrated. The spies were gone, Sai was nowhere in sight, Sakura had a wound on her arm, and I felt sick.

"What happened…to this place?" I muttered.

Yamato opened his mouth to say something, but Sakura answered first. "Orochimaru knocked you out, and we fought him, that's all!"

She didn't sound convincing at all. It reminded me of when I passed out during the Chunin exams, the only difference being she was making up excuses, not just leaving me in the dark.

"Damn, it must have been brutal! I can't believe he got away!" I decided playing along would be best. She looked upset, so pushing it might make it worse.

"I sent a clone after him. If he survives long enough, we could even find out where they're going." Yamato mentioned. "And Naruto, Sai is with them as well."

I blinked at him, then shook my head. "He went to watch the clone?"

"No…Plain English would be the best. He betrayed us."

The words came out, and I didn't even have to stop to consider them. I believed them without question, and now I had to know more. My expression and tone turned angry immediately. "I knew he was bad news! What did he do!?"

Sakura answered, she must have already known. "Yamato suspects he has a side mission, that was secretly assigned to him before we left. Apparently he's a member of the root ANBU. The undergrounds that don't work under Tsunade."

Yamato continued. "We don't have any idea what that mission could be, but we do know he somehow aligned himself with Orochimaru. Now he's with him."

I clenched my fists. "Damn him! Not only was he a disgusting little-"

I stopped talking. My head spun and my legs decided not to hold me up. I didn't understand why, or what was going on when it happened, but I collapsed headfirst. I tried to catch myself on my knees, but I fell flat when that failed.

"Naruto!" Sakura came down beside me, and flipped me over so I was face up. She held my head and shoulders up in her arms.

The dizziness faded, but it was suddenly hard to breathe. My whole body ached.

"Why am I…like this?" I managed through pants.

She just shook her head, and turned her head to Yamato. "I know we should pursue them now, but…" She began hesitantly. We both knew that only Kakashi would let something like this slip. Things like this weren't supposed to be aloud on missions.

"He has enough strength to get back to the village on his own." Yamato answered. He sounded like he meant it.

Sakura's eyes widened. She turned further around and screamed, "Kakashi wouldn't do this!"

"I know." His voice sounded softer now. "Kakashi use to be my captain. He would always laugh and swear that he'd protect us."

Sakura's eyes lowered sadly, and I looked back up at her.

"You have to start being the ones to protect, and not be protected." Yamato concluded.

She looked like she would cry, and she moved her back arm to let me go. I grabbed her wrist on the arm in front of me. She turned back surprised.

"I'm good. I feel alright. What sense would there be in turning back, now that I've gotten this far?" I grinned and squeezed her hand.

She didn't smile back. Her expression never changed as she helped me up. I knew I had missed something bad while I was "knocked out."

That and maybe a mixture of something I was missing completely.

"Alright, lets hurry. No more losing time!" Yamato ordered.

I would find out soon enough what Sakura wouldn't tell me from Yamato.

I realized before I found out, however, that Sakura didn't know. Sakura didn't know about Kyubbi. About the monster that lived sealed inside my body, the one that had tormented the village nearly sixteen years before.

I had considered this once before, and decided it would be best to never tell her. I didn't know if she would accept what I was as easily as Sasuke, and I needed her.

And if even if she could, Sakura had always seen me as me. She would probably be afraid of me.

When we were running through the thick woods of the land of fire, passing out into the border of the land of wind, I got dizzy again. Sakura noticed, but I caught myself before I could loose footing. We didn't need me to be slowing the group down.

Then it was her. She had grabbed a branch to flip up higher, and she suddenly reached down and clenched her shoulder. She started to fall. Our hands nearly connected so I could pull her up, but Yamato got her before she hit the ground.

She was suddenly in an immense amount of pain. She squeezed her arm and growled through grit teeth. Yamato set her down against a tree, and she began to explain without prompt.

"I just got wounded by Orochimaru…it's not horrible…Nnh!" She clutched at her arm and tensed.

"Sakura!" I leaned forward, but she had gone back to pants.

Yamato looked from me to her, and then back at me, and then stood up. "Being the only medic, Sakura must rest. Naruto, you come with me and plan." I didn't want to, but I did with some shooing from Sakura.

He walked out of earshot from Sakura, and then stopped. "Whoops, my clone." He reached up for his headset, and listened.

I stood patiently and waited, but it must not have been anything interesting, because he looked down. "So Yamato, what do we do now?"

"Oh, before that, you need to know what happened before you woke up earlier."

I waited. It surprised me, but I thought he must have wanted to say something from the beginning.

"The one who wounded Sakura's arm wasn't Orochimaru. It was you."

I only thought about the words, not the how or the why. I believed him straight away. I had hurt Sakura. I had done that to Sakura. Sakura, my light.

Then it came back. I remembered a time when I was out with Jiriya, and he made me mad. He was doing it on purpose to see if I would release the Kyubbi. I did, and the next thing I knew after that was Jiriya was ripped open. He said that I had reached the fourth tail stage, and lost my body. I never remembered anything when I calmed down.

"You look terrified." Yamato mentioned when I wouldn't speak.

I tried to straighten my face. "So the bridge and the crater…That was me to?"

"Yes. You don't remember because your body was being completely run by the Kyubbi. Sakura didn't understand. She kept saying that was a monster, not you." His expression got grimmer. I knew mine got worse as well. "When she finally realized that it was you, she was hysterical. She ran up to you in that form and tried to make you stop. You slashed her arm. Then when I got you out of that state, she healed the burns left on your body. She said to fool you into thinking it never happened."

_Kyubbi. I can't believe you._

_  
She got in the way. You obviously don't remember WHAT Set you off. Orochimaru kept calling Sasuke, "His."_

…

_I know._

"Sakura." I turned back so I could see her. Kyubbi's chakra was so negative, it must have left a poison. I had grown immune to it.

"She didn't want you to know, because she knew it would hurt you. She said she had never known about the monster." Yamato said softly.

I felt like I could cry. "I didn't want her to hate me like most of the others."

Yamato didn't say much else, just finished with, "You must use your own strength to get by. Do not rely on the Kyubbi for help."

Sasuke had been the only one my age who had ever found out about the Kyubbi. He had also been one of the only ones to not judge me because of it. All he saw was me.

I had to know if Sakura would see just me, too.

Yamato must have been reading my mind. "We'll head out once you've spoken to her. Don't take too long." He said sadly.

What do I say? I'm sorry I wounded your arm? Maybe I could start with I'm sorry I never told you. Or, I'm sorry I am the way I am.

She looked up before I got all the way to her. She smiled slightly. "My arm seems okay, now."

I nodded, and stopped next to her.

"Naruto, are you alright? You-" She stopped talking. I half fell to a sitting position beside her, burying my face in my hands.

"Sakura? You don't hate me do you?" I choked.

I could hear the surprised expression on her face when she spoke. "What makes you think that?" She was nearly whispering.

"Yamato told me the whole thing." I breathed. "Everything that happened. When I transformed into that." I tried to keep my voice even. I knew it couldn't be working well.

She didn't speak for awhile. I thought maybe she was afraid of me. Finally a few minutes passed, and she said, "I do the exact opposite of hate you, Naruto. But-"

I looked up slightly, and she now had a face identical to mine revealed. "But?"

"I-I was so scared. Not of you. For you. I didn't want to believe that was you…But when I did, I wanted to make you stop. I didn't know what would happen to you." Sakura shook her head as she spoke.

"I'm sorry I scared you, and I'm sorry I hurt you." I whispered.

She didn't need any more explanation of exactly what I was, or why I was. She just wanted to know that I would be alright.

"I forgive you," She leaned forward and grabbed both my hands. "Please don't do it anymore."

"I never will." I replied.

I didn't promise.


	8. Fake

* * *

The point of view at the beginning is neither Naruto nor Sasuke, but it's not too hard to guess. The point of view also switches from Naruto to Sasuke. I'm sorry if this gets confusing, but it will make sense in the end. I AM SO SORRY ABOUT SLOWNESS. I almost stopped the story, but my friends got ticked at me. xD

* * *

"You're sure this is the place?" My partner commented.

"Yes, very sure. He hasn't tried yet, so I'll have to make him a bit angrier." I replied.

"I'll stay out here, so I don't look suspicious." He said.

I didn't answer, just stood still for a moment. Then I performed the Henge hand seal, and my body got slightly smaller. I could tell my partner could see more changes than just my size.

"He'll never know the difference." He snickered.

"I'm going, Kisame."

"Have fun." He answered sarcastically.

(The Naruto switch is here.)

"You can't be serious!" I yelled in disbelief after hearing the news. We had been following a far distance behind the clone for a long time, and we had finally reached desert terrain. Sakura's arm had healed, but we were both drained. We weren't sure why they were headed this way, until now.

"I am serious. My clone followed them all the way to Orochimaru's hideout. He said the entrance is in the face of a cliff roughly five miles that way." He pointed, and when I looked, I could see the faint, dark line of the cliffs. I remembered they were part of the protective geography for the sand village, but the sand village was still way past them.

"So we're going there?" Sakura asked.

"Of course. Our original mission was to find information on him, but now that we have the chance, we may get to bring a certain missing ninja back with us." Yamato glanced at me, but I ignored him. I was determined to get there quick.

My head spun, not quite like it had earlier, but with ideas. What if Sasuke was at this particular base? What if I could see him? What if I could talk to him? What if I could beat his sorry ass into coming home?

What if he tried to kill me again?

Sakura must have been considering most of the same things. "You really think Orochimaru would take that kind of risk knowing we've seen him? Sasuke might be at another base."

"I thought that at first, too." Yamato replied. "But I have a good feeling about this."

I couldn't read Sakura's face. She almost looked like she dreaded going at all.

We reached the cliffs, but no entrance. We scaled up and down the face, but found nothing even remotely close to one.

"There has to be a secret to getting in. My clone must have seen them, and followed, but-" Yamato began.

"It's hollow!" Sakura said suddenly. She was pressed up against the side of the cliff, the particular spot having a crack from a rock cut out. "There's only about 4 inches of rock, so if we can move this, we'll get in." She motioned against the cut out. "Help me push it in."

Yamato started for her, but I shook my head. "One blast from Rasengan, and that rock's toast."

"We don't want to draw attention to ourselves." Yamato objected. I sighed, but we all three pushed on the rock. It went in just fine, but we could only barely crawl through.

The space we crawled into instantly broke off into a hallway. Looking down a ways, I could tell the place was like a maze. Their were turns, doors, and halls. The halls were poorly lit with candles hanging on the walls.

"Sasuke could be anywhere in this place." Sakura shook her head slowly.

"It's probably infested with snakes." Yamato added. "We should-"

"Point?" I asked. "We're here! Let's start looking!" I clenched my fists, and Yamato and Sakura sighed. "We can cover more space if we split up."

Yamato nodded. "You're not going to like this, Naruto…"

I blinked at him in confusion. "Hm?"

"We will be splitting up yes, but Sakura and I will be searching for Sasuke. Your job is to find Sai." He cringed as if already prepared for my scream.

"What!?" I snarled.

"Shhh." Sakura hissed back. "Naruto, you might find him on your way. It's not like you can't search." She whispered.

"Fine." I muttered, practically pouting.

I walked off to go one direction, and Sakura walked towards the other. Before I could get away, Yamato grabbed my shoulder. "You're still nearly drained and wounded from earlier. Don't use too much chakra, and by no means use that power of yours."

I swallowed and nodded. It was still slightly hard to stand, let alone use Kyubbi.

We walked off in our separate directions. When I was sure I was alone, I ran, and began slamming doors open.

(Sasuke switch)

I had memorized most of the chakra signatures in the building. Orochimaru had a few slaves at this base, so I knew theirs. I also knew his, Kabuto's, and the snakes chakra by heart.

Now there were three I could vaguely identify, but not well, and two that I didn't recognize at all. People who weren't supposed to be in the base were in the base.

I blinked my eyes into sharingan and left my room. The only thing I could hear was my own footsteps, so they must have been far away. I knew they weren't simple rogue ninja, either. They had found a way in, and I had sensed their chakra as strong.

I continued searching, though I was leisure about it. I didn't want to frighten them out, I wanted to know who they were.

I tried to consider the possibilities. They weren't simple ninja, and three of them I could slightly identify. One of these three more than the rest. But I hadn't come in contact with people or Chakra other than Orochimaru, Kabuto, and what I had thought of earlier. There had been Konoha ninja almost three years ago, but Chakra signatures weren't something I was extremely keen on then. All but…

Not Naruto.

There was absolutely no way Naruto had gotten into the base. He's in Konoha, happy with Sakura, advancing on his way to become a better ninja.

But it wasn't so easy to hope that, anymore.

(Naruto switch)

_Geez, the place is huge. You think we'll ever find either of them in here?_

_I don't know._

_Do you want to find them?  
_

_I want to beat both of them to a pulp, kit. Of course I want to find them._

_Like I'd let you._

_You're thinking about it._

_  
Only Sai, maybe._

_You want to be angry at Uchiha boy, as well._

_I guess I do a little._

…

In that moment of conversation with Kyubbi, I slammed a door open, and I stopped dead in my tracks. The room was well lit with multiple candles, and there was a table. The person inside turned to face me. He was holding a book in his hand.

"Sai!" I screeched at the top of my lungs.

He just grinned at me. "Hi Naruto, funny to find you-ulch…"

I grabbed him by his neck and squeezed, only enough to threaten, not to suffocate. "What the hell are you thinking?! I heard the whole thing, how you betrayed us to go with Orochimaru, how you might have some secret mission to-" I went on.

"I…Ha-have a secret mission." Sai choked. "Le-Let go."

I glared at him, then with one last squeeze, I let go.

"I'll tell you what I came here to do," He gasped a few times. "If you answer a question for me."

"I'll answer what ever you've got." I replied defiantly.

"Why do you care so much about that traitor Sasuke, even after he left?"

Except that. "You wouldn't understand."

I had kept that secret between Sakura, Kakashi, Iruka, Jiriya, and mistakenly Gai. I had only told people that I trusted and that I knew would accept me despite my decision.

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter whether or not I would understand. Tell me."

I decided it was worth knowing his mission. He wasn't an important person, and his opinion didn't matter to me.

"I love Sasuke." I smiled at my own words, and for a moment I knew Sai didn't get it. Then his expression took a dramatic change, and I knew he did.

"Sasuke is special to me. He's my best friend, and unlike you, I know that there's so much more to him than being a traitor. No matter what he does, I still remember him as just being someone I loved more than anyone else." I couldn't make the smile leave my face even if I wanted to. Sai just stared at me.

A few seconds passed, and Sai replied, "My mission is to kill Sasuke."

I felt my eyes widen and smile fade the moment he said it. "What?" I nearly choked on air.

"I've been ordered to do so, that way Orochimaru won't have a future body to attack Konoha with."

"You can't!" I backed up a few steps. "There's no way I'll let you do-" I stopped my own words. Sasuke had been here for two and a half years training. He must have been a super weapon by now. I didn't think Sai could touch him.

"Naruto, I won't." He said.

"Huh?" I got suspicious of his reply.

"You made me remember one of my special bonds from long ago. I think I understand why you feel that way about Sasuke. I want to help you find him. I don't want to follow that order."

"Sai-" I started to say.

"Enough. If we don't find him soon, Orochimaru will come back."

I grinned. "Sai, I can't believe you, but for the record you're still a freak."

He just shrugged, and moments later we were dashing back through the hallways.

(Sasuke switch.)

I had nearly bolted around a corner when I caught myself. I looked past it in horror at the holder of the chakra I had sensed.

No way in Hell, yet here he was.

Naruto.

Although I still felt suspicious of it for some reason.

I decided it would be best to show myself, it wasn't like I could run away. I didn't run away from things, I killed things. But Naruto?

I couldn't control all the thoughts that came into my head when I turned the corner. Naruto flicked his head to look at me.

I knew in just that instant that it wasn't Naruto. The expression was wrong and the eyes were worse. With the evidence of the eyes, I could only think of one other person.

I let my emotions show, my blank face gone in a snap. "If you thought you could fool me, you're wrong!" I growled, ripping my sword from it's sheath and dashing forward.

The Naruto imposter jumped backwards and to the side, and followed suit with a kunai. "What's wrong Sasuke, don't you recognize me?"

"You can't fool me, Itachi!"

* * *

Sasuke was quick to see the fake Naruto, but will it be so easy for Sakura or Yamato...? I will TRY to update quicker, forgive me!


	9. Bloody

Is it possible to accidentally kill someone?

Oh god, I considered not doing this, but this chapter will be bad. BAD. You've been warned. Their will be a Sakura point of view. SORRY it's short yes, but it's good enough to cut off and leave you with a cliffhanger :D

* * *

(Naruto Point of View)

"Damn it, we've been throwing open doors to empty rooms, and there's nothing!" I growled, slamming another one shut.

"The place is probably miles long. Sasuke could be farther in." Sai replied, opening a door with nothing. "He could also know we're here, and keep moving."

"Because he doesn't want us to find him." I muttered.

"Why did he come to Orochimaru in the first place?" Sai offered.

I took a deep breath and said, "Orochimaru promised him power. More than anything in the world, he wants to take revenge on his older brother. He slaughtered their family and clan. But his brother's so powerful, Sasuke couldn't even begin to fight him. He left for power, in exchange for his body, in the future." The thought of Orochimaru using Sasuke's body pissed me off to no end.

"He must be bent on that revenge, then." Sai shook his head, failing with yet another door.

"Yeah, he's-What the hell?!" We both tensed to keep our footing. The ground shook and the sound of an explosion rang through our ears.

"Something blew up." Sai muttered. "That way." He pointed to our right. The sound wasn't too loud, so it must have been a ways away.

"It could be him." We both nodded and ran in that direction.

(Sakura)

We were so close when it happened, I could see the smoke through one of the open hallways. It was longer than most of the ones we had been through so far. With the smoke, and the sudden light shining in, it must have been an explosion, and it must have made a skylight.

"That could be him." Yamato called over the noise.

"I know, hurry!" We dashed down the hallway towards the smoky light.

I didn't even begin to consider that anything bad would happen if we were to find Sasuke. I didn't consider my actions, either, when we got to the end of the hallway.

This is what I saw, although it only happened in perhaps two seconds. I didn't think.

I only took in the landscape for a millisecond. It was a large bowl shaped space from the explosion.

I saw Naruto, crouched slightly to the right of me.

To the left of me, and across from him, I saw who I instantly assumed was Sasuke. He had a long metal blade aimed vertically at Naruto, aiming to go straight through him. I didn't think about Sasuke.

I just moved.

With a shout, I threw myself in front of Naruto, back facing him.

(Sasuke.)

I didn't even notice her when she came. I pulled back my sword to thrust it forward, and just as I was doing so, a rush of pink and red was thrown in front of the Naruto impersonating Itachi.

There was no time to stop and think about who or why, because the tip of the sword was only about a centimeter away from the person when they got there. Before I stabbed, I heard a male voice shout.

I felt the pressure from the impact for a second, and then I felt the end get lighter. I had had enough force to go all the way through their body. I missed Itachi, but I could deal with that later.

Right now I had to realize who I had just stabbed.

I focused on her for a second, and my brain started screaming. I could tell my blank, emotionless face I had recomposed was now probably looking horrified. Even with the changes, I knew who I had just impaled, and why she had gotten in front of "Naruto."

Sakura.

I dared myself to look down, and saw I had hit her in the center of the stomach. It didn't take a genius to know my sword was bloody inside of her and on the outside past her back. Blood had spurted, and I knew my hands were coated in it. It also dripped down from the wound. My grip on the sword never left.

I dared myself next to look back up, and her expression was blank. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was slightly open. She turned her head just barely to look behind her, and the imposter she had protected dispelled it's transformation. She saw she had rescued Itachi. She turned he head back with out a sound. Itachi disappeared.

I had done the opposite of what I wanted to do. I hurt Sakura, the very person I wanted alive to make Naruto happy. I had a feeling she would die.

"Please take it out of me." She whispered, voice half hysterical.

I swallowed, nodded, and pulled my blade back towards me. A new gush of blood fell from the front and back of her.

What have I done?

"Sa-ku-ra."

I heard the faint whisper of a voice I knew all too well, and I dreaded what would happen next.


	10. Promise?

Is 'beautiful' cheesy in the context of this chapter? In all the chapters I've used it in? Seriously. I need to know!

BTW, DO NOT KILL ME! PLEASE! I'm too young to die...

Sakura knows the truth. She knows that she wanted to protect Naruto, but it was really Itachi. Now that Itachi is gone, what will Naruto see?

* * *

I didn't dare look to where I heard his voice. Naruto's voice. I couldn't understand why they had come, even after I had sworn I'd never let them find me here.

I noticed that Kakashi was nowhere to be found, and in his place was another Jounin, starring in the same horror I was at Sakura's body.

Sakura was still standing.

The next thing I heard was Naruto's scream.

It wasn't so much that it was loud, it was just heartbreaking. It was fairly soundly, but it sounded more like a cry than a scream. It made it feel like someone had reached into your chest and squeezed your heart like they were trying to wring out the blood.

I never moved once.

Naruto and someone else I didn't recognize came running from my left. The Jounin I had noticed earlier ran to Sakura as well. Her legs suddenly gave out.

Naruto had tears running down his cheeks. He said nothing at first, just lowered himself down next to Sakura. He was probably just as shocked as I had been.

"Lift up one of my arms." Sakura begged in a broken voice. I couldn't believe she was still conscious.

Naruto nodded and lifted up her right arm by the wrist. He held her hand over the gaping whole in her body.

Sakura closed here eyes and bit her lip. Emerald colored chakra flowed from her fingertips into the wound.

Then there was waiting. Sakura didn't move, but her hand continued working.

After what only could have been fifteen seconds, the chakra flow stopped. "I can't…repair the cells…and stop the blood at the same time."

"Then I'll stop the blood, you work on the cells!" Naruto begged, practically sobbing.

"I've already lost too much of it." Sakura replied. Her voice was fading so fast. "You wouldn't know how."

The other boy, he had black hair and black eyes like me, only his skin was pastier, looked half as shocked as Naruto. "We have to get her back to Konoha."

"She'd die before we ever got back." The man said gravely, shaking his head.

"Then we have to help you now!" Naruto was practically yelling.

I still hadn't moved, but I started to take in the older Naruto.

He was still beautiful. Still adorable. His hair was even shinier blonde, aside from the dull spots from dirt, blood, and other things he may have gotten in it on his way here.

His eyes were a more vibrant blue, as well, but it was only because they were overflowing with liquid. It wasn't the best expression to sum up for the first time seeing him in two years. He was shaking with sobs and his face was reddened under the eyes.

He had more angles in his face instead of babyish curves, and he was decently taller. I could tell just by looking he was still smaller than me, though, height and frame alike.

"Can we stop the blood?" The Jounin offered. His voice was also getting sadder and sadder, duller and duller. It didn't seem like the situation would get better.

"I can't stop it with my chakra." Sakura was hardly whispering by now. Everything past that she said I couldn't quite make out, but I knew they were still speaking. I could still hear Naruto.

"Don't Sakura, don't! I'll do anything I have to so I can help you!" Naruto clung desperately to her right arm and continued crying. I had never seen him like that. I had seen him upset, but never like this.

"Don't ever blame him." Sakura said with some of the last air in her lungs. "Don't ever blame Sasuke. I wanted to protect you, but it wasn't you." I wasn't sure what she was saying, but I knew she was trying hard to do so. To keep herself conscious long enough to say what she needed to. "Sasuke didn't know. It wasn't his fault, it was mine. Promise." Her words were coming out monotone.

"No. No, no! Please, I promise! Don't-" Naruto stopped because Sakura opened her mouth to speak again.

I could understand this part. Her last words were clearer than everything else she said. "Promise that you'll bring that bastard home no matter what."

Naruto said nothing to that, just begged for her to try to stay alive. Her eyes closed and she didn't speak.

We all probably stood there for another ten minutes. Sakura's chest was still barely rising an falling, but she wasn't moving otherwise.  
She wasn't dead yet, but she was dying, and nothing could be done to help her. Even if they could have gotten to help, it would have taken too long.

We waited longer, but this time it was only seconds. Naruto stood up, completely silent other than his sobs.

Suddenly, The two other men jumped to get their arms looped around his shoulders and waist. Naruto had turned to lunge at me, eyes flaring red and nails lengthening. He was still crying, but it was mixed with growling. I took a few slow steps back.

The demonized Naruto thrashed and struggled in their grip, but he failed to get away. With more power, it would have been easy.

I remember being afraid of that power when we were younger, but even now, I never wanted to see him direct that force at me. I suppose I deserve it, none the less.

The Jounin set one hand hard on Naruto's back, releasing one of his shoulders. The other one had to redouble his efforts to keep him still, but Naruto began to calm down. His eyes faded back to blue, his nails went back to their human length, and his crying stopped. When he had reverted completely back to normal, he was unconscious. I thought the Jounin must have done something to stop the Kyubbi.

The black haired boy was holding Naruto up so he wouldn't fall, then the Jounin said, "He's run completely out of energy, with earlier and now. It's more important-" He paused to look at me. "-To get these two back to Konoha."

I realized then I hadn't said anything the entire time. I took a few more steps back.

"Sai, you carry Naruto, and I'll carry…Sakura." His voice nearly cracked near the end of the sentence, but I knew he wouldn't show that kind of emotion. I also knew the boys name, Sai.

It sparked a tiny fire in the bottom of my stomach when Sai lifted Naruto up into his arms, not traditionally on his back, but I showed nothing on the exterior. I couldn't believe myself.

Yamato lifted up Sakura on to his back, and I nearly cringed. Blood was still coming from her stomach, but only trickling, and her skin was whiter than Sai's. The worst part was her expression. She didn't look like she was satisfied, or at peace. She looked like she had regretted the way her life had ended, though anyone would have in that situation.

I wasn't paying attention, and the next thing I knew, the four of them were gone.

"Hello, Sasuke." It was practically a hiss.

"Hello Orochimaru."

* * *

...Like I said, I wanna live.


	11. Remember

**_Before you read:  
_**I. Do. Not. Like. NaruSaku. It. Is. Plot. Seriously.

If any of you read the twilight series but Stephanie Meyer, I did not steal a line off of her, it just makes sense to me, and I hadn't considered it until after I wrote it!

* * *

_3 days later…_

"Naruto, I'm being serious!" it was the third time Iruka came, nine in the morning, like clockwork for the past three days.

"I know." I answered. I didn't even sound like myself anymore.

His voice softened a fraction. "You have to eat something. It's been three days, do you want to die?"

I rolled over on Sasuke's bed. "A tiny bit." He was right though, the only thing I had gotten in the past three days was sleep and water, no exercise or food.

Iruka sighed sadly. "I know what it feels like."

We were both silent for a few moments, besides the bed rustling, then Iruka spoke again. "Sakura's funeral was yesterday. Kakashi went for you." His voice was hesitant, and I knew he was watching me with out having to look.

"I know that, too." I had gotten my fair share of crying out in the beginning. I had never seen Kakashi cry, until then. Tsunade didn't, but it looked like she could have. I remember giving the mission report and not being able to say anything. Yamato had to say it all, and I just ran out. Since then I had been in Sasuke's old mansion.

Sakura. Was. Dead.

I felt like I was half dead in a world without the sun.

Iruka had wanted to tell me, but he hadn't wanted to upset me. He left long pauses and was careful about every word he said.

"He said they buried her, so her body is still here in Konoha."

"That's good." I answered.

He didn't hesitate this time. "If I take you out for ramen, will it make you yourself again?"

I pressed my face against one of Sasuke's pillows, inhaling. "Maybe."

He sighed again. "Naruto, even more than the food, I'm worried about your psychological health. This isn't you at all." I knew I was hurting him more than myself, but I couldn't do anything about it.

"I just need some time to get over myself." I answered, attempting to get out of my laying position, and failing. Much too comfortable.

"Please eat, and try to feel better." I heard Iruka walk away to leave. Then he added, "Yamato wants to talk to you, and Lady Tsunade as well. Yamato wants you in an hour, so please try to eat before that. He'll be at your old training grounds."

They had left me alone for three days, but they must have gotten sick of waiting. "Okay."

I had been in here, but I hadn't been alone. Kiba's team, Lee's team, and Shikamaru's team had come with flowers and sympathy. I had wondered why then, because they seemed so worried and sad. Then I remembered that they never knew about Sasuke and I, so they thought I was in love with Sakura. No wonder they acted so weird.

Maybe I should tell my friends the truth.

The one thing I had been thinking about even more than everything else though, was that the person who blacked out my sun, was Sasuke. Like the moon, but the eclipse was eternal.

(If you read twilight, Sasuke is like Edward and Sakura was like Jacob?)

And that Sakura, in her last words, had told me twice not to blame him. To never hate him or feel vengeful because it wasn't his fault.

Just his hands, sword, and stab.

My feelings and hope for Sasuke would never extinguish, but it was impossible not to be angry at him for it. How could it not be his doing? When I saw, it was just him, Sakura, and his sword. Like he had stabbed her for no reason.

_Remember how she said she wanted to protect you, but it wasn't you?_

_Yeah Kyubbi, but no one was there._

_Maybe you missed something._

…

Then of course, though I wasn't thinking of it most of all, was Sasuke's appearance.

The younger Sasuke had won almost every girl in Konoha over by his looks, and me. If he was gorgeous then, he was godly now. His hair was longer and fuller, and his face had developed to be more sharp. He was tall, (taller than me still, damn.) lean, and well toned. Not to mention his shirt was slit completely down the middle.

But I still wasn't thinking to much about him.

Keeping Kyubbi's previous advice floating in my head, I decided that even if it was just soldier pills, I needed food. Just enough food to go see Yamato and Tsunade, then be done.

With strained effort, I sat up. When I tried to stand up, my legs and fingers were shaking. I managed, but nutrition was in my future. I hadn't noticed it so much until now.

I walked down Sasuke's stairs, clinging to the railing for fear of falling. I was so weak I couldn't believe it. There had been the lack of food for three days, yes, but right after I had been drained of chakra, and my skin had been recovering from third degree burns, was making it unbearable.

When I finally got to Sasuke's kitchen, I decided on soldier pills. They were fast acting, and would make up for all the nutrition I had lost. I wouldn't have been surprised if I lost a few pounds since Sakura…

No.

Yamato wanted me in an hour, and while I waited, I walked around Sasuke's house, waiting for the two soldier pills I had taken to work their magic on my weak body. All the while, still thinking.

Sakura was so much more deserving than I was. She had a family, friends, a bright future, and yet all her time was spent helping me. Supporting me, making promises to me. All she ever talked about was how I had to get stronger and bring Sasuke back. And it was never for her own sake, just mine. She was always concerned about me. It made me wonder, why me? She had had feelings for Sasuke, and she never told me that they ever went away, or changed.

If they didn't, I couldn't grasp why she had helped me, and never considered envying me.

If she had dropped those feelings, why?

When I felt my body getting noticeably better, and the time when I was supposed to meet Yamato got closer, I headed out to see him. Luckily no one I knew had spotted me, because I'm sure they would have flipped.

By the time I got to my old trainning grounds, Yamato was waiting for me. I hadn't been here in a long time. Not since I had been home from traveling with Jiriya.

Sasuke's tree, the spot where Sasuke and I confessed, and the spot where Sakura and I played tick-tack-toe. The spots and the events that happened in them were still clean in my mind, surprisingly. Even simple things like Sakura and my game in the dirt were easy to remember. Most moments in my life stuck to me.

"How are you?" It was the first thing Yamato asked when I got close enough.

"I could be better." I replied with a short shrug.

He nodded, a sympathetic look on his face. "I want you to know, because Kakashi won't tell you. Something you need to know."

I tilted my head slightly. "What?"

"I'll start with the most important part. Sakura loved you." The words came out slowly.

"I know-" I started to say, but his next words stopped me.

"Sakura was in love with you."

That was much harder to grasp than the first sentence. It was easy for me to believe him, but not to understand. Something inside seemed to snap.

"Do you want to hear it from the beginning?" Yamato offered.

I nodded, speechless.

"When you went after Sasuke, the first time, Sakura had pestered Kakashi to go after the two of you." I thought Kakashi must have filled him in on all this. But I still couldn't comprehend what he had clarified to me. "She said she was worried, that Sasuke might hurt you, or maybe even kill you."

That tugged at my heart a little. He had tried to kill me. I still hadn't found out why.

He continued. "That was when Kakashi "hinted" as she told you, to Sakura, that you and Sasuke were in a relationship deeper than friendship."

"Yamato!" I looked up surprised. Kakashi must have told him about Sasuke and I being together, too.

"Relax. That doesn't bother me." I wrapped my arms around myself, and he continued. "After that, Sakura admitted to Kakashi, that while Sasuke was her teammate, and she cared about him, she realized her "feelings" for him were her stupid, childish desires for popularity."

I swallowed, knowing exactly what was coming next.

"Sakura told Kakashi that she realized she had more matured feelings for you."

Why wouldn't she have told me something like that?

"But…Why…" I couldn't form the right question, but Yamato seemed to read my mind.

"Sakura told Kakashi not to tell you, and he didn't. She said that if Sasuke and you were together, it would be selfish of her to tell you her feelings, and hurt you."

It did make sense. And yet, she died, and still never told me? That she-

"Sakura made a promise of her own, to you, after you left that day." He added. "She swore that she would live for you. If you wanted Sasuke back, she would put everything she had into helping you."

Suddenly I understood some of her actions that I hadn't before. When I was in the hospital, and she stayed so unfazed at the fact I was with Sasuke. When she promised to do everything she could to bring him back, "For both of us." When she had such dreading look on her face before we got inside Orochimaru's hideout. I understood it all.

"She didn't…She didn't get to…" I was at a loss for words.

"I thought you should hear that. I think Sakura tried to tell you, but she didn't have enough strength in the last moments." Yamato shook his head slowly.

Even if something does happen to me, don't think to much about it. Things will get better. It'll all work out. I remembered her saying that, too.

Then suddenly I remembered my dream, and I knew I was missing one last piece of the puzzle.

"Yamato," I said suddenly, my voice louder and quicker than before. "I had a dream while we were in that wooden house of yours."

He rose his eyebrows, interested in the subject.

"In my dream, there was Sasuke, Sakura, and me. But there were two of me. I think I saw the future. Sasuke…stabbed Sakura…in my dream. But I could never understand why. I think it has something to do with the "other Naruto" from my dream. Why exactly did Sasuke do it?"

Yamato had been listening intently, and his eyes started to widen. "You dreamed that? Before it happened?"

I nodded.

"The other Naruto…That makes so much sense." He looked shocked.

"Tell me what happened!" I replied.

"I was hoping not to tell you. Don't freak." He ordered.

I nodded, slightly more hesitant now.

"Sasuke appeared to be fighting with you, when Sakura and I spotted him. Obviously, it wasn't you, but Sakura assumed that. When Sasuke went out to stab "you," and in such a fatal place…Sakura didn't want to see "you" get hurt. Her action confused me, but she dove in the way, so Sasuke got her, not "you." That other Naruto, was who she saved."

She wanted to protect me. Like she had said. I didn't understand the first time, but now I did. "So…Who was it?"

"It was Itachi, disguised as you."

The perfect explanation as to why Sasuke wanted to kill him. It wasn't Sasuke's fault, Not Sakura's fault…

"This is Itachi's fault?" My tone got vicious in an instant. "Itachi…" I fisted my hands. "But why would he do that!? He doesn't even care about Sasuke!"

"But he didn't know the real you or Sakura was there in the first place, so it must have originally been planned for Sasuke." Yamato replied.

"I don't get it…Does he want Sasuke to come after him? Is he trying to make him angrier?" I asked, not necessarily to Yamato, but out loud to make my point.

"Maybe. I wouldn't know." Yamato answered. "But now you understand?" His voice got much softer, and I calmed down as well.

"Yes, thank you." I bowed my head slightly, and he nodded.

"Tsunade wanted to ask you personally…" I looked up at his new subject. "But I think I will. Do you still plan to bring Sasuke back?"

99.9 of me wanted to say yes, but what was left was still thinking about Sakura. After a few seconds, I finally decided.

"Well?" Yamato asked.

"Not only do I want to more than anything, but Sakura would want it too. Yes, I am. Until I get him back." I smiled, and I almost surprised myself. I hadn't smiled since I told Sai about Sasuke. Then I realized, I smiled whenever I talked about Sasuke in a good way. It was like second nature.

His face darkened so little I barely noticed, but he nodded. I didn't think to much about it.

I think the ramen Iruka offered earlier sounded like a good idea.

* * *

The second to last line you read is for a reason, your only clue!


	12. Naruto

_**This chapter is SLIGHTY M. Not terrible.**_

Sasuke is stupid, he is not right ;) Remember, Italic font for Sasuke and anyone besides Naruto is flashback unless stated otherwise!

* * *

It was hard to take, but I made an assumption the moment they were gone.

Naruto wasn't ever going to forgive me.

At least that made it easier to accept the fate I probably would have had anyway. It made it easier to focus on training, and easier to stop thinking about him.

For the past three days, that's what I had done. Trained. An obsessive thought of Naruto never passed my mind. I knew it was pointless to hope. I had walked away from Naruto, then taken what he had left away.

He'd never forgive me.

More than anything, right now, I was thinking of Itachi. I wouldn't be, had it not been for the day Naruto and Sakura came. When Orochimaru came after it was over, was when I finally got it.

"_Hello Orochimaru."_

"_I see I don't have to tell you who I met at the bridge today."_

"_No."_

"_What happened? It's bloody." His tone had sounded like he watched the whole thing. He just wanted to hear me say it._

"_I'm a monster."_

_He practically laughed. "Isn't that what you came here for?"_

_I didn't answer._

"_Tell me what happened." Orochimaru continued._

"_Itachi came. He made himself look like Naruto. I knew he was fake." I kept my voice at one level the entire time. "I tried to stab him. Sakura thought he was Naru-" I stopped talking._

_He laughed again._

"_Itachi." I seethed._

_  
"Yes, Itachi."_

Since then, I had been seriously considering going after Itachi. Considering how to get away from or deal with Orochimaru, or if worse comes to worse, see if Orochimaru would let me go. Then I could just come back when he wanted a body transfer, and kill him. Or I could just kill him now, and leave Kabuto to the fate I thought he deserved. Or maybe I could just get out of here…

While sitting in the dark of my room, pondering ideas, the door creaked.

Without moving my head, my eyes traveled to Kabuto at the door.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Orochimaru wants you. For something important." Kabuto replied. He didn't have a smirk on his face, so I thought for a second that he might be serious.

"It hasn't been true any other time. What makes you think I'll take your crap now?" I replied.

"He'll be angrier if I tell him to come here." Kabuto didn't reply directly.

I didn't answer, just watched his face for any sign of sarcasm.

"I have a feeling it has to do with Itachi." His face never changed.

I stood up. "If you're lying, I slaughter you." I threatened.

"Fair enough. He's in his room." Kabuto motioned out the door, so I walked out, shoving past him. He didn't follow me, which I thought was strange for him, being Orochimaru's lap dog. It must have been something he wasn't supposed to know about. Which, in other words, meant something important for me.

Orochimaru's room was close by, if you could consider one hundred yards close. I sometimes wondered what all the empty rooms were for, but never asked. I didn't care enough to actually worry about an answer.

I didn't bother knocking, just swung the door open. Naturally, his room was huge, and there were two hallways to joint rooms in it. He wasn't in the main room, which consisted of his bed and a table. The joint room to the right, which could also be accessed by an outside door, was for his experiments. I had never gone in and I never planned to, so I settled for left. The left side harbored a room with another smaller bed, a desk, and a light.

When I opened the door, (Once again without bothering to knock, who cared?) I found him sitting at that desk, back to me. The door had creaked when I came in, so there was no need to announce I was here. If he had really called me, he would know.

He turned slightly at first, then completely. He stood up and turned to face me. There was about ten feet between the two of us.

"Did you send for me?" I asked flatly.

"I did." He replied, smiling bad enough to make an outsider sick. "It seems you can't kill Kabuto."

I didn't ask him how he knew, and I didn't care either. Luckily, he moved on.

"Remember what I said…about you not being able to control your emotions?" He took a few steps forward, and I almost moved back, but thought better of it.

"I do." I starred at him as hard as possible, and avoided flinching when he lifted one arm and I heard the door behind us shut.

"I still haven't tried to fix that." Orochimaru responded, decreasing the distance between us with every second.

I couldn't resist it this time, so I took one step back. It was futile, because he kept slowly moving forward. It wasn't too hard to figure out why Kabuto hadn't followed me.

I had been through this before, though. It was how I got to the way I was now, almost completely without emotion or expression.

But Orochimaru had a different way of doing it then they did back in Konoha for the ANBU. It usually started with a slap or punch. If I could keep a straight face, he would continue at that until it had been long enough, or until I made a face. If he slapped me and I gauged a facial reaction, he did something worse. Kicking, biting, suffocating and knife wounds. I had been through it all the first time we did it. That time I had gotten too beaten up to continue, and he stopped. I slowly got better at, lessening the treatment each time. That was how I learned never to show an emotion, no matter what the case. He hadn't done it in a long time, and I knew the contact with Naruto and Sakura had helped it wear off.

Although I hadn't expected this, nor was I sure I could handle it.

When he finally reached me, his speed decreasing near the end, he reached one hand behind me, leaving it at the nape of my neck. His other hand squeezed my chin and forced me to look up.

I was only a bit smaller than he was, so he only had to tilt his head slightly to be at my ear.

"Naruto."

I cringed and tried to force my head to one side. In a flash, the hand on the back of my neck was digging sharply into my stomach. He didn't let me move though, so I couldn't draw back.

"Naruto. Naruto." Each time I heard his name, I made some reaction. A cringe, a shiver, or a flinch. Each time I reacted, I got punched, kicked, or bit around the neck and shoulders. I could care less about the violence, and didn't react. But the sound of Naruto's name being hissed against my ears was too much. Any work I may have done to stop thinking about him was erased, then the thoughts were increased ten fold within seconds.

I did everything in my physical power to stop. I willed with my mind and body to not do anything with the next torture of his name.

"Naruto."

At first it worked. Orochimaru looked slightly surprised. I had clenched my teeth underneath my lips so he wouldn't see, and narrowed my eyes. I knew my defense wouldn't last long, if it did at all. I already had bruises and teeth indents, but I knew if I couldn't keep this up, those would be the least of my problems.

He smirked slightly, and slid one hand back around to my neck, then up through my hair. He pressed his face against my neck and I ALMOST moved.

"Naruto."

It wasn't just a quick word, he dragged the boys name out to see if I could handle it. I couldn't. My whole body moved when I flinched, and his teeth dug into my shoulder, this time breaking the skin. Blood rose to the surface and dripped, but once again that didn't faze me.

This continued for hours. It took me until I was bleeding heavily and harshly beat up until I was able not to react. I still couldn't feel a thing on my body, but my mind was screaming, and racing with thoughts of Naruto. Orochimaru probably could have tested me further, and despite that he didn't. He just sent me back to my room, looking pleased with himself.

Naruto.

I'd give almost anything, to see Naruto.

Yay! Emotion Training! Not. This story needs SasuNaru action. Which will hopefully come soon! Thanks guys!


	13. Bottled Up

This chapter is freakishly uplifting, compared to the last. Then it gets mushy. You've been warned, I guess xD

**_EPIC FILLER CHAPTER! Remember that?_**

* * *

"Iruka?" I hadn't found him at his house, so I had carefully snuck into the locked academy. It was after hours and getting dark.

I was walking down hallways, resisting the urge to reminisce about being a student here. And resisting the idea to think of a certain nameless kid who was like god, and pushed me into a certain someone.

Coming here made me feel a little less depressed. Like I was fully healed, but there still wasn't a sun in my sky.

Everything in the academy was mostly dim, besides the smaller lights for the janitors. I did however, notice a bright light coming from one of the classrooms. When I opened it and peered around it without fully entering, I saw Iruka at his desk, rubbing his head in irritation. Too many papers to grade, I assumed.

"Hi Iruka." I said, coming all the way through the door.

I must have nearly given him a heart attack, because he jumped out of his seat and took up a defensive stance, starring at me. I stood stalk still and watched him.

A few seconds passed, and Iruka calmed down. "How on earth did you get in here?" he asked, shaking his head. He returned to his seat, sighing in relief.

"Um…It's not too hard to break in. Sorry." I rubbed the back of my head. "And you weren't at home, besides that."

He looked up from his seemingly endless reign of papers. "Did you need me for something?"

I'm sure he was both surprised and happy that the attitude I had shown him earlier was gone. After remembering this was the last thing Sakura would want, and after everything Yamato had told me, it made it so much easier to feel better.

"Well…The ramen, sounds good." I grinned sheepishly, and now I could see his surprise on his face. He smiled back slightly.

"I have so many papers to grade…" Iruka muttered. "And I wanted to check on Kakashi. He'll be getting out of the hospital tomorrow, but that's based on his own judgment. Wouldn't want him to make it worse." Iruka seemed to forget he was talking to me, because he suddenly said, "Oh right, I'm really busy."

I put on a joking pout. "Come on, let the papers wait! I bet Kakashi would love it if we brought him ramen."

"But I promised the students I'd-" He began.

"I was kidding, 'Ruka!" I cut him off before he could answer. "That's okay, but can we go tomorrow?"

He shook his head. "If you really wanted to go tonight, you could ask Sai."

It felt like he dropped an anvil on me. "How do you know about him!?" I growled.

I watched him almost smile. He was completely reassured I was the old Naruto, mood swings and ramen craving returned. "Kakashi told me he'd be joining the team, last I visited him. I didn't hear much about him, but since he's a teammate, you could get to know him better."

Iruka had been the only person who didn't call him replacement. It made me wonder whether or not he considered it, or it just came out. Either way, it sounded better to me. "If you knew him, you'd think otherwise." I muttered.

"Well I don't know him, and since you've only been on one outing with him, you probably don't either. Too well, anyway." Iruka replied, writing something on a paper, and shoving it aside. "Besides, he might pay, if you don't have any money."

I didn't. And for sure he'd pay. I tried to not think about what had happened in Yamato's wood house, and tried to think about what he had said in one of Orochimaru's rooms. He wasn't terrible, and teammate - Not replacement- he would be, for a while.

"Actually, I think I will." But where to find him?

As if reading my mind, Iruka said, "Oh, Kakashi said he lives somewhere in the district two down from yours, at least on a regular basis. Sometimes he's with Root, but since he's been made a part of your team…"

I grinned. "I think I can find him. See you, Iruka." We both waved slightly, and as I walked out his head turned back to his papers. I almost left, but poked by head back through the door.

"Hey, don't think this means you're out of ramen forever." I said in a semi-serious, mostly joking tone.

"I wouldn't dream!" Iruka answered, waving again as I left.

I knew Iruka was referring to the district two down from the one I use to live in, not the Uchiha district. It was isolated from the rest, hidden in what seemed to be an alley in the main district of the village.

When I reached that living district, he wasn't hard to find. The houses were tiny, but two story. Stacked in two stories, but only about three hundred square feet. They were all identical, but he wasn't hard to find because he was outside his. I was more curious than I was surprised, because he was sitting on his tiny porch- painting.

He was so enthralled in what he was doing, he didn't notice me until I was on top of him. He blinked, looking a little surprised when he noticed my head poking down at his work.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Um…Nothing really." Sai answered.

And he wasn't lying, because it was just a massive swirl of colors, bright and pastel, heavy and light. "Why are you here?" He asked, still looking surprised.

I sighed. I considered making up something lame, but I decided Iruka was right. "Do you like ramen?"

He put his brush down on the rack at the base of his canvas. "Yeah, but-"

I tried to be subtle about the fact I wasn't too happy about it, but content. I knew he was apprehensive because of my three day absence, all due to Sakura's…I will not think the word. "You. Me. Ramen. You buy. We clear?"

"Naruto?" Sai gave me a sarcastic look.

I sighed again. "Would you be willing to buy me ramen? Iruka's busy." He didn't need to know Iruka's real reason, or mine. After what he had told me about his mission to murder Sasuke, and then to defile ANBU orders…

We were both silent for a moment.

I felt like he knew my real reason without me having to tell him. "I'd-" He thought twice about it. "Sure."

We were silent the entire way, but when we got there and had food in front of us, I decided it was time for me to drill him.

But he drilled me instead. "So. Naruto, why don't you fill me in?"

I raised my eyes from stuffing noodles down my throat. Real. Food. I needed it more than I thought. I almost forgot why I came I was so caught up in the heavenly substance. "Mm…Fill you-" Swallow. "-In?"

"On second thought, eat it first." Sai muttered shaking his head. I continued without argument.

I ate two more bowls, one more than I usually did. I knew I would be feeling the sudden change in my stomach soon, the bad way, but I didn't worry about it. Ramen was so worth it.

"Are you done now?" Sai had only eaten one bowl, and I wasn't sure how that was possible.

"Can you afford more?"

"No, probably not."

"Thank you!" I grinned and pushed my bowl to one side.

"Sure!" He answered, smiling back. I almost stopped but decided it would be rude. He had his now- as much of trademark as Sasuke's smirk- grin on. "You and ramen…it's like girls and chocolate on PMS."

I glared slightly. That wasn't exactly flattering, but it was true. "I actually had a reason for this beside comfort food," I added. "But you first."

"I'd like it if you filled me in, in exchange for ramen. You know, Sasuke and Sakura. From the beginning." His grin faded, and it sort of surprised me.

"Oh." And I knew what he meant. "Everything?"

"If you're okay with it. This is ramen I gave you." He almost smiled, but I couldn't do it.

Most of the story was embarrassing, torturing embarrassing. But despite that, no one had ever asked. I found myself wanting to retell it all, so I could freshen the good times in my memory. Even to Sai.

So I started talking without further prompting. I didn't leave out anything. I started with how I found my self staring at Sasuke ALL the time. I even worked in the part about how people would beat me up at night. This wasn't the case anymore, but that lead us off topic and he asked about Kyubbi. After explaining, I could not drag myself away from the subject.

I told him about Sasuke's mean, cold personality, and how it was shocking to have him suddenly be so nice to me. At least, kinder, although the level of kindness was gradual. I told him when the starring got worse, about my mirror experiment. I even described my face to him. I mentioned how I was stupid to have not figured it out then. When I got into the mission about how we first met Orochimaru, Sai was surprised. He didn't know I had come in contact with him that early. I told him about how Sasuke had caught me watching him, and watched back.

I cringed at describing the memory of Sasuke taking Orochimaru's fatal cut for me. I finally blushed when I described how it all suddenly snapped for me, I was in love with him. I told him about all the fear and desperation. Even when things got mushy, Sai's listening gaze never faltered. I told him about the hug, and the kiss on the forehead. Then about the following silence, how he would never come near me.

The best part for me was when I told him about Sasuke's confession during our spar. I told him every detail. I think I may have gotten to indepth about the sensory, but I didn't care. I repeated what both of us had said to and about each other. I suddenly lingered away from that event, and began to describe Sasuke. The good Sasuke, the real Sasuke. Every reason I loved him. In mid-conversation, Sai's eyes widened and I stopped.

"What?" I whispered, but I didn't wait for him to say anything. I tapped my hand to my cheek and half groaned.

Tears.

"You don't have to keep going!" Sai said suddenly, slightly raising his hands.

But I wanted to keep going. I realized this was good, exactly what my mind needed. I needed to get it all out, no matter how hard it was. Kind of like admitting to myself I loved Sasuke. The moment I got out what was bottled up, I felt happier.

"No, I want too." I shook my head, liquid flying off in the process.

He nodded.

I picked up where I left off, taking deep breaths. I continued about what happened after our sparring, then went on to Sasuke's mansion. I didn't describe it much, just told him about my nightmare, and how Sasuke had been there the moment I woke up. I even mentioned how I still slept there.

Then suddenly the tears turned hot and I was angry. I started describing Sasuke's brother Itachi, and about what happened when I encountered him. How Sasuke showed up and things got ugly.

I vaguely described what happened afterward, but skimmed to when Sasuke had woken up from the Mangekyo effect. I told him about how even before that, his good personality had been reverting. I told him about his drive to kill his brother, and how he very suddenly became hostile. I described everything I had missed in the back story, about Orochimaru, the curse mark, and the promise for power. The next morning Sasuke was gone, and I was on a mission to bring him back from heading to Orochimaru.

He didn't need me to tell him I had failed. I continued, wearily now, afraid to drag up the last memories I had. The last time I had spoken words to him. I told him about the fight, the wanting to kill me. I mentioned that I still didn't know why. I told him about losing, and how that was it. I was near Konoha and Sasuke was long gone by the time I was conscious. But I was alive.

I stopped talking, panting slightly because I had barely stopped to breathe.

The loose, empty feeling hadn't come, even after saying it all. Sai unintentionally told me what I was missing.

"Sakura?" He was hesitant.

"Yeah, one second."

Sakura wasn't a huge part of the story, but I rethought the story, and skimmed. After I had composed it in my head, I continued talking.

I explained how up until the point of me going after Sasuke, she had been completely oblivious to Sasuke and I, and that we went through a stage where we somewhat isolated from her.

I threw in Yamato's comments about her real feelings, and did a run through of what had happened earlier this afternoon. Then I mentioned when she started to spill what I had missed about Sasuke and the curse mark. She had willingly told me in the middle of the night, and continued on over worrying about Sasuke, despite what she was really hiding.

I skipped ahead to when I came back from my battle with Sasuke, and how I had admitted Sasuke and my relationship in the hospital to her. She seemed a little shocked at first, but then quickly agreed to do anything she could to help me.

She continued to promise this. I told him how she meant "Anything," Even what she had done nearly four days ago.

I threw in the rest of Yamato's comments about what had happened, and how the fake Naruto was Itachi, then finished.

"What was that all about?" Sai asked, after a long moment of silence.

"I had to get everything that was bottled up out, so I would feel better." And almost as quickly as I had finished, I did. Everything I had been storing inside of me suddenly dropped, and I felt lightweight. Much better.

"I think I understand it all." Sai replied. "I know what you mean."

"But the story still isn't over." I answered confidently. "That isn't the end, and the end will be better, I'll make sure of it."

**_EPIC FILLER CHAPTER, OH NO._**


	14. Getting Out

**_Well, Sasunaru had to happen one way or another :)_**

**_

* * *

_**

I only lived in this base with two god damn people who weren't imprisoned, and yet they weren't smart enough to figure out that when I had locked myself in my room, I didn't want the lock broken so they could bug me.

It was mostly Kabuto, Orochimaru once, right now.

Kabuto had driven me crazy about every little thing I had to do, and he was just reminding me. Besides that, he was frequently mocking me about what happened the other night. Obviously, he had been out there listening. But he dare not say that name now forbidden to my sanity, because he wasn't Orochimaru, and I could easily kill him. I could probably kill Orochimaru too, but it would be pointless.

Now I had to deal with the fact it was Orochimaru who had broken the lock to my room. I had just seen him, although he looked like he had been pondering something. Now he must have been ready to tell me.

"If you wanted in, you didn't have to break the door." I grumbled.

"You wouldn't have let me in." But his voice was serious, not a sinister joke like it usually was.

"What do you want?"

He didn't touch me this time, just leaned down to my face, because I was sitting on my bed. "Naruto."

I rolled my lips together and then relaxed them. I held my eyes in the same place without blinking. Orochimaru moved away and smiled. "Good."

It had looked to him like I had left the matter so far behind me, I pretended to be bored. But it was really my best outer defense. Good thing he couldn't read my mind.

"I'll tell you here and now, in plain English." Orochimaru said, his eyes now more serious.

I had already had my eyes closed, focusing at the back of my eyelids so I could imagine Naruto, but I didn't move.

"The soul transfer is in two months."

My eyes snapped open and he abruptly slapped me, but I could care less about that. Orochimaru did nothing further. I tried to relax my body.

Had I been counting MONTHS wrong? Was he joking? I could have sworn I had at least four. Two was still some time, but it was closer now, and not at all comforting. A million plans bubbled up into my head. Which to use…

"When it's done, our powers put together will be enough to kill your brother."

The mention of Itachi paused my plotting and sent me into a silent rage, then back to plotting. I wanted to kill my brother on my own, not with his help. "I see. Did you only come to remind me of the date?"

"And break your door?" His tone was sarcastic again.

"What's the real reason I have no privacy now?" I muttered in question.

He thought for a moment like he was considering the best way of putting it. "You're final emotion training test." His voice was still joking. "Your last test…to make sure I've erased Kyubbi boy from your memory, is to go to Konoha."

"No." The word spilled out. It wasn't that I didn't want to go to Konoha, I couldn't. I didn't want to hear the rest of this either.

He continued anyway. "Whether or not you see Naruto," He paused to drive me more insane. "Isn't my problem. But your last test is to go to Konoha, and then will yourself to come home. If you can do it, you'll prove emotions can't get in your way."

Home? I almost growled out loud, but held it back. This wasn't my home, it was my temporary - yet handy- hell.

"I refuse." I answered.

"Do you want to kill your brother?" Rhetorical of course.

"When?" I hissed.

He smirked, satisfied. "Tomorrow morning." He turned to leave, and then stopped. "Oh, Sasuke? If you decide not to come back, I'll take you back anyway, and it won't be pleasant."

My whole body twitched, then he left the room, not bothering to shut my now busted door I would have to fix again.

Ignoring the door, I rolled over on my bed and laid on my stomach. Thinking time. I had some options to get myself past this.

Option one, kill Orochimaru tonight. If I could pull that off, I would avoid going to Konoha, and could get straight to locating my brother. The only downside to this, I couldn't see Naruto.

I wanted to see Naruto almost as much as I wanted to kill my brother. If I went to Konoha in the morning, I would be there in a day, and I could spend the next day and hopefully see him. Then I could come back here, kill Orochimaru, and go after my brother. Either way, I would have to kill Orochimaru to avoid losing my body. In other words, option two.

There was only one flaw in my second option. Would I be able to come back on my own accord?

With every time I heard the word Naruto, my head involuntarily called back memories of him. Of us together. It hadn't been a problem until now, because Orochimaru hadn't discovered that weakness. It also didn't help that I had seen him roughly four days ago, now almost five. Besides that, it wasn't the old Naruto I was seeing. I was seeing the older, more amazing Naruto. And I only got to see him crying. It wasn't the best thing to have set in your head.

I remembered Naruto always being so happy. At least, in his own head. He was slightly obnoxious and annoying, but he was never…he cried, sure. But most of the time he was always exited. He jumped into things, and he had plenty of mood swings. I didn't see any of those things when I last met him. I had never seen him look so dead, even before it hit him that he couldn't help Sakura.

"My fault." I muttered out loud, then momentarily yelled at myself internally for talking to myself.

It was my fault for making him that way, thus bringing up the point, he wasn't ever going to forgive me for everything I had done. Stupid, stupid me.

So was there any reason to go to Konoha, besides bringing back my sanity? Or satisfying my hormones?

Of course there was. Even if Naruto hated me more than anything, my feelings for him would never falter, even if Orochimaru tortured me until I died. I would still love him wherever I was when I was dead. I would still love him if he chose someone else to love and fill the void, which he might have already done.

I still love him now.

I had to go to Konoha, even if it was just to lay eyes on him once.

I slept restlessly.

"I'd get up if I were you." Kabuto's voice rang through my half asleep ears.

I groaned and sat up instantly, still missing the nights sleep. I had forgotten to fix my stupid door. I didn't want to think about what I said in my sleep, and who may have heard me. Specifically Orochimaru, I could care less about Kabuto.

I swallowed a yawn. "Where's Orochimaru?"

"I know you hate to believe me, but it's your chance to get out of here. He's out. You're supposed to go." Kabuto replied.

It didn't matter whether I believed him or not. I was getting out to go to Konoha, and he wasn't stopping me. "Get out, I'm changing." I ordered, and he did.

I got into clean clothes quickly, and equipped my body with my normal stock of weapons.

I'm getting out. To see Naruto.

* * *

Soon...Sasunaru Soon...


	15. Other Half

This chapter was HARD to write. I wanted it to be in character and somewhat realistic, but then I wanted to add my mush, and then I pretty much killed it. It took awhile, too. So…**_I would love to hear as many opinions as possible on this chapter! Critique me!_**

* * *

_Kit._

_Go away! _

_Kind of hard when I'm trapped inside you._

_What do you want?_ I whined, a little less angry.

_You've been lying in bed for three hours trying to fall asleep, and you're wondering what I want? SLEEP._

_Well forget it. I can't sleep. I've had a bad feeling all day._

_What kind of bad feeling?_

_You know how Akatsuki was going to come after me in three years? I'm wondering if they're coming soon…Or when exactly they'll come._

_You shouldn't worry about it._

_But I do worry! I'm sure I'm a match for some of them by now…but I don't want to get extracted, thank you._

_Considering you're dead tired, why don't you go out and take a walk? Exhaust yourself some to make it easier._

_Walking isn't very exhausting._

_Run._

I grumbled, still lying awake in Sasuke's bed. It had been easy to fall asleep the night Sai and I had ramen, but not tonight. It must have been at least one in the morning.

Unfortunately, Kyubbi had a point. Maybe the fresh air would do me some good, too. Help me clear my head.

I rolled out of bed, and didn't bother changing back into regular clothes, just threw my jacket on over the top of my pajama shirt.

It was pitch black outside, all of the lights had been shut off a long time ago. I had gone on a boring mission today, still being a Genin. Usually I went on Chunin missions with Sakura, but obviously that was out.

I knew the toll Sakura's death had taken on me would fade, but never go away completely. Like my sun was gone, but I still had the moon to look forward too.

After the missions, Yamato and Kakashi had offered some hardcore training, but I was surprised I wasn't exhausted from that. Kyubbi must have been getting too efficient.

I decided to run all the way out of the city and to my training grounds, rest, then go back and see if I could find sleep.

The running exhausted me quickly, so I knew I wouldn't have troubles sleeping when I returned, and the air whooshing by was more relaxing then it was cold, clearing my conscious like I hoped it would. I almost completely forgot my fear of Akatsuki, though it lingered in the back of my head.

By the time I reached the open clearing that I use to go to almost everyday, my eyes had adjusted to the little light from the moon. Everything was clear. My eyes revealed the shapes, and the moonlight revealed the details.

_Tired now?_

_Yeah._

A loud growl broke through his throat.

_What?_

_Someone is stalking you! Listen!_

_What!?_

I instantly became awake and alert. The only thing I could hear was wind and rushing water, which was normal. I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, and my eyes were perfectly adjusted.

"Try behind you."

I froze, and lost all of my senses but hearing in that moment.

That serious and deep, yet taunting and brooding voice could only belong to one person I knew, even with the changes in it from maturity.

At first all I felt was shock. I couldn't make my senses come back, and my body refused to turn around. As my senses reluctantly returned, and I became tuned with the world again, I decided it would be a mistake to show Sasuke how I really felt at the moment. It would look pathetic. I composed myself, and settled for the most obvious reaction.

"What are you doing here!?" I growled, spinning around to face him.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke emphasized on you, voice a lot calmer than mine. Still smirking. Very natural. "Out so late?" I noticed he took a large step closer.

Now I was paying more attention to him then I was the last time I saw him. Obviously I was occupied, and had caught a glimpse, but I could see I had missed some things, in particular his eyes.

Both eyes were charcoal black. Not sharingan, but they were so dull. There was no highlight or reflection from the light, and they seemed to be glazed over. He didn't even seem to blink, no matter how closely I watched. And any kind of expression he made, his eyes remained dead. Even his smirks wouldn't touch them.

I moved equally closer. "None of your business!" I replied. "Have you come to Konoha to do more damage!?" I was referring to how he'd taken Sakura's life.

"You know that wasn't my fault." Sasuke's voice sounded a bit more serious and angry. He made another forward move.

"Just your hands, sword and motion!" I screamed. "Why!?" This motion that closed the distance between us step by step continued. With everything we threw at each other, we got closer and closer to touching.

"Isn't the reason I'm here obvious?"

I bit my lip then cried, "To kill me!?"

"Guess again."

"Why don't you kill me? Why didn't you!?" I begged. "You say you were going to, and then you'd just leave it!"

"That's none of your business." He was mocking my comment from earlier, but suddenly his face was sad, and his steps got smaller and smaller, as did mine.

"I don't have anymore guesses." I whispered.

"None?" Sasuke was whispering as well.

Our steps continued but our voices didn't. We both stopped simultaneously when there was around six inches between us.

"No."

I watched his hands raise an almost unnoticeable amount from his sides, but they abruptly stopped when he noticed I was looking.

My angry act couldn't work forever.

"So why?" I repeated.

His hands lifted more, but now they were shaking. As if he telepathically asked some question, I shook my head rapidly, though I would have loved to nod more than I would have loved to keep breathing.

His hands dropped, but continued to shake. "I know you won't believe me. That's fine."

The number one best answer in my book would be that he killed his brother. He must have. Why else would he come back?

He continued, clenching and unclenching his hands. "I know you hate me. I know you hate me for trying to kill you. I know you hate me for leaving, and going to Orochimaru. I know you hate me for what I did to Sakura. You must despise me."

I said nothing, just felt my eyes get unstoppably wider.

"But I don't care. I hate me too. I don't even deserve to say this, let alone be here. I know it was stupid to come." Watching him, his dull eyes were closed, and it seemed to make a difference.

"And it's cheesy." Sasuke added, smirking. This time it seemed to reach his whole face, even with shut eyes.

"Bastard." I replied.

"Moron." I knew that was automatic, it was for me too.

I couldn't take it anymore. Something inside was screaming that he had killed Itachi, he had perhaps killed but at least broken away from Orochimaru, and that he was back forever. That I could just explain to him that none of those things he thought were true. That I would have my old Sasuke back. I reached for his hands and ran my fingers against his fists. He didn't react, so I just moved his arms and leaned against the front of him, arms sliding around. It was hard to hold in a smile.

(D:)

"I came here because I can't live without you. I needed to see you. I missed you so much it was driving me insane. Literally." His body remained stiff and his words weren't happy like I thought they would be.

Whatever was building up before suddenly broke. The way he didn't return the contact, and how is voice was so low. Then I considered his words. He missed me, and he needed to see me. Nothing about Itachi, or staying, like I had expected.

Maybe I just wanted it too much. I got too exited. I realized my mistake now.

I reached up to his chest and shoved hard. He moved with absolutely no resistance.

"You're not here to stay!" I shrieked, not posing a question. "You didn't kill him! Orochimaru probably sent you here to kill me! You just wanted-" I stopped talking. He just wanted to see me.

"I told you I didn't deserve it. Orochimaru sent me, but not to do anything. But you're right. I'm leaving."

I couldn't say anything.

"It was selfish. Only for me. But I came for one reason."

Still nothing.

"No matter how you feel, I don't care."

Nothing.

"I-"

I rushed forward and slapped my hand over his mouth. His dull eyes just half glared down at me.

"Don't say those words, I'll pass out." I whispered.

His eyes stopped glaring, they almost got soft, but they were still too dead to tell.

"Sasuke, you don't KNOW Shit. I don't care what you think either." I leaned against his chest again, this time paying attention to the fact that part of his skin was bare. Still ice cold. My current goal was to make sure he didn't go anywhere, to never let him out of my sight, despite the tiredness from earlier trying to take over. "I don't hate you. I don't hate you for trying to kill me, I'm more angry at you for not telling me why, but I feel like I'll never know. I don't hate you for leaving, I hate who you left to. I hate who you're trying to kill even more, so I understand. I don't even hate you for killing Sakura, Yamato told me. It's not your fault. I don't blame you. I was just angry when it happened. I didn't understand."

Sasuke still didn't return my embrace, but his whole body was shaking hard. It almost shook me too.

"Cheesy, yes." More mocking. "But true. Sadly, I love you doesn't cover it. You're my other half."

I felt his fingertips barely close around my shoulders. He asked the mental question again.

"It's fine." I replied out loud. I wouldn't let him leave.

He didn't go fast or slow, he moved at the perfect pace. He wrapped his arms around my waist and shifted me so my entire body was against his. My head fit perfectly underneath his chin, his head resting on top of mine. My other half.

"Hn. You adorable moron." He whispered.

"Yeah, you gorgeous bastard."

* * *

I probably just failed at SasuNaru, which has shamed me.


	16. Sasuke

The writers block was HORRIBLE. I swear, I had this open all the time for writing, but just couldn't!

M, if you're worried about the F word.

* * *

Why am I so fucking selfish?

I shouldn't have come. I should have just killed Orochimaru and went on with the life I chose. The things I wanted and still want to fulfill.

Then I decided to do what Orochimaru said, and for my own benefit, not Naruto's, come to Konoha. I didn't even take into consideration that if something like what was happening now happened, that I would only be hurting Naruto by coming and leaving. Again.

Sure, I hadn't expected this. I had thought Naruto would never ever forgive me, and not only did he forgive me, he doesn't hate me. He still cares. Does more than fucking care. Still loves.

But that didn't make it any better for him, just me. It only made me -leaving him- harder. On him.

Selfish.

I almost asked him why he forgave me for everything. How it was possible to not hate me. I hate myself. But I decided against it, because I didn't want to know the answer yet. It would only make me more disgusted.

"I kept your house clean." I heard, slightly muffled from below me.

I couldn't think of an answer. Thank you was unfitting, and besides that, not good enough.

"And Sakura, you'll be surprised…" He went on talking like noting had changed, and I had never gone. "She had it for me, not you!"

I stayed quiet for a moment, then couldn't resist the urge to act the same. "Hn, that was a little obvious, last I saw you two."

"Jealous?" He suddenly sounded zealous.

"Ha ha." I answered sarcastically. "Jealous over her?"

"Me, not you!" Naruto repeated.

"A First." I couldn't hold in a smirk.

He made a "hmph," sound.

Since things had suddenly lightened up, and I had awhile, I decided to ask something else that had been bugging me.

"When did Sai come in?"

I could tell he almost answered, but asked another question first. "How'd you know his name?"

"That Jounin addressed him after you lost it." I answered, recalling the moment when the same boy I was holding was demonized, and lunging for me.

"Right." It sounded like he was remembering too, but he left it alone. "Well, missions have to be carried out in groups of four. Kakashi was in the hospital at the time, and you-" He didn't bother to finish the sentence.

"So he's a replacement." I replied.

"Not a replacement," He corrected, emphasis on not. "He's just a new teammate."

"Haven't you noticed-"

"Huh?"

"Never mind." I shook my head against his. Mentioning that Sai seemed to worship the ground Naruto walked on didn't seem like a great idea. And I could only assume that from the way Sai looked at him.

"Hey, want to see your house? I kept it clean and everything!" Naruto offered.

Then suddenly it hit me.

This line, and the conversation before when Naruto pretended everything was alright, was his sad attempt to keep me here. My self disgust suddenly multiplied, though I couldn't keep it in anymore.

"Naruto, I'm not staying."

He said nothing, but shifted his body so he was holding on tighter, like a threat.

"Naruto." I growled again.

He twisted some of my shirt in his fists. "See?" He whispered. "I want Sasuke back. Not you. He was just here." His voice was a mixture of rage, hysteria, and softness altogether.

"You sure know how to make people feel guilty." I muttered.

That earned me a swift punch in the chest. "Why can't you stay here, and be you again?! Are you really that dependant on Orochimaru?!"

"Not anymore." I replied. "But that's not why."

"Then why can't you just be Sasuke!?" He pulled away slightly to distance us, and looked up at me. Our arms were still somewhat on the other.

It took me awhile to answer. I had to consider the best way to word it. "The Sasuke you're talking about isn't good enough." For a moment, Naruto didn't change, then slowly his face returned to impassive, though not as much as mine.

"He's not strong enough to kill Itachi. I am." If I hadn't been so serious, I would have found it funny I was referring to myself as two separate people.

Naruto opened his mouth slightly to say something, but we both stopped moving at the same time. Something snapped in the bushes to the right of us.

* * *

Shooorrtt...But hopefully the next one will be quicker.


	17. Surprise!

Unfortunately, I was on vaction for five days, and when I got home, the first thing I thought was, "OMG, my fanfiction." Then I realized my animal crossing probably had a lot of freaking weeds. Ignore me...

SCHOOL D: It's going to make updates slow. Again.

And...This sequel will either be really long, or it will have a third part. Then the third part won't be long...No, I'll fit it all in this. Let's just say it will be almost double the length of the first part.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing!?" I growled, glaring daggers at the one who had snuck up on us. And really, what the hell was Sai doing at almost two in the morning, at my old trainning grounds? Did he somehow magically know I was out here, and that Sasuke had come back? Was that just my luck?

"I should be asking you that." His eyes flickered from me to Sasuke, and lingered on him. I'm sure Sasuke's eyes were making similar movements. "I've been looking everywhere for you." He was referring to me but still watching Sasuke. "Lady Hokage wants you under ANBU protection."

"Wha-? Why?" I stuttered.

"There's an emergency." Sai replied.

Sasuke's voice returned to flat and emotionless. "I'm not putting anyone in danger."

"I suppose you're an emergency too, but I'm talking about something else."

Something besides slight hostility was behind Sai's eyes. It was the same dark look I had barely got a glimpse of when Yamato showed it. Like Yamato had known something I didn't, and Sai knew it too. I turned to Sasuke, and just by looking you could tell he was in on it.

Then I realized it was about him. Yamato had given me the strange look when I declared I wasn't giving up on Sasuke. Sai was showing it after saying, 'I suppose you're an emergency too.'

There was something about Sasuke that they knew and I didn't. I'm kept in the dark about things a lot, and it sucks.

"What's the emergency?! Should we hurry?" I asked, letting the thoughts return to the back of my head.

"Not necessarily…" Sai wouldn't take his eyes away from Sasuke.

"Well?" Sasuke growled.

Sai finally loosened up. "I don't know why it's so horrible, but apparently it's freaked the Hokage. A shadowy figure in a black cloak with red clouds is-"

All I needed to hear was shadowy figure before I knew exactly what he was talking about, and Sasuke figured it out at Sai's last words.

"What!?" Sasuke was suddenly vicious. "Have they seen his face!?"

"That isn't any of your business, missing ninja." Sai's creepy grin spread across his face, and Sasuke reached behind him to touch the handle of his sword.

"Knock it off, both of you!" I growled. "There's more than just him, it could be anyone from Akatsuki."

"Why is Lady Hokage so worried?" Sai asked, while Sasuke continued to fume.

"They're after me." I replied, and suddenly the faded fear of being captured and extracted returned. "You've seen the power."

Sai nodded. "They've only been spotted. They could be anywhere right now, but Hokage has all of the village-and it's surrounding counterparts- locked in and down. ANBU are everywhere. I don't think we have to do much about it yet."

"All this over me." I muttered, then turned. "Sasuke?"

"What?" He still sounded infuriated, there being a chance that Itachi was here.

"If you're going to leave, do it now." The words barely got up, and I'm sure they came out with different levels of self control. I never expected myself to say anything like that to him, let alone under these circumstances.

He noticed, and he gave me a half good answer. "There's no point in going away if my destination is here. I'm not going anywhere, not yet."

'I won't let you go ever,' was hard to restrain. I would have been latched on to him and keeping him from so much as moving if Sai hadn't been around, and we weren't under the circumstances we were now.

"Naruto, you should probably go to Lady Hokage. Sasuke, I'd stay hidden out here, and keep watch for the figure."

"Can't he come?"

"No." Sai replied, and Sasuke nodded. It was that thing I didn't know about again.

"Hey." Sasuke's voice stopped me in mid-step, and I turned around to look at him. He reached forward and ran his fingers through my hair. I could have jumped him. "Don't do anything stupid, okay?"

The old Sasuke seemed to come through the exterior when I needed him. "Same to you." I whispered.

Walking away from Sasuke was like walking away from an oppositely polarized magnet. I had my chance to never let him out of my sight, to hold on forever, and to make sure he never left the village again. Now I just had to hope that he would stay until he found out who was underneath the cloak.

* * *

"Damn it, there you are!" Tsunade slammed her hands down on her desk. "I send the whole village into lockdown to keep you safe, and your outside of it at your training grounds!"

"You think I can predict when Akatsuki is going to come after me? It's only one." Sai and I stood before her. There was a slight scent of alcohol in the room. Tsunade was pissed, but I knew it was mostly an act, she was just overly worried about me. I'm one of the few people on earth she has a soft spot for.

"One that we've seen. There could be more." She corrected me. "What could you possibly have been doing down there at nearly three AM?"

"What are you doing AWAKE at three AM?" I retorted, avoiding the topic of Sasuke.

"One of my night guard rudely woke me up to tell me!" She growled.

"Lady Hokage?" Sai asked hesitantly, raising his hand slightly.

"What?" She snapped.

"What do you propose we do now?"

She sighed. "Wait. When the man- or woman, for that matter- is spotted again, I'll send an ANBU unit to see if they can be killed. Naturally, we want to avoid casualties to the common folk, and our ninja."

We both nodded.

__

I suppose you were right to worry.

Why do you have to be inside ME? Why can't you be inside…like…Uh…

Exactly.

"Naruto?" Tsunade added.

"Eh?"

"You're not to leave this building." She ordered. "Sai, report to your Root squad."

"Right." In a flash, he was gone.

She sighed again, head slumping down in exasperation. "All this for you, kid."

"I said the same thing."

Sorry Tsunade, but the moment you're gone, I'm going to perfect my breaking-in-and-out-through-window-skills.

It wasn't the getting out of the window that was hard. Tsunade left shortly after Sai, Shizune needed her for something. I assumed she didn't think I would want to get out, because she didn't know Sasuke was a factor. The window was a piece of cake to break, and discreet.

The hard part, was once I was sitting in the window sill, I could see ANBU everywhere. I guess that was my protection, around the perimeter. I thought about getting on the roof, then reaching the ground from there, or perhaps staying on the rooftops. Would I be seen?

It was definitely worth it. The window was within chakra enforced leaping distance to the roof. Trying to land smoothly and quietly, I attempted the jump.

"Mph-"

"Shhh!"

The moment my feet- No, toes, hit the roof, I had someone clamping their hand over my mouth, and pinning me against them so I couldn't move. Are you freaking kidding me? What am I? A girl? I would have known if it was Akatsuki, I would have seen the cloak when I looked down. It wasn't them.

I looked down carefully at the guards, and they seemed suspicious, though they let it go and relaxed again. I'm sure my captor was doing the same. Oh right.

I was about to rip away, but the hand on my mouth let go, and rose one finger in a universal sign for quiet.

I knew who it was just by the black fingerless gloves. I would have groaned, but that would have got us discovered.

Sai looked around once more before leaping off the roof onto the railing of the tower, and then to the ground using random ledges, hidden from the guards. He let me go, and we ran somewhere we wouldn't be heard.

"Aren't you supposed to be underground?" I hissed, still keeping my voice low.

"That's where I'm supposed to be." Sai grinned. "I like to break rules sometimes."

"What were you doing up there?" I ignored his usual cockiness.

"Well, I hoped you were smart enough to go up there, and you did. I was waiting for you." He replied.

"Why!?"

"I'm not slow. I knew you would want to get out. But what are you planning?"

"I'm-" Good question. So long as the plan involved me -even if it meant kicking his ass- keeping Sasuke within this village, I was happy. "I want to find out who's here for me. Before Sasuke does."

"Can I help?"

"You don't have a choice. You screwed yourself over when you pulled that little stunt on the roof."

"You smelled good."

"Yeah, well, you smell terrible. Can we find them now?"

Sai nodded.

Flashback

__

"Haven't you noticed-"

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

End

I do now.

* * *

Sai really REALLY Likes to suprise people. He suprised Naruto three times in this one chapter. 


	18. Reality

Chapter is split into Sasuke and Naruto's views.

UGH. School is seriously evil. Sorry I take forever to update. My other Fanfiction is going good, but I'm going to try and get a decent chunk done before I post.

* * *

I decided not to stay in one place for long, assuming the lookout guard and the ground guard I had knocked out to get in would be waking up soon. Now I was somewhat out of the way, but I still wanted to move. Reason being, I had to find out if Itachi was here.

The thought of Itachi enraged me to no end, but the thought of Itachi taking away - basically - Naruto's life made me beyond that. If that was possible. I was glad for my self control, or else Konoha would be losing some trees. Or whatever happened to be sturdy enough to take it.

At first I walked into town, keeping hidden easily. A few lights were on inside houses, and I wondered why- so late. Then I realized the noise must have woken some people, and they were probably horrified. Even when I got further in, and I saw small units of ANBU guard the streets, I stayed unnoticed, simply keeping to the shadows. If the Akatsuki member was any good, I wouldn't be able to see them either.

Looking seemed to get more and more pointless as I circled Konoha slowly. I had gone around most of the streets at a normal pace once already.

"Sasuke?"

I froze, and almost moved again to get away, but stopped. Who could it be that I couldn't take out if necessary? Or keep them quiet about me with threats?

I turned, keeping my face blank, but that trick didn't work either when I saw who it was. My mental trainning was going down the drain with all of this exposure to people I loved.

"Considering my position and your position, I suggest you answer my questions or I'll kill you." Even though I couldn't see his expression, I assumed it hostile. That made him even more familiar for me.

I suppose the hostility was necessary. Kakashi was a Jounin, and I was a criminal. I had never, ever, been very close to Kakashi, but he had been the only adult I ever had when I was young. Still, it felt pathetic when the words hurt. There was no such relief or amazement at my being here, just duty.

"I'll answer before you even ask." I murmured, dropping the challenge of keeping my face straight altogether. "I'm not here to hurt or kill anyone, especially not Naruto." Our voices stayed low and we stayed in the shadows, avoiding the guards.

His one eye revealed slight surprise, then resumed it's scowl. "Then what are you doing here? You have three seconds to answer. Two…Thr-"

"I originally came here to see him."

I barely caught the next display of surprise. "Then what's your purpose now? Two…"

"The same it's always been."

Kakashi didn't ask anything else. He didn't lose his tense, and he was wise to. But he did lose his urgency and anger. He seemed calm, maybe a little sad. But that was only what I could see from one eye's expression. "I don't want to arrest you."

"Ha ha." I replied, almost saddened myself. "I would arrest me."

"Have you already seen Naruto?" He asked quietly.

"More than seen."

Kakashi, very carefully, dropped his guard. "He's missing."

"What do you mean, missing? I saw him less than a half an hour ago." I replied urgently.

"He had plans of his own, he snuck out of the tower. Apparently, anyway. What he's doing, what he plans on doing, or where he is, we have no idea." Kakashi breathed. "But I have a theory."

I remained silent.

"You must already know. If the person under the hat and cloak is your brother," He paused, letting me seethe. "Naruto will do anything to make sure you don't fight him."

With a slight hitch of breath, I realized that was right on target. I also realized Sai was probably in on it. By anything, Kakashi meant that Naruto would go with him. To try and protect me from myself. The wrong thing to protect.

"I'll find him first. I won't let anyone-"

"Sasuke."

I stopped, returning to the present.

"It's against my code to let you move from that spot." In other words, I was a criminal. He had to either restrain me or kill me, or lose his title if this meeting was discovered.

I breathed out, and looked him in the eyes, dead on. "If you promise not to breathe a word to anyone that I was here, I'll make keeping Naruto- and anyone innocent I can- safe, my priority. For now."

Kakashi just stared. "For now."

"For now." I agreed, restraining my emotions again. By, 'for now,' he meant that I would have to face my punishment someday. For me, it meant that Itachi would be my priority, so long as Naruto was safe.

And as quick as we had discovered each other, we departed. To the naked eye, it would have seemed like we disappeared into thin air we were so quick.

I couldn't blame Kakashi, or Konoha for the required punishment. It was my choice to leave in the first place, and I didn't expect anyone's sympathy. I just never thought that I would have to deal with this, because I never saw myself coming back when I left.

(Naruto)

"With our luck, they got tired of looking for me and left already." I growled quietly. We had already been around Konoha plenty of times, Sai following behind me like a lost puppy.

"I really doubt it." Sai replied.

I had always considered Sai to be strictly, just a pervert. Especially since the almost incident in Yamato's makeshift house. Maybe that was all this was. This attachment to me. We had only known each other for a short time, so I had good reason to think so.

Then suddenly it hit me like a bullet to the head. I must have been really fucking easy to love. To an extreme extent. Between Sasuke, Sakura, and Sai, and the maternal and paternal affection from people like Iruka, Kakashi, Grandma Tsunade, and Pervy Sage, it seemed like people must have naturally wanted to care for me. Which I really didn't mind at all, aside from the creepiness of Sai, but even that made me feel special. Anyone would feel special when they learned someone else loved them, but it was especially strange in my case. I was in all literality, a monster. Or at least, I was carrying one. I still have moderate nightmares and memories of times when I was all alone in the world, beaten and yelled at for reasons I could never grasp, but grasp now. It makes me wonder how many people can look past what you are, and base their judgments on who you are. Or, out of the people that know what I am, how many of them would be willing to accept me if they knew me?

Even Sai had never mentioned a thing about he fox. About that negative, horrifying energy that leaked from my body and destroyed miles and miles of land. He was another person. One who just saw me.

__

Kyubbi, don't go getting the impression I hate you.

I'd torture you from the inside out. You better not hate me, considering all I do for you.

You do care about me, huh?

Considering we've had a mental link since you were oh say, seven, I've been with you since birth, and most importantly, you feed our body, you would grown on your carrier too.

Even the god damned fox inside me loves me.

Creepy boy is still waiting for you to answer.

Right.

I sighed at Kyubbi's denial, then answered Sai. "I know. But I think I know how to draw them out. I have to go somewhere where I'm unprotected, and you have to disappear."

"I'm staying close." He replied sternly.

"Then they won't come. I'll go outside of the gates, so you know where I am. At least go to the tower." I ordered.

Sai looked reluctant, but finally nodded. "What do you plan to do when they find you?"

"It depends on who it is, and it's my business." If the invader was Itachi, I'd do anything he wanted, so long as Sasuke didn't so much as see him. Even if my attempts were in vain. If Sasuke came in contact with him, it could mean his life, and I wanted him here, alive.

Sai's feet stayed glued to the ground, then he half grinned. "You haven't gotten any sleep tonight, have you?"

"Kyubbi has a back up supply of stamina." I replied, trying to smile back and failing. "I'm going."

He nodded again, and we both started running in opposite directions.

As if to ease myself, I imagined Sasuke and I, with Sakura as well. I imagined Sakura was still alive, Sasuke had never left to serve Orochimaru, and his family had never been slaughtered. I even imagined being without Kyubbi. Never having the dooming demon sealed inside me. Everything was perfect. Sasuke and I were in love, and helping Sakura woman up to her crushes. We performed all of our missions together, and always had each others backs. I imagined Sasuke, Kakashi, Sakura, Iruka and I all sitting in Ichiraku's, me scrambling for money, and in the end having Sasuke pay for it all. I imagined Sasuke and Sakura and I waiting for Kakashi on a hot day. Then I visualized what would happen when he finally got there, and we could yell at him, with the usual accusations of being late. I ran through as many scenarios as I could, all perfect. I even started incorporating Sai. But most importantly, I imagined Sasuke and I with each other. With our use to be perfect balance of lovers, best friends, brothers and rivals.

I knew that bond still existed, but reality was cruel, and setting in quickly.

Sakura was dead, Sasuke's family was massacred, and I did have a demon trapped inside me. Sakura wasn't magically coming back to life, Sasuke wasn't going to give up his revenge on any circumstances, and I wasn't going to be rid of Kyubbi without losing my life.

Reality.


	19. Competition

EdSpikeSesshyGirl, you are god. Credit to her for some of the coming plot. I didn't use all of the ideas, (I took advantage of most :D) but thanks so much for the help.

* * *

It seemed as though morning was already approaching, and by morning, I meant light. It was probably around four, and the tiniest line of dull light could be seen on the horizon. The small crescent that was the moon had disappeared, sunk to the other end of the sky for the day.

I had until tonight, and then Orochimaru would be expecting me to head back. I hoped he hadn't planned on me departing any earlier, not that I knew if I would go back or not, at this point.

Sleep sounded wonderful, for once. Normally I hated sleeping. Even if I found my brother tonight, I would have to control myself. I'd lose in my slightly drowsy state, without question. Getting myself killed was not on the agenda, not with all the things I still had left to do. I didn't even have the weapons or materials I envisioned using with me.

"Hello, missing ninja."

I had only heard the guy speak…maybe twice, but his voice seemed to get stuck in your head. Annoying. Not Naruto annoying, either. The bad kind.

Saying nothing, I turned on Sai. Currently, I was standing on the lowest section of the fire escape on the Hokage's tower. Anyone could have walked on the street straight past me, but Sai had obviously stumbled on me, coming to the fire escape as a fluke.

"Why are you in here?" He asked.

Naruto wasn't here to be pissed at me, so I really didn't feel like talking to him. I turned my head, keeping my expression stoic against his disgusting grin. It didn't bother me a bit that he had found me. He looked like a simple kill, and all I really had to worry about was Naruto, not what this creep did.

"What does Naruto get out of you?" He wondered, shaking his head.

"I've been wondering the same thing about you." That one made it hard to keep silent. I still had a personality behind my mask.

"You know what he's planning, don't you? He'll give himself up for your sake, and perhaps the village's sake, too."

I half nodded, then quickly flicked my head towards him. "You know that's what he's doing? Really know?"

"He went outside the gates some odd minutes ago, where he was unprotected."

After the word gates, I was moving. I leapt of the railing of the suspended stairs and to the ground. I heard Sai's feet hit half a second after mine. "There's something I wanted to ask first."

I didn't grace him with stopping, so he followed me. "How long do you think Naruto will put up with you?"

I almost stopped, considering the question. "What are you talking about?" I tried to sound like I didn't care.

"I guess that isn't the right way to put it." His pace quickened so he was nearly matching me. Neither of us had to consider or plan out what we were doing. It was simple. Our drive was keeping Naruto safe. Then I started to wonder why he waited for me before he tried to go after him. It was probably so it looked like I had gone against what Naruto wanted, not him.

"It seems wrong to continue wasting your life away for you deranged brother, when you love Naruto so much, and he'd give up anything to keep you here and alive."

"No one said I was going to die." I tried to avoid answering the rest of his statement. It probably would have hurt less if he had slapped me, over that.

"So even if you live, and come back, you think you'll escape the death penalty with everything you've done?"

He was hitting every nail on the coffin, dead on. "Then what difference does it make? Even if I stop now, The Council will still kill me."

"No one said you had to come back." He was trying to mock me.

I had only gone there once. There was another option, but I had immediately discarded the idea because it would ruin whatever life Naruto had ahead of him. If I was to kill Itachi, I could remain a missing ninja, and never come back to Konoha. The thought was maybe I could take Naruto with me.

It was out of the question, even on my terms. It would make Naruto a missing ninja as well, and besides that, he had a life in Konoha. He had Iruka, Kakashi, and his memories of things like Sakura, and the missions and places we met when we were kids. Not to mention an obvious goal. If he were to come with me, he'd have to leave this place, and everything in it. Permanently.

But I had a feeling that wasn't what Sai was referring to.

"Are you saying I give up on Naruto completely, die, and leave him for-with you?" I didn't often stutter. I was talking much too quickly, and without thinking.

I could almost hear the grin in his words, even though I couldn't see him. "I didn't leave him for a Sanin pedophile."

I dropped and forgot everything else for a split second. I turned in mid run, took Sai by surprise and made him freeze, and squeezed his windpipe with both hands, precise as a snake. I lifted him slightly off of his feet. His hands flew up in a vain attempt to rip mine away. He couldn't even gasp and sputter, there was no chance of any oxygen coming in or out. I held him like this for a few seconds, then dropped him. He stumbled, barely avoiding hitting the ground. I never normally fought like that, but it was in the moment.

Nothing else was said. Nothing else needed to be said. I didn't think much either. I was jut blinded by my sudden desire to beat Sai out, even if it wasn't necessary for Naruto.

(Naruto)

__

Kit. You're still in pajama pants.

No way, really?

What do you have on you?

You.

On, not in. What do you have to fight?

Not much of anything. I hope I don't have to. If worse comes to worse, I have you, like I said.

What are you planning? I'm only getting snippets.

I'm not sure. I'm trying to keep the main pieces of my plan out of your head.

…

Waiting and searching seemed to be happening a lot tonight. Currently, it was waiting. I was trying to look calm, unthreatening, and off guard, but I was ready for anything inside my head. I was suddenly worried, and -vainly- regretting my plan.

Worst case scenario, the intruder isn't Itachi, and I get killed. Joy.

Okay scenario. The intruder isn't Itachi, but I don't get killed. That was just okay, because Itachi would still be alive and Sasuke would leave to go after him. I would live, but that was hardly worth it.

Best case scenario, The intruder was Itachi, and I could go with him to keep Sasuke guessing and away from him. Then hope to hell I get saved.

I recalled the first time I met Itachi with slight disgust. His outer demeanor and personality had been enough to make anyone believe he had massacred his whole family. That day, he hadn't seemed interested in Sasuke at all.

But when he pretended to be me, he hadn't known Sakura and I would be there, so his original intentions must have been for Sasuke. I haven't the slightest clue what they actually were, but I began to wonder. Maybe Sakura's death was Sakura's fault. Like Itachi hadn't been planning it, and neither had Sasuke. Suddenly it was obvious. He wouldn't have known we were there, and there was no reason he would have wanted to murder Sakura. He hadn't even laid eyes on her before. So, really, Sakura's death couldn't be blamed on Itachi, as much as I wanted to blame SOMEONE for it.

I couldn't understand why Itachi would have been there at all, and why he even cared about Sasuke in the first place.

My thinking was cut short. I took a deep breath and tried to remember I was doing something noble, and that I could get away if I tired.

_Kit, you can consider anything you eat thrown up for as long as you live after this. Unless you don't live long enough to eat._

Short again. Next chapter will be longer, and way better than this.


	20. Impulse

Writing this chapter was seriously fun. Why? No Idea.

No spoiler, but this probably isn't what you think it is. This is not Sasuke and Itachi's final encounter, it's just Sasuke being an idiot.

* * *

Daylight seemed to be coming much too quickly, but maybe it was just my imagination. When it got bright enough, it would be too hard to hide in the village.

"He isn't out here." I seethed.

"I don't see any reason why he would use this chance to run off." Sai replied dryly.

"That means they're already gone." If the trees could understand my bottled up anger-and if they could move-they would be running. And so would Sai.

I hadn't naturally sensed any chakra signatures that I knew, besides Sai, so I concentrated. I pushed my senses out as far as I could, and stood stalk still for a few minutes.

I picked up Naruto's. He was either very far away or nearly dead, based on how weak it was. I decided to go with far away, but neither bit of knowledge was comforting. I tried to remember what little Orochimaru had said about the extraction process. I was sure it took five people at least, and he mentioned it could take up to two days. Naruto was fine, just far.

"Are you going back?" I hissed.

"No. I'm following you. So start going." Sai replied. His expression was easier to hear through his speech than to look at.

Without a warning, and trying my best to lose Sai and failing, I bolted off in the direction of Naruto's chakra, pushing said substance into my feet. Hard as I tried, I couldn't lose Sai with all of my darts and turns, so I gave up. It was a waste of energy.

I was trying to picture what we would find when we found Naruto. Hopefully not Itachi. Not Itachi. If Itachi had captured Naruto, I wouldn't be able to restrain myself, seeing him right in front of me. No matter how much I tired to drill that into my head now, it wouldn't work- in the moment. I was always too blinded by rage when I saw him. Heard about him. Thought about him. Like now.

I still had my questions to ask him, aside from slaughtering him.

Naruto's chakra would not get any stronger no matter how much I followed it, so they must have been moving to, away from us. This continued for a few miles, neither of us tiring. I was waiting for just the slightest change in strength…

Then it came. I could feel his chakra without concentrating on it. I didn't bother telling Sai, my sudden increase in speed was warning enough. The environment seemed to blur, and I seemed to forget everything, including Naruto, but not Itachi. I could only assume the person was Itachi. The last thing I thought before I was on top of them was that I had to remain calm. I couldn't let Itachi distract me.

What Sai and I both saw next was that they had stopped, obviously aware we had been following them. There was no mistaking the cloak, but I tore my eyes away from them. They were far enough out of sight that I could look at just Naruto. He wasn't scared, he looked more shocked. Maybe Apprehensive, too.

"You-" Naruto started to protest, hands flying up and eyes darting towards his captor. He must have thought I saw who it was. But I didn't. So long as I didn't look at them I could concentrate. "Can't-" The blonde couldn't form words.

How I managed to not look at them for so long still astounds me. It felt like I we were playing a game.

"Naruto." I tried to be subtle. I tried to motion just barely, to look at him in just the right way to get my message across. Move. But Naruto didn't budge. Even when I sensed Sai doing the same, much less discreetly.

"Go."

I didn't hear the word. I heard the voice, so close to mine. Deep and brooding, but somehow smoother than mine. Maybe 1/16th of an octave higher.

Everything, our surroundings, Sai, Naruto, Everything. It faded to black and I altered my vision to be towards the voice. It was a mistake, but that didn't matter to my conscience. The rationality and the worry faded just like my vision of everything but the man in front of me. The only thing standing in my way of losing all sense but those focused on my brother was about ten yards of space. Ten yards that could easily be cleared with my sword that I now grasped, and a few running steps.

There was nothing, just Itachi, and my mental drive to have my revenge. I couldn't even feel myself move when I did, running at full speed.

Itachi, Itachi, Itachi, Itachi,

Naruto.

Everything in my brain turned back on. I was now seeing Naruto, because he was blocking parts of my sight on Itachi. Now I could focus. I could "hear" the silence now. I could feel my sudden stop of movement, and the air temperature. Most importantly, I could see Naruto, unhesitatingly standing in front of Itachi.

"Don't, Sasuke."

Everything above happened in under a second, and my senses failed all over again with the next second.

I didn't think.

Turning the blade in my hands around, I came forward again and slammed the handle into Naruto's side. He recoiled in pain and fell out of the way of Itachi. Blade now horizontal to him, I sliced, expecting his next move. He seemed to disappear.

Pulling a kunai out from some concealment on my clothes, I turned in the next half second and hurled it. It separated into four, and I was right on. Itachi had been ten or so feet behind me. He dodged these with little movement.

With only a bit more combat, it began to come to me. I wasn't prepared. I wasn't fully rested, and I didn't have the chakra saved up that I would have wanted to. I didn't have the weapons I wanted, or the right amount of them. I barely had anything. As the combat continued, I ran out. My ninja instinct overruled, and I was forced to dodge him. To stay out of the way. I would think he would be doing more to fight me when I was like this, but he didn't. I matched him for quite some time, more of my rational thought returning.

I missed a second. For one second, perhaps less, I couldn't keep up the rhythm of my dodges. Itachi struck, too quickly for me to fight. He didn't strike hard, though. His hand just met my skin and I felt a small burning sensation from foreign chakra, then without warning, lost consciousness.

...So, predictions? :D


	21. Intentions and Innocence

"Naruto." It sounded like Sai was trying to get my attention.

"Mmh?"

"Good, you're conscious again." I vaguely noticed someone was sitting me upright. I felt something solid on my back.

"Huh?" I murmured, still somewhat out of it.

Sai asked, "Does anything hurt?"

I tried to process the words. I got hurt, and I was aware it was a question. I think. "No." But when I shifted so I could sit up more, my hip stung, causing me to cringe. "Okay, a little."

"Broken?"

"Bruise…Maybe. It'll be gone soon." I opened my eyes, and it took me a moment to focus, but when I looked past Sai and saw Sasuke on the ground, I was fully awake and my brain reprocessed the information from before I was hit.

I attempted to get to my feet too quickly. I was fully conscious now, and could feel the pain, centering at my hip and jolting through the matching leg and my upper body. "Crap!" I growled, pressing my hands to my throbbing side.

"Sit, please, you'll make it worse."

"It's just a damn bruise, it's nothing!" I replied.

"It's not nothing when 170 pounds of angry Uchiha slams a piece of metal into your hip." He grumbled, but I ignored him. I half ran and half stumbled towards Sasuke, hands only leaving my hip when I reached him.

"Where's Itachi?" I asked urgently, trying to not think about what I had just learned too hard. I turned Sasuke face up and noted his normal breathing and pulse, pulling his head into my lap.

"Gone. No Idea. They fought for awhile and matched each other, than he struck Sasuke and he ended up like that. Or at least, that's what it looked like. Maybe some kind of technique. He could have hit a vein." Sai replied, dropping to a sit at Sasuke's feet. "What's up with you?"

I pushed Sasuke's inky bangs away from his slightly damp forehead, then looked up. "You mean…"

"What happened?" His face had been absent of his trademark smile for quite awhile now.

I took a deep breath, thinking about what exactly HAD happened. I had been hit with what I was sure was the truth, even if unproven. I could barely even gauge a reaction. I had just woken up from a small coma, AND hadn't had shuteye, besides that. If the words were retold, maybe I could understand what it all meant. "It's a long story."

"We've got awhile." Sai replied, motioning towards Sasuke.

-Flashback-

__

"I won't do a thing. You can capture me, or whatever it is you want to do, just leave." The stunning, unexplainable fear had returned as expected. Maybe it was his eyes, or his aura.

Itachi said nothing. As far as I knew, he was alone. Now there was no one in Konoha, and the people were safe. I thought about asking to confirm that, but thought better of it.

"Well?" I asked, trying to sound brave. How childish. Anyone else, and I would have been fine, no, confident, I'm sure. Maybe the reason I felt so uncomfortable around him was not fear or hate. He was just so unreadable.

His eyes -the only visible part of his face- closed, and I couldn't see him. Then I realized I had been expecting him to move, and I closed my own eyes so I wouldn't be nauseated. When I looked again, he hadn't moved a muscle.

"I'm not taking you to Akatsuki." He clarified, and I'm sure my mouth dropped. "But we have to move somewhere else." His smooth, dark voice was like ice that you could almost feel because you were sensing it so intensely.

Apparently he had been here for me this time, because he never mentioned Sasuke. But what could he possibly want from me, besides Kyubbi? I formed the word 'why,' with my mouth, but there was no volume.

"You don't want my brother showing up, do you?" His tone sounded too sarcastic that time, to fake. Of course, that was nearly impossible to catch, but it was different compared to his usual emotionless tone.

"Do you?" I managed to get that out normally, though I had tried hard to sound skeptical.

"I would rather he didn't." Itachi replied. "Not now." It kind of seemed like we were toying with each other, but for me it was more like trying to. "We must move, or he'll sense you out here."

I nodded, ignoring but not forgetting the now much smaller fear. I was more than willing to physically distance the Uchihas as much as possible.

To my surprise, he didn't push it. He was gone quicker than I could blink, and I was forced to follow him, something that no person should have to voluntarily do. Eventually he had to match my pace because I couldn't keep up with him, and that made my anxiety even worse.

"If you don't desire Sasuke, and you aren't here to drag me to the Akatsuki, what do you want?" It took way too much concentration for one sentence. I was hoping, praying, I could catch him- if one of those things really were his intentions. Not that I would be able to read it on his face.

"You're the closest to him, it's important you know." I attempted to stop, but he continued moving. He must have sensed we were being followed.

"Know what? Why?"

He didn't answer right away, like he was considering what to say. "If you tell Sasuke, and I find out, I'll kill him."

I swallowed, and tried to breathe. I could count on that, for sure, with the way Itachi treats Sasuke like a harmless puppy in battle. Then again, it could just be him messing with me.

"Wha-" I gasped, "What? Why now?"

"He's coming. Sasuke and someone else. I can't tell you everything."

Now every inch of me wanted to know, at least what he could tell me before we were caught. He had came with no threatening intentions, just to tell me something about Sasuke, and in the moment, I would have died to hear it, but it wasn't necessary.

"I did not want to destroy the Uchiha clan. I was ordered."

I retorted much too quickly, forgetting who I was talking to. "What are you talking about?! Who would have-"

"They're catching up. You're too slow. Whether you believe me or not, I'm not finished."

The last two words knocked sense into me. Itachi was not one to piss off. I wished I could run faster, because I'm sure he could. "Tell me."

"Stop trying to keep Sasuke from killing me."

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came.

Itachi was behind me then, and he involuntarily stopped my running. It was too much to have the frightening man behind me, with my back vulnerable. It could have been slipping, but I caught the end of the branch I was last on with my foot before I could fall completely. I half leaped and half dropped to the ground, Itachi already gracefully on his feet. Sasuke and Sai- I assumed- must have caught up. Damn me and my slowness.

Stop trying to keep Sasuke from killing me.

I did not want to destroy the Uchiha clan, I was ordered.

Itachi had come to me- a member of the Akatsuki- and hadn't hurt me or captured me. Despite what had happened back at Orochimaru's, he clearly wasn't after Sasuke, but was trying to make him hate him. He'd come all the way here to tell me to stop trying to keep Sasuke from murdering him, like he wanted to die. He must have known I was trying to 'save' Sasuke, and by doing so, trying to 'stop' his revenge.

If Itachi wanted to be killed- By Sasuke- Then there had to be a reason for it. That much I could believe.

And If he was ORDERED to destroy the Uchiha clan, then really…

Itachi was an innocent man.

If I could believe that.

I was sure I was missing pieces of the puzzle. Like who ordered him to kill the Uchiha's, and why? Or why Sasuke couldn't know any of this. Obviously if he knew and believed this, he would -with much regret in life- stop trying to take revenge on Itachi, whom he thought was a psycho path who killed his family for power.

But he didn't want Sasuke to know, because he WANTED Sasuke to kill him.

I was suddenly horrified at the thought of Sasuke doing that, if Itachi was innocent, and Sasuke didn't know any better.

Sasuke and Sai were already there, I knew, but I was trying to ignore them. For some reason, Sasuke hadn't gone nuts over Itachi yet. I kept my eyes glued to him.

I had missed something Sasuke and Sai had done, and Itachi motioned towards them. "Go."

Then it was all I could do to throw myself- because I knew I was the only one who had a chance of stopping Sasuke- in front of Itachi before Sasuke could rip him apart, not that Itachi would let him anyway.

If Itachi truly was innocent-and even if he didn't need or WANT me to- I would protect him from Sasuke if he couldn't know the truth.

-End Flashback-

I wearily watched Sasuke's sleeping face for any sign of consciousness throughout my retelling. I didn't want him to hear what I was telling Sai. "I can't let Sasuke kill him. I'm not even sure of everything. Those two things were all he said."

Sai had been quiet throughout the entire story, but he answered now. "It seemed unrealistic to me, that someone would massacre not only their own, but their little brother's family for such a simple reason."

I nodded. Now I had to think up some way to stall Sasuke. Itachi threatened to kill him- though it was probably just to scare me - if I told him the truth.

The sun had risen more now, and the village would be 'waking up' normally, but I'm sure most of the villagers were already awake, thanks to the emergency lock in. Tsunade -if not Kakashi, Yamato, and Iruka- were probably having mental breakdowns concerning whether or not the village was safe and the intruder was gone, and where I was.

Besides all of this, I was still tired. Now that the threat was gone and Sasuke and everyone else was safe, the need for sleep got stronger. I'm sure my eyes were drooping horribly, and I could barely hold myself up.

"Sai?" I mumbled.

"Hm?"

"So long as Sasuke's out, we'll need to stay here. I'm going to sleep." It was probably the dumbest thing I had ever said to him, but I could care less. I would get to relax.

"Um, right." He answered, shaking his head. His grin was displayed halfway on his face. "I'll watch for you."

I guided Sasuke's head to the ground and curled up next to him. Sleeping with him was like sleeping with a normal pillow on a blistering hot night. I rolled away from him when I got too cold, and when the side I was on overheated, I could press back against his skin and cool off. Even in sleep, I was plagued by thoughts that all wondered the same thing.

What do I do to stop Sasuke when he wakes up?


	22. Lie

My reviewers have DIED. Seriously. I have ONE, and occasionally a second. D: A little tiny bit of a note for this chapter. Let's just say Naruto and Sai were ready, and had their entire plan laid out before Sasuke woke up, but they _are_ faking it.

* * *

_Wait, Sai, what did you say you saw before Sasuke passed out?_

_I just saw Itachi reach out and strike him - then hold him there for a few moments before…_

_Did you see his eyes?_

_Well…they looked like they were moving._

_Spinning?_

_It kind of looked like that, now that you say it. What does that have to do with anything?_

_…I think…We need to lie. Lie about what happened when Sasuke wakes up._

_What are we going to say?_

_…I'll tell him._

_Then you're going to have to practice. You have to look confident. If he sees a bit of doubt on your face -_

_I know. But -_

_What?_

_I think…I think I'm going to tell him he killed his brother._

_…_

_I'll plan it all out for when he wakes up. You can just sit still and look like you usually do…_

_I don't think it will work._

**The last dream I had that was this vivid and understandable was back when I was thirteen, and still reliving nightmares of my parents -and my relationship with my brother- being murdered. This new dream had my same brother, but no one was being killed. Yet. For now, this wasn't a nightmare. It was a familiar scene being replayed- like most of my dreams- and it was depicting the sweetest memories I had from before the massacre.**

**The memories of my loving, hero like older brother that only existed in memories like these.**

**My mother was there for me when I needed her, and she would comfort me whenever I was upset or hurt. What young boy's first true love wasn't his mother? The Uchiha talent of hiding emotions didn't seem to run in her genetics when she was with me, either. She wasn't stoic, and if anything, she was overprotecting and embarrassing. But that was a given with most mothers. She was better than my father, by all means, who even scolded that love she gave. I knew my father cared about me, but he would never show it to me through action. He thought too much love spoiled children. The only thing he would ever talk to me about was how I had to live up to be as amazing as my brother.**

**But neither held me in high expectations for being anything besides their child. They both looked through me when it came to a future, and to a purpose, or rank. They just saw Itachi.**

**But Itachi saw me.**

**When Itachi was a teenager and I was barely six, he was already a Chunin. He was even accepted into the ANBU black Ops., right before the murder. He was a natural prodigy, and his abilities were beyond all ninja his age before him. He could use the Sharingan when he was eight. He graduated from the academy at nine. He also had the stoic, emotionless attitude my father desired.**

**Accept for when he was around me.**

**All of his free time in his busy, mission-filled life was spent with me. instructing me, teaching me, and playing with me when he didn't have anything new that was basic enough for me to learn. He made fun of me like an older brother naturally would, too. He was kind, and always more than willing to help me, so long as he didn't have work. He showed me smiles that he never showed anyone else, not even our parents. Striving for my fathers approval, Itachi drove me to be as good as he was. I enrolled in the academy. I got perfect grades and pushed ahead of my entire class. My father began noticing me then. He taught me more advanced jutsu, and I practiced until I couldn't move and barely breathe to get them right.**

**All because of Itachi.**

**But he was changing. Gradually, he stopped having time to train me, claiming he was too busy. But he still picked on me, and treated me like he cared. But only me. Within the month, I watched him nearly kill three police chief, right before my eyes. They were accusing him of murdering his best friend Shisui, who had supposedly committed suicide. I heard my father yelling at him at night about missing clan meetings, and avoiding missions, for other 'secret ones' he couldn't talk about.**

**Then he killed everyone, everyone but me, and replayed everything for me with his sharingan. Some special kind of sharingan. That was always the most unbearable part. The part that had me shaking and talking - and sometimes screaming - in my sleep. The sickeningly sweet smell of blood, and the feel of it on my shoulder, stinging from a small cut Itachi made. The faces of my dead mother and father, paler than usual and full of pain, sorrow, and dissatisfaction in life. By the way they were laying in the blood bath, I could tell my father had died first, shielding my mother with his own body. Dreaming within a dream, I remembered imagining what it felt like to have your life partner's bloody body on top of you, protecting you, while your own son was looming ominously above him, ready to slaughter you next.**

**I was sure I made some kind of noise then. I could feel myself lingering towards waking up. Itachi admitted to killing Shisui, as well, which lead me to nearly killing Naruto, believing what he said about gaining the Mangekyo Sharingan.**

**But I already knew all of this. My dream was reminding me of how caring and loving Itachi had been. How much I used to admire and respect him. How important he had been to me. How he'd fooled me, and then taken everything away.**

I woke up instantly. My eyes were open, but I couldn't see anything yet. Too blurry. My dream had been telling me just another reason I wanted to kill him. Not just because he had taken away my parents and my future, but because he had tricked me into believing he actually loved me, then betrayed me. My own brother.

I immediately noticed when I woke up, some out of the ordinary feeling in my head. But it wasn't terrible, it was a lightweight feeling. Like some incredible weight had lifted, and

"Sasuke?"

I sat up immediately, hearing my name, and Naruto's voice.

(Naruto)

I had woken up before Sasuke had, and now Sai was sitting behind me - just as expectantly as I was - propped up slightly on the balls of his feet.

A lie. _Everything_ I was about to tell him was a _lie_. I could have seen myself deliberately lying to him beforehand, if it was for his own good, but not now that I was doing it, and not about something this big. Something this important to him. Something that could really go wrong and backfire in my face. I was still confused, but I had to long that whatever Itachi did to Sasuke at the very end of their little duel would help me better convince Sasuke. I knew Itachi's goal was to be killed by Sasuke - or at least, I was pretty damn sure - but maybe not now, or not yet. I had a feeling, a hunch, or more appropriately a hope that Sasuke wouldn't remember what had happened, and that I could plant my own ideas in his head. Yes, I was going to tell him he _had_ killed his brother, his ultimate goal, desire, ambition, drive. But it hadn't really happened, and if for some reason Sasuke ever found out otherwise, he'd probably detest me like nothing else on earth. The hate wouldn't be comprehendible.

But it was worth it. It would be worth Sasuke's contentment and safety for now. Maybe I was a masochist, but that was really what I wanted most of all, no matter what it entailed. Then, if he never found out the truth, everything would be perfect. It would be a lie, but I was willing to cover it up. The other upside, Itachi - who I truly and wholly believed was innocent, for reasons I couldn't grasp - even against his wishes, wouldn't have to die at Sasuke's hands.

Aside from Sai - or what anyone else would think - I didn't think the plan was insane. I thought it was fantastic. It wasn't a fool proof plan, no. I still had to tell Sasuke and have him believe it, and I had to keep it a secret. But so long as those two things worked, it was a perfect plan. Even if a little far fetched.

Sasuke sat up, and I tried to mentally prepare myself in the instant before he turned. Compose your face. Look relieved that he's awake, with a glimmer of excitement. Try to ignore his confusion, if it really is there. Try and hold back, and not look too, overly exited - that would be a giveaway. Just imagine how you would act if he really had mauled Itachi…

He turned his head towards us, and a fake relief spread - voluntarily - across my face. "Good, you're conscious again!" A small smile, nothing huge. Like you've already gotten over the excitement, but your still reveling in it. I straightened in my sit just a bit more. "How are you feeling?"

"Lost." He murmured. "But amazing at the same time." He turned completely around, still sitting, and rubbed his head as if he was waking up from a voluntary nap that everyone else knew he had taken.

"Lost?" I questioned, trying to look slightly confused. It must've worked.

"What happened? How did I get the consciousness knocked out of me?"

_Yes. _"I almost sighed but restrained - that wasn't part of the act. He had forgotten. Phase one, complete. But that was the easier part, nearly a given. I hoped Sai looked just as convincing and relaxed behind me as I did. Look a little confused, "You don't remember?"

No, not a thing. But I feel so…lightweight." An odd twist, but it was in my favor. He had forgotten, and maybe this strange feeling of his was working to my advantage. What hadItachi done? Sasuke stretched a bit, waking up.

I crawled closer, now attempting to look shocked and confused. "You don't _remember_?" Maybe that was too thick. Maybe stressing the word had made my faking too obvious, but Sasuke looked baffled, and took in everything I said.

"No. I can't remember…I came out here with Sai to find you - " Understanding seemed to take his features, and I thought, terrified, that he had understood. His eyes trailed behind me to Sai, then back. "Thinking I would find Itachi -"

I nearly bit my tongue. Don't blow it, don't blow it…Please. I tried to remember this was keeping him safe, keeping him alive, with me, _here_, before I lost my composure. I was going to lose it if I didn't say _it_. I surprised him slightly, but I leaned forward and slid my arms around his torso, pressing my head to it's familiar spot against his chest. "Sasuke," I sounded happy, and a little like I was telling him something obvious, but the revelation that this could keep him here made my voice clear of doubt.

"You _killed_ Itachi." But my face, carefully hidden against his chest, broke then. It hurt so much to tell this lie.

At first, he was silent, and I dreaded for the worst. I heard Sai's body shift in the dirt - he must have been fearing the same thing. Sasuke's hands lifted up towards his face, and he ignored my embrace. He stared at his palms for what seemed like too long for comfort, then he replied, "I did?"

I mentally took a deep breath. He hadn't denied it. I nodded against his flesh, managing to keep my voice straight. "You're memory of it must have been lost near the end." Something logical.

"I did, didn't I?" He stared at his hands for a few moments longer, then I felt them return my embrace. He sounded sure of himself, with a tad of hysteria and excitement mixed in. His next question nearly tore me into tiny pieces. "Where is he?"

No. No. No. Fuck, _no! _I tried desperately to keep my body from tensing up. To keep from screaming. There was no corpse, no evidence! There weren't even bloodstains on the ground! He'd never believe me if I told him we had already cleaned up, or his body had been obliterated. Even if I told him he had murdered Itachi somewhere else, he'd go looking for his remains and never find them. I'm sure all of those same thoughts filled Sai's head, at nearly the same moment.

I looked up, horrified, at Sasuke's face. But to my utter disbelief, he was starring past Sai and I with a sick, satisfied smile on his face.

It looked so _wrong_.

Then I realized very quickly, that he _was_ seeing Itachi's copse. A Genjutsu. An effect, an illusion made from the lasting impression Itachi's Sharingan technique had on his head. It had worked. He believed me. He saw the proof, unreal as it was.

His expression was so wrong, because if he _had _truly killed Itachi, that would have been his real reaction. He would have been satisfied, happy, exited. Sickeningly so. I had planted the fake belief in his head that he had achieved his goal, his drive in life. His days of power seeking, training, and isolation were over.

And it was all a façade.

_But had you never found out about Itachi's truth, you would have felt the same happiness and relief. Sasuke's live of avenging would be done, and you wouldn't have to fight so hard for him. Kyubbi finished my own thoughts._

_But it isn't true! it's all a lie!_

_B_ut even so, now - if he never knew the truth - everything would be fine again. I would have Sasuke. Sasuke would have me. Our relationship would be normal, and Sasuke's need for revenge would never get in the way.

Even if it was all fake.

But how long would it stay that way, what with our bad luck?


	23. Kiss

Urgh! Can you say, FINALLY?

EVERY TIME I try to write something fluffy and cute, I read it over and it looks like I destroyed the entire fan fiction, and yet when I do post something like this, I get positive feedback on it, and I get the most reviews. Hell, maybe it is good. But it never seems that way to me, maybe its just a self conscious author thing.

I will never ever, ever give up on this story. Ever. No matter how slow the updates get, and no matter how much it begins to suck, I WILL Finish it. It may just take awhile.

Ultimately, it was _over_.

I'd never been so weightless, yet so complete and so whole in my life. It was indescribable, knowing that you had done the one thing you wanted to in life, and the proof was laying bloody right infornt of you. There wasn't regret, there wasn't sorrow. There weren't even any good memories of him, just utter amazement, pride, completion, and happiness. Maybe that wasn't how a sane human being would feel after slaughtering someone, but no one said I was completely sane, either.

Instinctively, my arms curled tighter around the blonde in front of me. The only coherent thought's that were breaking through my achieved revenge involved him. There were a few more - though they seemed minor, now that _this_ was over - problems that I would have to deal with before nothing was in the way of us.

First, Orochimaru. He was a useless tool that had gotten me this far, but he surely wouldn't let me go free. The only option now was to kill him, too. But that wouldn't be any great feat, considering who's life I had just ended. A smirk spread involuntarily across my face, like breathing, blinking, or a heartbeat.

But the harder question was, after Orochimaru, where would I go? This tore my excitement apart. Itachi was dead. Done. But now that Naruto was my focus, my whole life, my everything - I would work just as hard for him as I had for revenge. Naruto's future was in Konoha, and I was a wanted dead criminal in that world. What would I do? If I killed Orochimaru, and since I had killed Itachi, both actual threats to the country, my sentence could be lessened. The Hokage had a soft spot for Naruto, but she did hate me. I'd have to hope.

"Now, what do you do about Orochimaru?" Sai's brain must have worked at the same pace as mine, for Naruto and I both guided our gazes to his words. His sketchbook was closed and rested in his lap, and he stared a bit blankly at us.

"I'll leave for awhile and take care of him." I replied shortly, surprised at the tone of my own my voice. No lifelessness, and no hidden fury. My voice reflected my optimism. I had never, ever, ever felt this perfect. It was almost alien. Maybe a little too strange for comfort.

Naruto clenched his hands just a bit tighter on me, and they didn't loosen. "Then I'll go, too."

"That isn't a bright idea. Lady Hokage is probably pulling her hair out at the moment." Sai threw out, and he was right. Naruto had snuck out of her ordered confinement and hadn't been seen by any villager since then. She was most likely going insane. "Iruka, too." This made Naruto's face soften a bit. If not Tsunade, Iruka was a weakness. Then he turned his head slightly, and gave Sai an "I-thought-you-were-on-my-side" pout.

"It's not like I wouldn't come back." I assured, while attempting to stand, since I hadn't yet. It was easier than I thought, not a bit of weakness. I had expected some. I pulled Naruto up with me, for he didn't show any signs of letting go - much less desiring to.

"I know," Naruto visibly swallowed - worried - and I could have smiled, but I refrained. I would have to get over this. I was on cloud nine, and it was creepy for me, but I couldn't help it. "But you could get hurt, and you wouldn't have any back up."

"I don't think I'm going to have any trouble." The same thought came again. If I had killed Itachi, Orochimaru would be cake. It was like being invincible.

"Couldn't you stay for awhile first, and then go? I want to prove to you that I kept your house ridiculously clean." Naruto looked up, a grin on his face.

Sai answered before I could. "It would be easier if he went first, then came back. Lady Tsunade, much less anyone else in the village wouldn't take him coming back well, considering the lockdown. They think there's some enemy inside of Konoha."

They aren't _in_ Konoha anymore, I thought proudly. They wouldn't be anywhere else ever again. I didn't begin to process the fact that Sai was trying to get rid of me, even if subtly.

Naruto had no response. His eyes had darkened and the corners of his lips were drawn down. I began to wonder if he truly knew what Konoha would do when the got a hold of me. He looked somewhat confused, like he didn't understand why I had to avoid the place. Didn't he? He had never shown concern about my death sentence before…

He didn't _know_?

I almost blurted something out about it, but restrained. If I said something now, I'd have to explain the entire thing, he'd throw a fit, and I certainly wouldn't get to Orochimaru as easily as I had hoped. I'd have to put it off until after Orochimaru was out of the way. Then again, maybe he did know what my future penalties were, but tried to cheerfully avoid them. That was like him. "He's expecting me back anyway. He'll be unprepared if I do it now."

Naruto mumbled an incoherent 'yes' response, and finally let go.

"Naruto," Sai addressed him and he turned. "I'm going to go back into the village to tell Tsunade your untouched and the intruder has been killed." He glanced over at me and I smirked again, like my heartbeat. "That way you start with some solace before you have to face her."

Naruto cringed. "Guess I'll still have to make up an excuse as to why I broke her window and escaped, huh?"

It was much lighter now, seven or eight in the morning, and the sunlight had just begun to break through the think flora of Konoha's outskirts. I noted it was a little windy now, picking up as time went on. I was unconsciously moving my bangs out of my eyes with scarcely noticeable flicks of my head. The temperature was slowly rising, despite the wind, and chirps and rustles became more frequent in our environment. The sounds of the village that probably could have been heard to the adept ear didn't come, since everyone was still bolted inside their homes.

To top everything off, Naruto was _still_ in pajama pants.

"I'm going to give Lady Tsunade the clear," Sai murmured, and he performed a hand seal instead of walking. He disappeared moments after. He wasn't as efficient as Kakashi - was anyone? - when it came to teleportation. It took him longer to complete.

More wind lashed through the trees, and even Naruto's short blonde hair blew everywhere. He turned away from me and crossed his arms, probably to hide his gripping fists. "Just like that? You have to leave again?"

"No," The excitement was gone, now my own vocals were smooth and softer. "I'm not leaving. Just making a quick trip." I knew he was pissed, mainly about how I had just slaughtered Itachi and couldn't stay - probably, though he may childishly deny that - but maybe for some other reason.

"Couldn't you do that later?"

" - And go into the village _now_?" Though there were back ways to my former living district, and I'm sure I could find them.

"Why couldn't you?" It sounded like he was challenging me. Challenging what? Did he not understand that my inescapable punishment for what I had done - becoming a missing ninja in general, and joining Orochimaru, of all people - was execution? The thought didn't scare me - much - but I knew it could possibly bring him to ripping off the council members' torsos from their lower halves.

"Would you like a list?" Now was the worst time to say anything about it. Hell, I didn't want to have to say it all. Someone else would tell him. Someone else should have _already_ told him.

"I know, now the village is under some strange circumstances, but you could sneak in, couldn't you?" He ignored my sarcasm, something only he really could do lightly.

"Then I'd have to sneak back out. What would Saku-" I choked. What a slip. I hesitated before I went on, but Naruto didn't seem fazed, at least not from behind. "What would Kakashi, or Tsunade, or Iruka think if you were with some shady person who didn't want his face revealed?"

He spun on his heels, starring straight at me. "I wouldn't show them? Obviously." He was ready to verbally fight me on the matter. The Sakura slip must have irked him a little, as well.

"So you'd just keep me a secret _forever_? _That_ would work." I growled somewhat, mordantly. Naturally and instinctively, I would fight back. Without fail.

"Not forever. Just until you killed Orochimaru and things settled down." I relived what happened some odd hours ago. However, this time there would have to be a winner and a loser. Naruto took one stride towards me, fists clenched like he would deck me at any moment.

Some involuntary force - gravity, magnetism, I wasn't sure - made me mirror him, without the fists. I had to keep the death sentence out of the verbal abuse, that was vital, but I could mention a consequence. Subtly. "What about my punishments from the village? Should I hide from them?"

"Not like they're gonna _kill_ you or anything. Prison? You can handle that. You spent nearly three years in Orochimaru's hellhole. It would be like Eden." Another stride. We had started too near to begin with.

I mirrored. Damn, no rebuttal. I couldn't pull the death condemnation. Was he faking not knowing that, simply to win the argument? I tried something to lighten him up. "You're right. No more obnoxious Kabuto." I smirked.

"Is that all you've got?" He clenched his fists open and shut. He had promptly and unpredictably picked up on the fact I couldn't argue, and that he was victorious, but his face didn't change. He was starring almost blankly - creepy for him - at me. He'd won.

"Whether I've got anything to argue or not, my mind is made up." I stated flatly. Then, In less than a second, infuriation flickered across his expression, and he threw his fist at my face. My hand instinctively flew up and grabbed his wrist, stopping the punch when it was inches away. He brought his other fist up just as quickly. I gripped that one in response, and pinned both of his wrists against his sides. At first he just glared up at me, and didn't try to retaliate. Then my hands met with resistance, and he forced his arms back up. I pushed back harder against his wrists in response, and was suddenly matched. Our arms were both pushing against each other, neither moving, the law of surface energy in action. I was just a little too shocked at being equaled. This continued for a while, both of us growling and grunting and trying to gain more arm span on the other, all the while bracing our feet that were scrambling for recess on the ground.

Finally, Naruto relaxed his force and his hands came down, dragging mine along. "If you don't come back the _moment_ you're done with him, I will _maul_ you! I'll hunt your miserable ass down to the ends of the earth, then I'll beat you into the next dimension, even if I have to use Kyubbi to do it! Do you understand that?!" He snarled slightly under his breath, but it was to veil being disappointed, I could tell. His eyebrows were turned up and his irises were liquefied. I knew he had relaxed completely when he pressed his head against it's usual place on my front. I fixated my arms around his hips, and his in turn, immediately locked around my neck and shoulders. We melted together, no room to move left in between.

"I figured _way_ worse," I murmured, smiling, moments after inhaling Naruto's somehow new smell. I felt like I could stand in the same position without moving for the rest of my life, or do more. "That's almost comforting."

Naruto's hands fisted up the white fabric at the back of my shirt, and it tightened against my back. "You're an ass." He breathed.

I smirked and whispered, "Thanks," back.

The minutes that passed by were almost good enough to make up for the two years time we couldn't get back. Naruto's warmth from sleeping seemed to seep out of him and radiate, and the wind didn't seem to exist. It felt normal again to have something living and breathing that I cared about taking up space in my arms.

Living -

Naruto's fingers caressed the spots on my back that they reached.

Breathing -

I was deaf suddenly to everything but the soft, light sound in my ears.

I unconsciously drew circles on the small of his back with my forefinger. I was willing to wait until he'd let go over stopping this myself - I didn't have the heart or the want to at the moment - But I was willing to end it if I could get what suddenly came over me. Naruto's arms stayed deadlocked around my shoulders the entire time. I left one arm around him, but used the other to move him away a few inches. I traced my working forefinger up his stomach then chest - all the way up until I could grip his chin with the attached hand. I tilted his head up just slightly and locked eyes with him.

Beautiful, enticing, sapphire eyes. "You've got to be kidding." Naruto choked.

"No," I mouthed, and using my arm still around him, pulled us back together. He looked apprehensive at first, but after a few moments of the gaze, one of his hands worked it's way up the nape of my neck, then rested there, and it felt like that patch of skin was already heating up. His other hand groped at the front of my shirt, tugging the white fabric. Keeping my gentle grip on his chin, I closed the distance of centimeters that was left. First I pressed my lips against his cheek, then - much more slowly - to his mouth.

Everything had come so naturally.

In the beginning, we were completely and totally still. Then Naruto's other hand followed the first one, and he pushed against my head just a bit. We pulled apart a fraction of a centimeter's distance and came back, lips working and moving in synch. After a while of this, I paused and sucked on his lower lip, without thinking about it. He tugged my hair just slightly, and then, a few painfully anticipated moments later, opened his mouth. I pushed my tongue inside, and his hands tightened almost painfully in my hair, forcing me closer. Naruto mewled inaudibly when our tongues slid across each other, and even more so when I invaded every place I could get to. Eventually, he worked against me, tongues twisting and pushing at each other.

Taste? Honestly? Ramen and Morning breath. Really. But there was a sort of flavor that got past those that was unnamable to match something already invented. Just his own, unique taste, without the bad additives.

Naruto broke first, stopping to breathe, a string of saliva between us. He immediately wiped at his mouth with his sleeve, shoved his now flushing face against my neck without looking at me, and muttered, "Holy crap."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" I smirked.

"That was," His speech broke off so he could swallow, "Way different compared to the first two."

The first was an awkward accident in front of a crowd that resulted in Naruto getting the crap beat out of him by Sakura. It wasn't graceful, it wasn't meaningful, and kissing another male in front of a lot of people didn't seem applicable to either of us, much less kissing anyone at all. The second was not pleasantly thought about, and I refuse to relive. Both however, were quick, short actions. Certainly not like the minute and a half we had just spent on one.

"Yes,"

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

His response took longer. When I heard what he had to say, I knew the reason. The words in themselves had always posed a challenge. Partially because of embarrassment, but mostly because of their unsuitable simplicity. "I love you, bastard." He tacked on the last word to fix up his stumble, I could tell.

"I love you too, moron."

_(Naruto)_

Shizune and Sai both cringed when Tsunade's fists came down on her desk, for the second time that night. Though this time, small indents were made. She was furious - not because she was mad about where Naruto "was" and what had "happened," but because she didn't believe either of the stories Sai told her, and she had no idea if Naruto was alive or not. "That's ridiculous!" She snarled. "What member of that goddamned Organization just walks away when their prize is completely unprotected!?"

"Apparently, this one." Meanwhile, Sai was trying to put on a relaxed smile and seem real throughout his deceiving of the Hokage, of all people. Naruto was safe, and he was in - Well, not in Sai's opinion - good hands, but the Akatsuki member being out of the way was a different story, and that's the part - he thought - that Tsunade didn't believe. He was gone, and the village could be let out of it's lockdown,

_and _he'd walked away - but that was hard to comprehend. Why would he? Now, had he told her it was Itachi and he had no interest in Naruto whatsoever, and wanted to be murdered, that would have been tough to pull off. Sasuke was another added bonus. A wanted missing ninja right outside. That would have gotten him some points on Tsunade, but not on Naruto - it probably would have gotten him Kyubbi'd.

"That isn't good enough!" Tsunade growled, tensing and leaning forward. "Even if they did just "walk away," you expect me to believe Naruto is safe somewhere out there?! Mind you, I know Naruto can take care of himself, but under circumstances like these, he could be easily threatened or bought in to something. If he's still alone somewhere out there, the figure leaving could be a ploy."

He wasn't alone, but Sai couldn't say that. He'd have to make up an excuse as to who he was with, and that could backfire in his face if his fake partner didn't play along. "Naruto is fine. He was in the village gates when I came, I'm just trying to give him a break. Forgive me, Lady Hokage, but I was trying to cool you down before he got here and had to be yelled at." Sai bowed his head just slightly. "The ANBU have probably freaked out, and are dragging him here right now."

Tsunade wasn't pleased yet, but she hadn't gotten any angrier. "You say he's inside the village?"

"Yes, I'm sure." He'd better hurry up, too. Sai was lying to the Hokage, and keeping out the most valuable information. It wasn't easy to do without blurting the truth to such a superior.

"Speak of the devil," Shizune muttered from her usual, seen-not-heard spot behind Tsunade. Sai turned and saw Naruto, half stumbling half running into the office with a masked ANBU man behind him.

I kept my eyes as far away from Tsunade's face as possible. I avoided her gaze completely, and stared at the floor, even while I was still walking in. I was completely out of it, but maybe Sasuke had hoped for that. We kissed again, and now that we'd been through one and knew what we were doing, the second was a thousand times better. I'd gotten just what you'd expect out of Sasuke - an icy, bitter taste. Aside from this high I was still on, I had around a million other thoughts in my head, and I was trying to resurface them on the way here, but now I'd have to wait until I was finished with Tsunade.

Keep your eyes on the floor…

At first there was silence, and the ANBU woman who had insisted on following me broke it. "I found him on his way here, and he claimed he was coming up to see you, but I thought I would make it official, milady. Naruto has been safely recovered from previous disappearance." Yeah, yeah, she knows who I am, shut the hell up. "Is there any news on the intruder?"

"We're about to find out." Tsunade grumbled. "I don't really believe Sai, here, but I won't believe either of you if you give me different stories. Tell me what happened." I knew she was referring to me. The ANBU woman exited, probably hand dismissed by Tsunade.

I was getting good at this lying thing. I know I'm a terrible liar, it's obvious. I couldn't hide anything important from anyone. However, I had gotten some unpleasant practice. "I was worried about…him hurting someone in the village. I'd never forgive myself if there were to be casualties on my behalf." Sounding upset made me even more plausible. "So I snuck out. I wanted to make him leave. I waited and waited and waited…and I can only assume he left. He isn't dead, I know, unless someone here got a hold of him. But I think we're safe, I never saw him at all." I quickly added, when Tsunade was about to break something, "I wasn't with Sai, either. Sai and I probably saw completely different things."

"Sai said similar. He said there was no sign of an intruder, and that they undoubtedly left." Tsunade sounded calmed, even if only a little.

"Maybe they didn't find what they were looking for." Sai said quietly.

"I don't understand it, but I can't do anything about it now." Tsunade sighed, fury receded. "You worry me - It would be just like you to give yourself up for the sake of someone else…"

"I don't get it either," I growled, too low for anyone to hear. I was still trying to calm my racing mind. If I thought too hard about everything now, I would loose it and tell the truth, and according to Sai, the truth wasn't alright. Why Sasuke was still such a huge deal? No idea. Tsunade knows he wouldn't hurt anyone innocent, and is really only limiting himself to a certain Uchiha - Stop thinking, damn it!

"Naruto?"

I was about to reply, but Tsunade's chair shifted and she stood up, bracing her hands on the wood of her desk. Eyes still on my feet, I waited for a slap, or some kind of physical fury. Her high heeled shoes clicked when she walked around the office furniture, and she stopped in front of me, forest green fabric settling around her, and long blonde pigtails dropping past her shoulders.

"Uh-huh?" I questioned, waiting still.

Then all of the air whooshed out of my lungs, I was met with uncomfortably large breasts suffocating my own torso, and faced with long blonde hair. Grandma Tsunade had me in a bone crushing, oxygen stopping hug, and was nearly lifting me off my feet. "Tsu-Tsunade - can't breathe - hello…?"

She let me go, an I stumbled back to my feet, gasping in air.

"You're paying for my window." She growled, but now recovered, I could only smile. Tsunade was only agitated, and now she was utterly relieved enough to painfully hug me infront of other people. Love you too, Tsunade.


	24. Uchiha: Part One

I stopped centering my text! :O This is so much easier to read.

* * *

Sai had gone home, after a short conversation about what had happened back in Tsunade's office. He said he had missions to wait for, since it was still morning. Neither of us brought up the burning questions, and I was appreciative of it. I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to curl up into a ball, in the dark, in blankets, and hopefully have some kind epiphany.

But instead of going home, I decided to work at my epiphany in the fresh air. Luckily, I hadn't been spotted by Kakashi, Yamato, or Iruka. They were the only ones I was worried about having to lie to. More lies. Not what I needed. They all knew about the lockdown - Iruka was probably at home grading papers, and Kakashi and Yamato were probably on the front lines with the ANBU. Did they know if I was involved? No clue.

I went back to my old training grounds. Thinking about it, so many things in our - Sasuke and my - life lead back to the place. There were the countless hours of sparring and meeting - and waiting for Kakashi - with Sakura's mental tallying and Kakashi's praise and critique. There were all of the times Sasuke and I had stayed after Sakura was gone, and done nothing but spill our thoughts to each other. The confession, and my first words to Sasuke after his two year absence. Last night. It was the perfect spot.

I fell listlessly to sitting on a spot that should have chalk marks around it. Up against Sasuke's cherry blossom tree. I was stealing his spot, but it was comforting, like he was really there. I didn't have anyone to tell my story to, but I could mentally drop the weight. The first and most important thing.

Sasuke.

Sasuke was certain he had killed his brother. It wasn't real, but it made Sasuke himself again. That was the positive. There were far too many negatives. It made Sasuke reckless. It gave him an air of invincibility that could ruin him. Now he was going to Orochimaru, thinking he would have an easy time, and I wasn't sure if he would or wouldn't. He could get himself killed.

And he may be himself again, but it was fake. Now was every aspect of our lives a lie? It was amazing how that one façade could alter an entire life. Even the kiss felt like a lie.

The kiss.

Had we lead normal lives, I probably would have jumped him at the opportunity if he had offered it the way he had this time. I was apprehensive, almost afraid of it - because the last time we had, it was followed by a near death experience. A memory I didn't want to bring to the surface. Sasuke must have been blinded by his satisfaction, but I'm sure he felt the same. He was weary himself, and patient.

Itachi.

I twisted the grass below me in my hands. Itachi was confusing. He had only given me vital information, but in very small, not explanatory terms. He was ordered to kill the clan. By who? For what reason? Why did he go through with it? Why was Sasuke left alive? Why did Itachi plant a seed of revenge in his head? He wanted Sasuke to kill him, and for me to end trying to stop him. Why? Why would Itachi want to die? What would killing him do? More importantly, why had Itachi - I assumed - erased his memory? He stated he wanted Sasuke to murder him, and Sasuke would have been on it like lightning had he awoken sane.

My Epiphany.

Find Itachi.

For the time being, Sasuke would be gone. If I could find Itachi, he could explain the entire thing to me, and maybe I could find some way to keep both of them alive.

I intended to look for him, but I intended to look for him outside of Konoha. I also expected it to be difficult, but it was far from. Kakashi and Yamato hadn't bothered to find me for training or missions yet, so if I went home, I would evade them completely. I planned to search tomorrow, and I wanted to avoid everyone, if possible. Going to _look_for someone that - as far as everyone else was concerned - was trying to capture you sounded like suicide.

Sasuke's house was still as clean and orderly as ever. I fixed up the place weekly, just like anyone would in a normal household. I probably kept it in better shape than Sasuke ever did. I left my shoes by the door, and left all of the lights downstairs shut off. I dashed up the stairs, on a one way course to my goal, a shower. After the shower, maybe more sleep. And food.

I recalled the first time I ever came up these stairs and to the balcony like hallway at the top of them that overlooked the yard. I was with Sasuke, and he was showing me his bedroom, giving me a sort of tour. It was when he first offered to let me live with him, what with problems of the past that didn't exist anymore. Would those things still be happening if I was still in my house, and had never moved in here? I didn't know.

But I did wonder, what was in the other rooms? Sasuke had told me not to go in one of them - his parents room - and he hadn't bothered to mention that the doorway in the middle of his and his parents was his brother's room, but with the boards and such, it was obvious.

I was respectful enough to not go near his parents room. Not only that, I didn't have an interest in what could be in there. But Sasuke wasn't here, and he couldn't tell me no, and I _did_ have an interest in what was in Itachi's room. Maybe I could find some record, document, or report on him that would tell me the whole story I wanted to know, and I could avoid looking for him altogether.

Determined, I made it all the way up the stairs and past the first door - Sasuke's parents bedroom, and stopped at the second door. Then almost had a heart attack.

The boards were completely gone.

Small holes left from nails and all kinds of scrapes mangled the wood of the door. Someone who definitely wasn't me had been here, taken the boards down, and presumably was either in the room or had been in the room.

I shivered, and went with the option, "_had_ been in the room." I reached out to touch the handle, grabbed it like I had been anticipating it to shock me or something, even though I wasn't _that_ stupid, turned it and swung it open. A shower of dust came forth. It certainly wasn't a room I had cleaned, and probably hadn't been touched in ten or so years.

The room was laid out differently than Sasuke's, with a twin sized bed on the right side of the room, parallel to the wall and pressed up against it. The blanket on top was grey, unlike Sasuke's dark blue. Across from the bed on the left wall was a bookshelf, filled with bound books with scrolls sitting infront of them on the shelves, all rolled up and tied. On the back wall that I faced was a window, centered exactly in the room. In front of the window was a black fabric chair, and beside that a small table with a lamp. What I couldn't see, was on the wall with the doorway was another set of shelves and drawers, jam packed with all kinds of weapons and tools - kunai, splitting kunai, shurikens, hung up swords, wires, summoning scrolls, seal scrolls, ration bars, soldier pills, and every rank of Konoha uniform. Everything needed or desired for any mission.

And in the ink colored chair across from me, sat Itachi Uchiha, former resident of the room.

"Y-you!" I cried, for it was the only word that came to mind in my human instinct to yell. I backed away a step and waited for something to happen - and by something, I assumed something bad or painful - but nothing did. Just an involuntary reaction. Itachi remained in his place, watching me. "What…" I tried to make words since he hadn't responded, "What in the _hell _are you doing here?"

At first he was silent, like he was processing something. "I had a feeling you'd be here, I suppose." He was wiping dust away from something in his hands, but I wasn't paying any attention. My sense of duty and realization kicked in quicker than the fear. As if to be threatening, I walked in and shut the door behind me.

"You owe me some explanations." Oooh, crap. Not good. I had to hope Itachi really wasn't bad. Maybe he'd find it a joke, but we both knew he could be miles away from here by the time any form of ANBU unit showed up. Why ANBU? Well, they probably had a bit better chance then I did. I needed to start thinking before I spoke. I guess that was another fault of mine - since birth, I'd said whatever the hell I wanted to, without putting much worrisome thought into it until after things were said.

He chuckled without emotion, but that combo made it a little sad. "What would you like to know first?"

I willingly dropped my guard, walked in a little more, and dropped to sitting on his old bed. I should have been running, but - with the exception of Sasuke's presence - I'd never felt so physically safe in my life. Like I could walk all over Itachi without fear of anything. Half of me, anyway. Half of me - the sane part - processed that he was still an Uchiha, and he was still in a sense, a murderer. The other half of me wanted nothing but justice - so long as I got my answers first. "How did you know I would be here?"

His answer came quickly enough. He was still fiddling with the object in his hands, but it seemed more like an act of confidence, not at all nervousness. "You seem to be the only other thing besides me that drives Sasuke to a kind of insanity. For you though, it's healthy, so I have reason to think he's in love with you."

I probably would have slapped myself under other circumstances. We were either really, _really_ damn obvious, or we had a stalker who'd already spread some worldwide message about it. Maybe Kakashi…I stopped thinking. "Okay. Moving on. You're confusing."

"How so?"

I bit my lip and glanced at him for awhile. Where to start. "We'll get to the proof, and the back-story, and the 'why' later, but assuming everything you've told me so far is true, which isn't much, you probably want Sasuke to kill you."

No answer.

"So why did you make him forget? He would have been a bat out of hell on a one way course to your death had he woken up and remembered what had happened. That's what's confusing. Actually, more than that. Why don't you just let him slaughter you?" In reality, the whole damn thing didn't make any sense at all.

He placed the object that remained unidentified on the small table beside him, and stood up. I'd barely seen him move, he was so quick. It probably wasn't on purpose either - just a force of habit. "I think we should start from the very beginning."

"When's that?" I asked, the sane half of me working to realize that he was coming closer to me. I still remained sitting. Vulnerable. As if we were usual friends, he sat down - much more gracefully than I did, mind you - beside me, and I was determined to do all but glare to prove I wasn't intimidated.

"Around ten years ago." His gaze wasn't on me though, not yet. He was looking away first. "It would be easier to show you, than try to explain."

"Show me how?" I tried to piece together in my head what he meant. Pictures? A tour of someplace?

"You remember when I left Sasuke unconscious - you and that sage were there."

"Oh…yeah." I tried to bite back. Then, him and his partner Kisame hadn't wanted to walk out of there without me. Me and my demon. Had that want gone away? Had he betrayed Akatsuki? Or something? Or not? I had to be completely confident in my judgment.

"I suppose you'll hear the rest of that story soon, but for now, I can show you anything in the world that I think up - and you'll feel like it's all real. It would be much easier than telling you everything." He was looking at me now, like it had something to with his eyes. That's right, Sasuke's eyes were solid and glazed over…

"Will I be unconscious for a month?" I couldn't hold it back. Kakashi, Iruka, and anyone else unaware would be suspicious by tomorrow, and they'd be looking for me. Being knocked out for a month - out of the question.

"…No. What - "

"Uh, right, when you went away, Sasuke was in that comma like thing for over a month." Idiotic speaking must have been in my genes somewhere. I wonder if clumsiness comes from alleles?

Itachi looked puzzled at first, and it was the first time I'd seen anything but blankness on his face. After a few moments of thinking, he answered. "My jutsu only lasts a day." Then he waited a bit longer, like he was checking what he was about to say. "When it wore off, something else kept Sasuke's sub-consciousness from waking. Something self induced, unless he was kept that way purposely by whoever took care of him."

Something else, self induced. I'd thought that Itachi was to blame for Sasuke's comma - the month long part. But when Tsunade came with me to undo the 'jutsu' his eyes were closed and he was breathing normally. Not like before I went with Jiriya to find her. Then when he was awake, his eyes were clear and he was a little lost as to where he was. I'd have to ask him, someday. "So…you're saying you want to use it on me, but will I be out for a whole day?"

"Not if I break it when we're done."

It sounded okay, but there was one last problem. Did I trust him enough? I'd seen the power before - you go into your own mind and lose control of your body. Anything and everything could happen to your body while the jutsu was being performed. Besides that, the images were at his control. He could show me _anything_, and between memories and things Sasuke had told me, there were plenty of things I never wanted to see. Be it again, or for the first time. "How do I know I can trust you?"

"You don't."

I waited for more of response, but nothing came. He was right though. There wasn't much he could say to make me trust him. "That's not good enough."

"How will you find out the truth, otherwise?" His eyes flashed red, something so familiar to me, that I'd seen in Sasuke's orbs so many times. He was still right. How would I? I wanted the truth almost as much as I wanted Sasuke back. If he killed me or something, at least I could think I died _trying _to fix this.

"You Uchiha are so fucking intimidating." I growled. "Set me up."

He chuckled, just the same as he had before. Dry and lifeless. He shifted a little, and locked eyes with me. "Just keep your eyes open for a moment," He said, and I had to force them. Every nerve up there wanted me to shut them, simply knowing things that _might_ happen. At first he shut his crimson orbs, like he was concentrating hard on preparing this. Then his eyes opened slowly enough for me to study the details. It was just like the regular sharingan, but the three black tomoe were thicker, and connected - joined at the center of his eye on a black ring. That was all I had time to notice. A millisecond later, I wasn't gazing into his eyes, I was looking at the outside of the house - but there were people, now.

"Oh. This is when your clan was still alive." People, all with black or brown hair and pale skin, traits of the Uchiha, infested the village. It looked alien - since the only way I'd ever seen it was empty. There was a limited amount of people, but it still seemed weird. Besides that, I'd only been exposed to two of them - all of these people were cheery and bustling and making the scene look perfectly normal for being smack dab in the peaceful Konoha. Just like Itachi and Sasuke, most of them, male and female, were pleasing to the eyes. "Wow. What are you doing?" I wondered if Itachi could even hear me at all.

"Manifesting a memory into what I show you."

"It's damn vivid, for being a _mental_ image." And vivid barely covered it. Not only could I see - I could hear everything. Voices speaking small talk, and serious mission business. If I remembered right, the Uchiha were our former police force. I heard a lot of things about investigations, standing in the middle of it all. I could also smell - although there wasn't much that stood out. I also felt. The temperature, the breeze. I wondered instantly if I could taste, but there was nothing to test the theory on that I'd be willing to put in my mouth.

"'You'll think it's all real,'" He repeated his quote from earlier.

I had another realization, and it made me notice that I was really slow. "Why was Sasuke screaming?" It spilled over, but I hadn't actually planned on asking. Better to wonder.

"…We'll get to -" He started. Then I wondered why I couldn't see him, but he _was_ controlling the illusion.

_KIT. WHAT in the HELL is this?_

_Oops._

_Well?!_

_Um, well, remember Itachi? _Could he hear us? I kept that thought away from Kyubbi, for the time being.

_Do I REMEMBER Itachi?_

_Stupid question, right. Just don't worry about it, and ignore the mental picture you're getting._

_What - What are you thinking? This is - The Uchiha's place, I remember._

_You would. _The grudge that the whole world held against me for holding Kyubbi - and what Kyubbi had done, didn't often come to my mind, but now was one of those times.

_But you've never seen this._

_For the time being, shut up. Go back to sleep._

_You owe me explanations then, brat._

I waited for just a few moments before quietly asking, out loud, "Could you hear that?"

Itachi answered, just like I'd hoped. "I could hear it - but I couldn't say anything that he would have heard. Interesting, you can 'talk' to him like that. How long have you been able to?"

Nervously, I tried to stray away from that conversation. I didn't want him to know much, or want much. I still hadn't heard the real story behind two years ago when his ambition was capturing me, because of said fox demon. "Since I found out he was in there, err, here. A few months after I turned twelve. But what about these people?"

"To them, we are not here." He replied smoothly. "None of their senses are attuned to us."

"So if this is the beginning, help me understand the story." Now I was ready to get down to it. Maybe I'd finally get to hear the entire thing, though most if it didn't make sense yet. If I hadn't felt I could put so much trust in Itachi, I never would have questioned that he was just a madman.

"I was around thirteen, and Sasuke was nearly seven. At this point, I was a Chunin, and Sasuke was soon to be in the academy. Our mother's name was Mikoto, and our father was Fugaku. Had Sasuke told you any of that?" I assumed he was just giving me the back-story, but I hadn't ever heard about Sasuke's parents at all. I'd also never taken the time to do the math - Sasuke was only six years old. I tried to imagine Sasuke, little like that. Of course everyone started out a baby, and grew, but looking at someone as stoic, dark, and driven as Sasuke at sixteen years old, you never would have thought he was ever child. He'd only gotten six years of a real childhood.

_You haven't gotten any. _Kyubbi mumbled, half asleep. He was right, too, but I'd also never been exposed to childhood, then had it ripped out from under me. According to Jiriya, I was child enough now, and I'd had Iruka most of the time.

"I guess talking about them would have been a little hard." I breathed.

It took him just a little too long to answer, and he didn't respond to my comment. I remembered, they were his parents, too. His family. His childhood. And at thirteen, it was still hard to take, even if he was an Uchiha. Even if he'd done it with his own hands, there was a reason. I didn't doubt it now. This had hit Itachi just as hard, no, harder. He wouldn't have done something like this without knowing good would come of it. "I'll show you the first part." His voice sounded untouched. Uchiha's were very good at what they did.

* * *

Was going to do the entire thing in one chapter, but I was itching to put this up, so you get the other part eventually.


	25. Uchiha: Part Two

A.N. So, I'm still working around the idea for a thrid part. (How the heck I am going to think of a tie in title, I have know idea.) That would be a long ways off, since this still has a long way to go, but I thought of lots of endings for this one, and none seem to fit well. I like the idea of having a cliffy at the end, But that would require a thrid part, since cliffing my own story would tick me off to know end :D Still thinking though. Sorry the updates for this are so slow. Again. But they probably always will be!

* * *

I could hear him be my narrator of sorts, and I could see him in the real picture sometimes, too. The very first thing he showed me - by my request - was his family, and Sasuke, of course. At first Sasuke was nowhere to be found, and I was disappointed. It was killing me to know what he possibly could have looked like, small and adorable. Neither of those words applied to Sasuke on a regular basis, so it would probably be a sight worth the time.

The very first family member I got to see was Mikoto, Sasuke and Itachi's mother. I'd always expected someone rough and ruthless, considering the way her sons turned out, but she was the exact opposite. She was constantly smiling, and she did normal housework and cooking like most non-shinobi women in families did. On the other hand, I'd expected her to be strikingly beautiful, and she was beyond that. Sasuke took all of his pigment from her. Long, silky raven hair that fell far past her shoulders, alabaster skin and gentle, shadowy eyes. Everything she did was like a pattern or a dance, and she was graceful in all of her movements. She didn't look like the type of parent to drill needs for unemotional shinobi into her children's heads. So where did that come from?

Moving on past her, Itachi was silent. Thankfully, he was letting me take my time to just get attuned to the actual people I was learning about. He also shouldn't have been keen on talking about anyone, considering he'd killed them.

The person we came upon next was the opposite, with the exception of some natural Uchiha pigment. Fugaku, I guessed. His skin was a lot tanner, probably where Itachi got his not quite pale complexion. His hair was also more brunette, a dark brown that was almost black, but not inky and blue tinged like Sasuke's or Mikoto's - another thing Itachi must have gotten in his genes. His eyes were the same, and I wondered if there was any other eye color for an Uchiha at all. But to be even more of an opposite from the mom of the family, he never had anything but a distant look on his face when I saw him, matched with a constant scowl. This was where the influence came from - Sasuke had matured so quickly because his mother probably didn't get much say in how the boys would be brought up. This man most likely called it all.

"What about you and Sasuke?" I asked, walking back out through the house. It was weird, walking around in a vivid world in which no one else could see you, hear you, touch you, anything.

"I'll create the image as you go, but there should be a gate at the end of the district that goes outside the village, and into a training spot we found. I think that will be entertaining for you to see." He almost, _almost_ sounded a little amused, and mostly like he was reminiscing about some private happening. Seeing him anywhere would have been fine, but Itachi was controlling things, and he must have been doing this for some of his own benefit.

For once, throughout this whole endeavor of being locked in my own mind, I couldn't stop giggling when I found this spot, adorned with targets where the marks were only on the bulls-eyes. They were _tiny_! The memory Itachi was nearly two feet shorter than I was, and Sasuke was much, much smaller than that. Beyond their size, adorableness. They looked like miniatures of the men I knew now, and even as threatening, intimidating, and stoic as they were, they'd started out some of the most innocent and playful kids I'd ever seen.

That just made me ache again. What would they have been like had the massacre never happened? Normal, happy human beings…Currently, The memory Itachi was giving the memory Itachi an example on how to hit all aforementioned targets in one go.

"You understand, that no matter what you learn, none of it may be told to anyone. The only people who have knowledge of the events are dead or completely untrustworthy."

He changed the subject so suddenly, I had to get out of my stupor of watching them to really think about it. I only knew two details, and I already wanted to tell Sasuke. Maybe if he believed them, with some regret, he'd give up this whole thing. But I still had a lot more to go. If Itachi didn't want Sasuke to know, then there must have been a reason for it, and a good one. "I won't."

"No, I need some proof that you won't." He seemed determined, too. Like he'd stop this altogether before he told me without my complete trust.

"What am I supposed to do to _prove_ my trust to you? Isn't that something you just give?" I drawled.

"Normally. What's important to you?" He must have thought that if I'd be willing to risk something precious, I'd keep his secret. What would he do, kill them?

I bluffed and listed them off casually. "Sasuke, Iruka, Kakashi, Sai, most everyone in the village…Saku-" I stopped and I'm sure my eyes got big, at least in this mental picture. My normal body and eyes were probably the same outside my brain. I'd come to the conclusion before, but now…"Wait. Let's make it really clear."

"Yes?"

"You…" I swallowed the lump that had unconsciously formed in my throat. I thought I'd been over this, thought I'd moved on, but now the scene was replaying. I could understand a bit more how much Sasuke's nightmares hurt him. "You really didn't…intend for Sakura to die, did you?" He didn't reply. "Be-because, I blamed you for it. In the moment, I thought it was Sasuke's fault. But after I learned that clone was you…" Just another thing I'd need explained. Why was he pretending to be me?

Itachi seemed to fathom what I meant, now. "Sakura was the third in your squad. You, Sasuke, and her." I didn't respond, just waited for him to say something more. Maybe he was thinking about when he was still a citizen of Konoha, and he had a team, or at least a teammate. Maybe he'd lost them. I may have been right, since a sort of sympathy came next. "I suppose this information is barely compensation, then."

"So you'll tell me?"

"…Yes." He added with slight hesitation, and the world faded to white, like I was locked in a cloud. I stumbled backwards a bit. I was in some kind of solid, hollow space that was surrounded on all sides by ivory walls. Something he'd done to the image, but still vivid, and I felt the same sense of vertigo I would have had this been real. "What did they teach you in the academy about clans, in history?"

"Something like, before there were our countries, there were just a bunch of clans warring with each other. Some of the clans whose genetics go strong to this day, like the Hyugga, Akimichi, and Aburame, were clans way back when, too." And that was where my knowledge stopped. I had a feeling the Uchiha could have been a long line, but there were only two of them left. Come to think of it, they never did teach us much about the Uchiha clan, just the abilities that often came with the bloodline.

And to match my words, an image came up. It looked, smelled, and sounded like the outskirts of Konoha, but the village was nowhere in sight. The walls hadn't been put up yet - the land hadn't even been cleared. Itachi certainly wasn't alive then, but he must have thought something up like it, or imagined it. Instead, since I was seeing a birds-eye like view of the place, I saw smaller settlements, tons of them, though evenly spaced apart like territories.

"Konoha, and the surrounding fire country, and all of the other countries were formed because certain clans of similar types acted as militia for smaller countries in a constant war for more power and territory. The first Hokage use to be a clan leader of a clan called Senju, and so was a man named Madara, leader of the Uchiha so long ago." I was right, they really had been that old. I wasn't sure why he was telling me this, or showing me this, but it must have had something to do with it. "If a country hired Senju, then their enemies hired Uchiha, since they were considered the strongest in existence. It became a rivalry among clans, and everyone feared them. In the end, The Senju asked for a truce, and the Uchiha agreed, since both were tired from constant war. Madara was the only one who opposed the Truce, but he went with what his clan wanted. Soon after, our alliance made a pact with the land of fire, and the started the limit of one village per country. Peace came.

The image changed again. The village and it's walls were in construction, and the clans brought into the country were setting up places inside. Some people just became citizens and certain clanships were abolished, but the clans so well known today had their own districts being set up.

"But what does that have to do with…" I began, kind of enjoying the history, but wanting to get to the point.

"There is more." He replied. "The position of Hokage was granted to the man you know as the first, Hashirama. Everyone in the village chose him. The Uchiha's slowly lost there supremacy, and Madara wished to oppose the Hokage, but none would follow him. The Uchiha clan betrayed him, and he left the village."

No other image was coming, but Itachi seemed to hesitate on something before he spoke. "Madara challenged the village, and the First alone. He 'died' in a place known today as the 'Valley of the End.' Though he didn't truly die."

After the words Valley of the End, I was ignoring him, and he seemed to notice. "That place! Those statues!" I tried to shove unwelcome memories out of my head, but besides those, I remembered my inability to name the other statue. "That was Madara!"

"Yes. When the second Hokage was named, he gave the Uchiha's a special position in the clan to show them trust. They became the military police force. However, that wasn't the true purpose. They were trying to distance the Uchiha from government, and have them under surveillance. Some Uchiha's rebelled after realizing this, but it was too late. The Hokage had regained supremacy."

He was hesitating again. A New image came, and it was familiar enough that I could have screamed. It was something I often saw in nightmares, and one in particular when I first slept in Sasuke's house. The war zone from sixteen years ago, with Kyubbi taking lives. I did scream.

"Don't - Don't-!" I tried to back away from the image, but it was quickly gone. Itachi's hesitation was explained.

"The undoing of the Uchiha clan was the Kyubbi's attack on this place." But I was hardly listening. I fell to a sitting position and tried to recover from the usual pain when I saw the same monster that I carried destroying the place I loved.

He waited for me to calm down, and I managed, "Go on."

"You see, Uchiha chakra is the only thing that reigns over Kyubbi. To make more sense of it, if Sasuke wanted to, and knew he could, he could stop the Kyubbi from giving you any chakra, or make you return to your normal self if Kyubbi tries to take over. Uchiha's control the monster - not the Jinchuruki, but the monster."

I nodded, surprised by this new knowledge. I never saw the Uchiha and Kyubbi connected at all. He'd never mentioned anything about being wary around Sasuke, nothing. "Keep going."

"The elders suspected an Uchiha rebellion. They thought an Uchiha wanted power, and was controlling the Kyubbi as an ultimatum. But they were wrong - it was just a freak natural disaster. An attack by an unknowing animal. The council remained suspicious. The Uchiha were closely guarded, and segregated from the population. The Third Hokage didn't want it this way, but the elders and the Black Ops didn't listen. Eventually, the elders' original suspicion became reality…"

I'd already pieced together that reality, knowing enough. "My father led the Uchiha into a rebellion, to take over the entire village."


	26. Naruto's Abilities

* * *

Warnings: OMG MANGA-SPOILERS MUCH? God I'm such a spazz. I should have put that at the beginning. Oh well, maybe you thought this was just my imagination xD

Writing this helped me get in-touch with my inner Itachi love. But you all have to admit it…before you knew the truth, you were either over-analyzing him, or you thought he was crazy. Or you were a Sasuke-hater and you loved him from the beginning because he was totally mean to that Emo bastard xD So what did YOU think of Itachi?

* * *

After living and breathing and moving in the open air - the clean, light, not musty air - of the real world for even just a day, I didn't want to go back into Orochimaru's hellhole in the side of the cliff. As Naruto so appropriately nicknamed it.

I'd made double speed. Adrenaline, excitement, I didn't know what made me go so fast. Probably eagerness to get this over with and get back to Naruto, and almost just as eager to get back to Sai and tell him off. Now that Itachi was gone…Smiles were becoming frequent. The regret I thought I'd be feeling never came, not even in hints. Our parents' suffering hadn't gone unjustified. That was worth it.

Something still seemed to be missing. I couldn't grasp it, but it was undoubtedly something.

Maybe it was crazy…but the thought of slaughtering someone else I hated made me a little giddy.

* * *

If the elders had just let the Uchiha function as a normal clan, and not _shown_ them distrust, they wouldn't have rebelled. Somehow…everything involving the Uchiha, Sasuke, Itachi, and the tragedies tied to them, led back to the council of elders…Danzou…Koharu…and…The other old guy. I never thought of the old freaks, so their names slipped. "But I don't understand one thing, so far," And "so far" was necessary, since I _knew_ there was so much more to this story. "Why did _you_ betray Uchiha? What made you different?"

He sounded a little distraught, but maybe that was because I was getting so good at reading their stoic emotions. I always knew how Sasuke felt or thought, even if no one else did. "You won't have questions when I'm through." He replied. "Where was I?"

"Your father."

The story began again like clockwork, and a new image appeared. It was the even more brutal looking man, the brothers' father, and he seemed to be overseeing a meeting of higher-ups in the clan. The image was soundless, this time. "I became a spy on his orders, after he told me the clan's intentions. He knew I was good enough to get into the Black Ops, likewise the Hokage, and he wanted information. The opposite happened."

The image flashed again. Finally I just sat down, more comfortable watching the scenes. But this time it wasn't an image in front of me, I was sitting in a familiar room, with the Third Hokage alive and well at the desk Tsunade now often made her bed on after lots of sake. Itachi, looking around the age I graduated, stood before him and the looming elders, head bowed. Words came, for once.

"_Have any new plans been made?" _The old man's voice sounded nostalgic for me. I'm sure Konohamaru would have loved to see him again, even like this.

"_Yes, but the objective is the same. There is still no question…My father wishes to either control you or kill you, and there are many plans involving that…second option." _The memory Itachi passed a folder full of paper to the Hokage, who looked them over with heavy eyes.

"_Why haven't you ordered it yet?" _Danzou, I'm sure that was him, hissed after over looking the papers. Such elaborate plans…I could only imagine what assassination plans the Uchiha could come up with.

"_There is still a chance that is unnecessary. There must be something we can do for them…" _His second statement sounded so less sure. When people you thought you trusted were targeting for assassination, and you really wanted to help them, what did you do?

"_Pardon. What order?" _Itachi raised his head a little and eyed the two men and the woman behind the Hokage with a hidden hatred.

Sarutobi held his hand up before his advisors could break the obvious news to Itachi. They all silenced. The Third didn't want what the Uchiha's were fated for, and neither parties wanted to lose their double agent so early on. _"It is nothing, nothing to concern yourself with now. Thank you, Itachi."_

The darker male stepped out without a word, and the one in my head began to speak again. "You wonder why I betrayed Uchiha. You haven't seen war…not in person. But you have had nightmares such as the one I showed you of the Kyubbi. During the Third Ninja War, I was four, and I'd already seen a bloody battlefield. I'd witnessed just as much as the frontline did, and I'd lost people I knew and often cared about to a mindless, rapid slaughter. You and I are alike. We've seen lives taken…and we fight to protect them. Don't you?"

"Yeah." I was surprised by the solemn turn he'd taken. I couldn't answer much with anything else, I was too stunned.

"War is hell. Seeing it made me betray the Uchiha, for I knew if a civil war began, people would take advantage of a sure to be crumbling Fire Country, and I didn't want to see more people die. Not for my clan's self interest."

"So the Elders used it against you." I snarled.

"The mission later given to me by those three was my decision whether or not to take it. Though if I'd refused, they'd have found someone else to do it. The clan's death was inevitable…I wouldn't have acted any differently. It was what I wanted."

"But that's still how they saw you. A tool. They didn't care about how much it was hurting you." In another way, Itachi was like me. I felt a sympathy - that had just been slowly growing - consume. _They just look at the monster, they don't care about how much pain you're in. They just see you as a tool, they don't care about what you want. They just want you for power, they don't care about your wishes. _That seemed to be how Konoha was run. I wasn't accusing Tsunade - or any of the Hokage's, my heroes…but the higher power over them. People they couldn't argue with in their right mind.

Pain I hadn't even heard of led back to the people governing my own country.

"The Elders gave me the mission to annihilate the Uchiha." He didn't reply to my comments, but his response had taken noticeably longer.

I was sitting on the ground, in the night. A full moon like a cotton ball sat in the jet black night sky. Uchiha district houses lined the streets. Footsteps - no doubt a young child's running - rang through my ears. "Don't show me this." I managed.

The image and the footsteps faded.

"I can't even imagine what your mentality was like," I said, trying to be light, but it probably didn't settle on him that way. I suppose I could have imagined. But betraying your parents with the ultimate…killing them…the choice for me…for anyone, I would have thought, would be obvious. You just couldn't. But he had.

Itachi never betrayed his people out of hatred. It was out of greater good. He had no choice. No one…No one who knew the truth could possibly blame him for that sacrifice. If Sasuke knew better, he wouldn't have blamed him. And Itachi was yet to give me a reason why we couldn't just _tell_ him and end all of this.

"I told you earlier…Madara was still alive. His chakra is so powerful…like your current Hokage's, he is still alive right now." My eyes widened a bit. "I found out. He was bitter towards both Senju and Uchiha, and he wanted an opportunity for war. I told him he could help me - get his revenge on Uchiha - so long as he promised that he wouldn't touch the rest of the village. The Hokage tried to reach a truce, but in the end, too much time had passed and our night was at hand."

"You did it all." I whispered. Killed them, left the village in a fake dishonor, and joined up with Akatsuki.

"You know already…but there is one thing I couldn't do." I nodded listlessly. "Hard as I tried…Tried not to think about…to just act…it never worked. I couldn't kill my little brother."

* * *

Sai hadn't quite developed what it meant to trust someone, or to keep someone's secrets. He'd been committing acts in secrecy since he was born, but not outside of Danzou. He knew well enough that if he were to say something about those two little tidbits of information to anyone…Or if he blabbed about Sasuke, Naruto would unleash his fury.

But he knew both Itachi and Sasuke were trouble. He'd been tied to Naruto and Sakura by orders, and he'd previously requested to stay bound to them. Naruto, anyway. He'd never gotten to know Sakura. Somehow…Naruto was holding him like shackles, without trying.

He already had Sasuke behind him. Someone unlikely, and who was nothing like Naruto, personality wise. In Sai's opinion, a relationship like theirs shouldn't have existed. But now he was being bound by the same tie. Something odd about Naruto, in particular. When Uzumaki and Uchiha were around each other, Sasuke melted like ice in a microwave. Even when they were angry, or against each other, something still made Sasuke's drive, _him._ But this didn't have to do with Sasuke.

This was some strange trait that Naruto held to draw people. To change people. People grew so easily attached to him so quickly, often whether or not they knew about his monster. Regardless.

Before Naruto, and before that mission he was assigned to kill "the traitor," Sai was nothing more than a human. He had no name, he had no feelings, and his only purpose was to serve. After Danzou gave him a name and sent him off to kill Sasuke, Naruto made him remember so many things, and feel so many different ways, it was insane. Not just the emotions he faked to make people trust him, but real emotions. Things he didn't guide or control.

He felt them now, more than ever. He was just like Sakura and Sasuke. He'd been made Naruto's teammate, and he already wanted to be what they were to him. That was a lot, coming from someone who'd been a subordinate, and absolutely nothing more, beforehand.

Besides everything else, he was damn cute. That was good enough.

But the Uchiha's were a danger, it seemed, nonetheless. Both were missing ninja, and he wasn't sure if he believed Naruto's story about what Itachi told him. He didn't necessarily doubt Naruto telling him the truth…He wondered if what Itachi told him wasn't just a ploy. Naruto had believed him so easily, it seemed farfetched.

As for Sasuke…Sai had been taught by Danzou he needed to be killed, but now he couldn't understand why. The original purpose was so Orochimaru - someone much more bothersome - wouldn't have a body to attack Konoha with. But if Sasuke succeeded in killing _him_, what would Danzou order then? If he still wanted to eliminate the Uchiha, there was another reason he was unaware of. That's where his mind ran out of ideas. Sasuke would have wiped out two big threats…in theory, anyway. Itachi was still alive. Yet another problem. What would Sasuke do if he found out? That made him dangerous. Danzou was probably unaware of Sakura's death, and even if he did know, the fact that it was an accident could be vouched. Whether the fact that it was accidental counted or not, Sasuke still posed no real threat to Konoha. No obvious threat, at the least.

But they weren't to be trusted. It had been their reputation since day one of their time in Konoha. Uchiha's had dangerous minds. Maybe it was biased, but he'd never been taught to think otherwise.

* * *

"Without you, Sasuke wouldn't even be here right now, would he?" That was scary thought. Where would Sakura have fallen in the world with Sasuke to swoon over? Maybe she would have been a better kunoichi, not always so distracted. More than her…where would I be? Sasuke was my first one-on-one friend. When I thought about it, the only one. I had plenty of friends now, but they had all been distant. It had just been me, him, Sakura, and Kakashi in my world. Sakura treated me like any loner female would have treated a boy, and Kakashi was my sensei, not my age - someone I couldn't connect with. Sasuke, in the beginning, didn't want anything to do with anyone. But that must have been a forced action, since it quickly fell apart. We respected each other, and when necessary and with heavy sarcasm, complimented each other. We fought and argued, just like the boys we were, but we - within being bound teammates - were friends. Without him, I probably would have been the same I'd been before I graduated. No one else could have brought out what he did in me, I was sure.

"I guess not." Itachi' story began again before I could even ask for a continuation. The tower with the Hokage, the elders, and the memory Itachi returned, though at first it was the real one talking. The one from the picture had darker splatter spots on grey fabric. Post-massacre. "After I was finished, I knocked Sasuke out and left him for the ANBU to find and hospitalize. I couldn't do anything else. I returned here and begged the Hokage to leave Sasuke alive, and be kept out of the loop."

"_I assure you no harm will come to the village by keeping him alive." _It sounded like begging, even coming from Itachi. His voice cracked and his hands were trembling so lightly, you would have to get your eyes close to them to see. Although, considering he'd just killed his family and was currently pleading for his little brother's life, his self control was incredible.

"_That is unacceptable. You knew the requirements of this mission when you took it." _It was Danzou's angry response again. He'd made his statement so soon, Sarutobi's words had caught in his mouth. Itachi gazed back at this man in fury. He'd had enough of his disrespect, and it was probably the first and only time Itachi spoke without thinking in his life.

"_If I find out any of you have so much as laid a hand on Sasuke, I'll spill every secret this village has to your enemy countries."_

That was all it took to silence each other being in the room, and they were beyond taken aback. After a few moments of silence and everyone - including me - watching his trembling figure, Danzou opened his mouth to speak but the Hokage refused to be interrupted again. _"You have my word."_

Itachi watched the old man's eyes for signs of lying, but pools of sincerity went on for infinity. He nodded. If there was anyone he could trust in the world, it was Sarutobi. He only worried about how these elders would act when he passed. Or even before then. Itachi departed without another word, ready to complete his duty.

"_Disappear." _Danzou muttered. My mental picture faded as Itachi disappeared from the room. Not just this room in particular, Konoha its self, for the next six or so years.

Nothing else came out of Itachi's mouth, and suddenly, everything was black. I couldn't make a sound. I worked my voice, but no sound came. Everything was pitch dark, and my eyes couldn't even begin to focus in the empty nothingness. I tried to move, and I couldn't see my own limbs and arms, even though I knew I was holding them in front of me. _"Where am I!?" _I could still think. It was comforting that I could still talk to Kyubbi, even when things like this happened….whatever this was.

"_That is a very good question."_

"_Are you being sarcastic?!"_

"_Duh. Your mind. Where else?"_

"_Then do you know what's going on? Did you really need me to be that be specific?"_

"_I have no idea. Quit asking me questions."_

"_NO."_

"_Kit, why don't you just relax and think about it. There' s a reason, no doubt. Actually, I'm surprised you're still this sane. Two years ago, you would have been squealing."_

"_I trust Itachi." _Then the explanation was obvious. He'd stopped the images, and wasn't using his mangekyo anymore. I was still out like a light, just like Sasuke had been so long ago. I kept that thought in my head, praying he would be able to get me out of my comma quickly. Or…

"_Um…Kyu?"_

"_WHAT?"_

"_You know what he was doing, right?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Then…do you think I'm going to realize it if something happens to my body outside of here?"_

"_Are you ever able to feel anything?"_

"_No, I just thought this might be different. Hey, when I die, will I still be able to talk to you?"_

This seemed to stump him, momentarily. _"I wouldn't know. I guess it would be nice."_

"_NICE?"_

"_On your part, brat. Even if you died, your mentality, or maybe your soul…This, whatever, would always be with you. Even in death you'd have someone to know."_

"_So it would be on YOUR part, too. You probably fear death as much as a regular person."_

"_I am not afraid. Though, it's something no living creature looks forward to. Even a sealed one."_

"_I must have a gift."_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_I can turn bloodthirsty monsters like you and…Heh, guess Sasuke falls there too, sometimes - into big softies."_

"…_Call it whatever you'd like. It's more like a curse for me and the Uchiha kid."_

"_SURE it is."_

I blinked. Light stung my eyes, but this was not my mind. This was my body. I shook my head rapidly back and forth, growling at the light and reality of the real world. My head was a lot less annoying. I looked down, and saw the grey sheeted bed I'd started out on. I was still sitting up straight. Apparently my body hadn't gone slack at all, just remained frozen in that one spot, explaining my stiff back. I looked back up, and was eye to eye with onyx jewels. I fell back a little more, distancing myself from Itachi. "I hoped I'd be able to get you out of that." He muttered, and I was surprised he'd said something so light.

Because, for some reason, when he had me in my mind with the pictures, I didn't cry. Now my eyes were spilling over. My brain had processed all of the knowledge, and worked out the mysteries behind it, but now the feelings had consumed. I just wasn't good at following that one rule - keep your emotions in. "Why would you do that? Do that for this village after all they've done to you!? All they've used you for!?" With crying, came screaming.

"Why are you a shinobi?"

The question he asked was the same I'd asked him. Only, in easier to understand terms. I just didn't get it yet. "That doesn't matter! I'm a shinobi because I want to be something besides a "monster," and protect the people I love!"

"And as shinobi, you have a duty. Would you back down from a mission if it was given to you?" He sounded so calm and wise it, it was unbelievable.

"No, I wouldn't, because -!" I cut myself off, comprehending. That's what I asked him. Why would you fight for your village after all they'd put you through, and with the consequences it entailed? I was displaying what was, for me, the highest possible form of hypocrisy.

"You and I are no different." He replied. "It doesn't matter how much the elders hate you, or how much pain you've been put through because of this place. You follow your duty as a shinobi because there are people you love, and people you want to protect here."

But that wasn't all. No, there was still more. I was still missing one last piece of the story. "Because you didn't want to see more people die in a war. You left Sasuke alive because you loved him too much, but…You still haven't given me a good reason why I shouldn't just tell him, and end this stupid mess." My sobbing calmed a bit. "What did you tell him that made him hate you so much? Why?"

I was watching him now, and his eyes looked heavy, with his eyebrows turned up in the slightest. He'd only faltered when I mentioned Sasuke. Something told me that no matter what Sasuke did or would do, he'd always love his little brother more than the world. Something unconditional - Sasuke was all he had left. "I told Sasuke I killed them to test myself. I planted the seeds of hatred in his head, knowing he would come after me wanting revenge. It's an Uchiha's natural instinct, even that young."

"That's what you wanted." It wasn't a question, it was statement of disbelief and wonder. _Why?_

He answered as if he'd read my mind. "I'd planned my own death from that moment. If Sasuke finds out the truth, he will be no different than the others in the clan who wanted a rebellion. I knew the Hokage only saved him because he didn't understand what was going on." He continued, "But by keeping him angry like this, his drive will only go stronger."

"Sorry, I don't understand." I whispered, though somewhere far back, I was slowly developing the answer he gave.

"I want Sasuke to kill me, so the village sees him as a hero, and he can live a normal life." My whole body absorbed his words, and it finally hit me - Itachi wasn't ever and wouldn't ever be the blame. He was selfless…He'd caused his brother necessary pain, and now he was going to be killed for it. He knew there was no hope for his return, so he'd sacrifice himself for his brother's well being.

No. He wouldn't.

We were silent for a long time, him probably assuming I needed time to let everything sink in. But it had already been absorbed - I just wouldn't accept it as what had to be. My heart and mind that had led me into reckless promises so many times before bound me to yet another destiny. I wouldn't let him die. I wouldn't let Sasuke die. I'd find away to make things normal again, even if it killed me. "I'm not going to let him kill you."

No response. Maybe he thought I was kidding, and even if he thought I was serious, knew I wouldn't be a difficult detour. But I would be beyond difficult. I'd decided for myself that right now, that was my only goal.

I would make sure that neither of the Uchiha brother's had to suffer anymore.

"I won't let him kill you, and I won't let him die either. I don't care what you tell me now," I glared at him with an unnerved defiance. "I'll find a way to make things normal. You're keeping your life."

He tried to speak, but I was still talking. I caught him before he could say a word. "I'm not sure…why Sasuke forgot what he did when he woke up, or what he saw around us as proof that made him think…That he really did kill you. Yeah, we told him that. He thinks you're dead." Itachi's eyebrows raised in the slightest. Uchiha's were getting so much easier to read, for me. "Even if I have to keep him thinking that. Nothing is going to happen to you."

A few moments passed and nothing else would said. At first he looked like he knew they were just empty words, and either way, he wasn't going to let me interfere with his plans. But then a dumbfounded, surprised look settled on his face. Everything was so subtle, though, you had to be use to every little twitch and half-centimeter movement an Uchiha's eyes and lips made. I was getting so talented, I was sure I was reading his thoughts. He looked like he wondered why I'd say this to someone who I'd only seen one other time, and back then they were trying to capture me so I could die a slow, painful death via chakra extraction. I almost answered without hearing a response, but he lifted his hand to stop me.

"Your decisions are yours." But his eyes gleamed with pity. "Whether you keep your promises or not, it won't affect my decisions." He stood up, and the movement was so graceful and fast, I blinked and he was walking away. "I will continue."

"If I can't stop you, I'll stop Sasuke." I replied to his backside. "I don't give up."

His steps even faltered. Only for a fraction of a second, but I caught it. He stepped out of his old, childhood bedroom and into the balcony-style hallway. I followed him a little ways, but I thought of the object on the table, and wondered if he was leaving it. "What about…" I even started to say it, but apparently he could read my mind, too.

"It's for you." He handed me a picture frame, with a black sheet of paper over where the image should have been. I hadn't even seen him grab it, so he was really damn fast. "You can move the paper and see it later. Someone is coming to look for you, they're outside."

I yelped, and dashed past him for the stairs. If anyone but Sai and I saw Itachi at this point, all hell would break out. He'd be reported and followed…and the guard sent after him would probably get killed. At the top step, I paused and looked back, to find Itachi nowhere in sight. He must have been thinking likewise.

I took a deep breath and remembered my promise. A promise I would keep, this time. I had to. I was going to make sure that neither him nor Sasuke had to die. Itachi was peaceful and broken and Sasuke was innocent and clueless, but their families had been killed because of their difference. Now they were both in a confused kind of hurt. I couldn't live with myself if Itachi lost his life to Sasuke. Not anymore, I couldn't. No matter what Itachi did now, I would keep Sasuke either thinking his brother was dead…or tell him, and fight him away.

I dashed down the stairs to answer the doorbell that was now ringing, just like Itachi had foreseen. It didn't even occur to me until after it was open that no one ever came into the Uchiha district, and no one but Tsunade and now Itachi knew I was here.

* * *

Note: So I really, really love that chapter ^^ I have to know...does anyone have plans on how we should take out Orochimaru? xD


	27. Parents

Been awhile, right? I promise things will take a juicy turn this chapter.

* * *

"What are _you _doing back here? Why…" Orochimaru's right hand subordinate seemed surprised to see me. I guess I should have known better. Kabuto always _was_ trying to get rid of me. He probably knew more firsthand then Orochimaru the connection I had to Konoha and a certain someone in it, so he must have been praying I didn't come back. Thinking that would make Orochimaru favor him for a body. Like I cared.

"Aren't happy to see me?" He also probably wasn't use to the unwavering smirk on my face. Since the Valley of the End, I didn't smile. Period. This was much weirder.

Kabuto didn't answer my sarcasm, just turned his head to one side in disgust. "Weren't expecting you back so soon. Orochimaru's in his usual room." But then I wondered, wouldn't I be doing the world a favor if I got rid of Kabuto, too? None of the subordinates, unless they were younger than Kabuto with the exception of me, (rare but few,) liked him. They all hated him just as much as I did.

No. I'd save him until after I was through with Orochimaru, then I'd get to see the priceless facial reaction. Then again…it would be even more torturing to let him live with it. I was starting to like my own sick mind. At least - sick towards Kabuto and Orochimaru. It was only to people I really hated.

"I'll just wait for him." I shoved past Kabuto, and did what was almost considered thinking hard about how to navigate. Where was I? Didn't take long forget, what with how big the place was. Even a day away in Konoha could make me forget how to get back to my pathetic excuse for a room….With no damn door.

"We're switching bases tomorrow." Kabuto yelled after me, sounding confused and even a little surprised at my weird attitude. At least he didn't ask.

_Oh, are we?_ I smirked and walked on. "I'll get ready for that." But really, no one would be going any such place tomorrow.

* * *

"Ahh -Oh -! Oh my god, what are you doing?" When I opened the door to someone so looming, I'd realized, oh yeah, no one was supposed to know you were here. I started to yell, then saw who it was. It wasn't anyone bad, but they still shouldn't have been at my door.

"I was going to just come in, but I figured you'd be pretty freaked as is. I was right." He shook his head and sighed, and I tried to suppress a growl. "Lady Tsunade told me where you were."

"Still call her 'lady'?" I turned around and walked back inside, and Jiriya followed me. I could only assume Itachi was completely gone. I wasn't too surprised he'd come looking for me - I hadn't seen him since he brought me back from training. He was always off gathering information on Akatsuki, and he didn't stay the village's lackey unless there was an emergency. Traveling was his thing. Besides that, he'd never resorted to even slight formalities when it came to that woman. Everyone else did, sure, but he was different.

"I heard you gave her quite a scare last night, err, this morning." He avoided my comment, but I wondered if that was why he was here. If he knew, no doubt Iruka had heard the reason for the lock down. The Kyubbi vessel was in a dangerous position involving S-ranked criminals who may be completely willing to take any life in their way. But not the one I'd met.

"Yeah. She was really scared." I wasn't prepared to tell anyone the truth about it, either, though I knew that's what he'd been hinting on.

"I don't see a good reason why the Akatsuki would just walk away from their prize when it was unprotected like that." Would saying anything be wise? He'd been studying the Akatsuki since he'd been gone, so he may have none more than I did about the encounter. If I told him a lie - or if he'd already caught me in one - then he could know about it's truth.

"Don't call me a _prize_, and more importantly, not an _it_." I grumbled, ending my walk at the bottom of the stair steps. I dropped to a seat at the bottom one, already feeling the confrontation coming on. What was I going to say? What would he say? "What's Akatsuki been doing?"

"Not planning that attack." He shook his head back and forth. "That's what's confusing me. There weren't plans for anything involving you until later on. You'd be amazed what kind of spies of theirs you'd catch at a hot springs or a bar, and what they were saying…" He rambled off.

"Wasn't really an attack." I said dryly. "Just one of them."

"_Which _One?" It was a very threatening demand, and he glared down at me, not taking "I don't know," for an answer. He must have seen it in my eyes that I did indeed know who it was.

I stood up and faced him down. "Not my secret to tell. You aren't getting it out of me, no matter what."

"You're making it obvious." Maybe I was.

"Shut-shut up."

Jiriya's hand came down, twisted the fabric of my collar, and he pulled me up to my feet, nearly but not all the way off of them. I just turned my head to retaliate. There was no way I was telling him what happened. Not about Itachi, not about the clan's truth, and most definitely not about Sasuke. "Tell me the whole story, or -"

"Or what?" I growled, turning to look at him. "Even if you did do something, I'd just lie."

His eyes seemed to grow and understanding, boring into mine. He let go of my collar, and my barely suspended heels fell back to the hardwood floor. "Forget Akatsuki, then. Tell me the part about the Uchiha kid." Then I nearly choked and had to reach up for my throat.

"What part about Sasuke?" But my words were to shocked and horrified to sound convincing. Unfortunately, he'd caught me in my lie. But how could he possibly know a thing about that?

"Don't play dumb." He muttered. "Not only did Lady Tsunade have her slight suspicion, you could read it in your eyes like a book. This has something to do with him, this whole encounter." I just turned my head farther around, not having a clue how to answer. He could _see _it? Maybe that was the problem with our secrecy. "Now listen. I may not get a story out of you, but I've got my ideas. I'm going to assume that Itachi was here," I gulped, hearing the name. He was right, but I remained silent. "Which drew Sasuke like a magnet. Considering you haven't fallen to pieces yet, he's still alive and they're both gone."

"Something like that." I managed, half heartedly. Jiriya knew I wasn't going to talk. I could go safely not expecting anymore questions from him about that, I knew.

"Now, on to something more important." I looked back to him, clarifying again that it was over, and his eyes were much more intense. He meant business. "I've heard, at least by word of mouth, Akatsuki's dates and plans. They could just be ploys and could change by all means, but you hearing them nonetheless will be beneficial."

I had to do a double take. I'd been so concerned about the Uchiha brothers and Orochimaru's business for so long, I'd forgotten all about the Akatsuki's threat. I'd feared it sometimes, sure, but I hadn't taken it into consideration yet. In fact, freakishly early this morning, I was wondering dates myself. "Alright, shoot."

"They already have members assigned to the other existing Jinchuruki. If you didn't already know, there are nine of them. They're going for you last since each monster has to be extracted in ascending order, but that time is coming quickly. They've only got a few more, and the members on hold may come after you in the meantime. _Now, _being the meantime."

Now. _Now?_ Did Itachi know that? With our sudden truce, it seemed like if he did know, he would have said something. Maybe I shouldn't have been expecting that much from an enemy by association, but he told me so many other things, that that should have been a priority. Maybe it was decided while Itachi was away. Jiriya did mention that the Akatsuki had no plans of sending one person alone out to me…Itachi acted that out on his own. "Now, right now? This second?"

"It could be within the next few days or few months. That, I'm not for sure on. But you aren't ready for them, even with all of your training from Kakashi and Captain Yamato…" I cut him off.

"You know about him, too?"

"I checked in with the world before I came to you. I also heard from Kakashi, who was very recently released from the infirmary, you have a replacement for the team." I glared daggers at him. _Replacement_ was a forbidden word in my mental dictionary. Period. Despite his unknowing of the subject, I was in a small rage.

"He's not a replacement." I snarled, a little louder than I should have.

"Knew you'd say that." He smirked and shook his head, like he'd indeed heard the story already. "Back to the situation, _you aren't ready_. After the fill in, I heard that you've only been applying your shinobi knowledge and skill to one mission, back in Suna." He was half right, too.

I had to do another double take. What had I really been doing in terms of increasing power, with the exception of that mission? Nothing, it seemed like. There had been that one run in with Orochimaru, but I'd switched into Kyubbi mode and forgotten the entire experience, resulting in Orochimaru bring unharmed. In my two and a half year experience with Jiriya, I'd done more than advanced. I was at an entirely new level of power that I never would have been able to reach on my own. However, since learning it, I'd never been able to use it in action. Besides the point, compared to Sasuke's advancement, I would be like an insect against anyone in Akatsuki, if he could barely do anything to fight Itachi.

It was a sad thought, but too true. "So what are you planning?" I managed, after a long thought.

"You need to train more, but I've got to do some things." Jiriya didn't sound feisty or mordant like he usually did when he mentioned those, "Some things." Other things were usually the equivalent to spying on nude women, but just looking at him was enough to tell that was far from the case.

"How am I supposed to train well if you aren't around to help me get better?" I answered, hoping he'd catch the hint without having to ask, what are you going to do?

"Kakashi and Yamato will have to work you to death, overtime." He smirked and bobbed his head, then reached into one of his pockets. "Speaking of him, if you get the chance, give this to him. Don't be reading it." He passed me a brand new, paper-back orange novel with "R" labels all over it. The thought, _and why would I want to read it?_ Passed through my brain.

"Whoa, you wrote another one, that fast?" I remembered handing Kakashi the last installment, at his return of two and a half years. If there was one inanimate object in this world Kakashi loved most, it was that book series. Even ninja as composed, wise, and powerful as Kakashi had little things that made them just like fanboys. Kind of like Sakura's fear of spiders. Even ninjas had strange little faults.

"It's considerably shorter than the others, but that's the only copy. Just for him. It's special, too, read the cover." _Do I really WANT to read the cover? _I sighed and did as instructed, searching for anything out of the norm. The picture caught me before the words, as it was not the classical male and female illustrated in primary colors. It was two men.

Oh god, please tell me he didn't…"You…you…YAOI EDITION?" It was all I could make come out of my mouth. There was absolutely no way. This was just something else henged to look like a male erotica novel. He was screwing with me. No, no, no, no, _no, _this is _not_ possible.

"That's why I made sure to tell you not to be reading it before you pass it on!" He still had an amused, Sasuke-esque smirk on his face, arms crossed to go with it. My embarrassment was pleasing him. Must have expected this reaction.

"Jiriya, I'm nearly sixteen you know -" Then I slapped my hand over my mouth and blushed harder, his laughter increasing simultaneously. He'd got me! How could I even mention…there was no way I'd read the book, no matter what he told me! "Jiriya! You're nasty! Even for Kakashi, how could you possibly write something like this?!" I cried, appalled at the idea. Not only was Jiriya as straight as straight could be…

"Sure, it was hell of a degrading piece to write, but I figured I should make something special for my biggest fan, since - " That's where he stopped. He continued laughing, as if to cover it up, but then I remembered his strange behavior from earlier. Maybe the book was just a way to get my mind off of it.

"Since what?" I drawled.

"Since I might not write anymore, you know? I'm getting pretty old." Yeah. And your elderly age will also stop you from spying on young girls. Mm-hmm. Perfect sense. I decided to just demand the answer, bluntly. Something was certainly up.

"Where are you gonna be when I'm being trained?" His next response didn't match his face after I said the words. His eyes hardened and made him look too dutiful. Maybe a mixture of that, regret, and fearlessness. What could he possibly be thinking? Feeling? The emotions revealed didn't line up.

"You tell me your story about this morning, and I'll tell you my plans." Damn it. I couldn't tell him anything, so I'd have to keep making assumptions. A secret kept for a secret kept - fair as it was, it still pissed me off.

"No way."

"Then I guess I should go talk to Kakashi and Yamato about what I want done with you, hm?" He'd been standing the entire time, but now he turned his back to me and headed for the door. "I don't have any time to waste, so you coming?"

Was I coming? There was still that picture to deal with, and this book…and my thoughts and missing pieces of internal puzzles, as usual. There were still to many unknown things in my world. No, waiting it out and staying away from anyone - especially Kakashi and Ruru - for awhile was probably in my best interest. "No…they'll come get me if they need me. I've gotta get some more time to myself."

"Well, that's new. Since when do you _like_ to be alone?"

"Since the person I want to be with isn't here, being alone is sometimes better."

"Huh." His response sounded surprised, but I hadn't even had to consider my previous statement, it just came out. My whole life I'd hated being alone - he knew that. But even more than just saying it, I knew sometimes being on your own and wishing for someone was better than being with others and wishing for someone. Maybe being alone - literally, not mentally, wasn't such a bad thing.

When he was gone, I'd made a mad dash back for the stairs, picture frame - and the stupid orange book - in hand. I wondered if Itachi had just left me completely, and seeing no sign of him upstairs, he must have. Probably getting back to Akatsuki, hoping his absence wouldn't be taken seriously. But what did I know about the way the Akatsuki was run?

There were still a lot of things I didn't understand, but thanks to Itachi, although he hadn't said them directly, I'd discovered some things on my own, one being why Itachi did things to piss Sasuke off. He did all those things - showed him the massacre, taunted him, pretended to be me, and so on…because the angrier Sasuke got, the sooner he would try to murder Itachi - what the man wanted.

What I wouldn't let happen.

What of three years ago, when he came for _me?_ Somehow, with his devotion and love towards Konoha, I didn't think helping the Akatsuki destroy it with the power of my monster was high on his list of priorities. Maybe he was just playacting that with his partner, at the time, so as not to cause suspicion. So why had he been there, really? It was right after the Hokage died…

_You have my word._ I remembered the Third's words to him before he left the village. He had worried that now since he was out of the way, Danzou would kill Sasuke anyway. Maybe he came back so Danzou and the other elders would remember his threat. Not only that, he'd timed it perfectly in the act with his partner. What better time to come after the fox than when Konoha was falling to pieces without a Hokage, and right after Orochimaru's attack? Itachi - only by those examples - was probably the most intelligent and strategically cunning man I'd ever known or would come to know.

Next was the picture. At first I thought it was just blank, but he had said, "you can move the paper and look later," before Jiriya came to interrupt. Being as careful as possible, I popped the glass out from the front and removed the black sheet of paper. Three or four small pictures, that he must have just been storing in there, fell to Sasuke's bed - my current sitting spot - face down. Hoping to be surprised, I picked them up one at a time.

The first was a picture of a baby. I realized shortly after looking who it was, so Itachi must have just been giving it to me to keep safe, someone he could trust considering the picture. Or maybe as some kind of present, but I would go with safe keeping. Since the itsy, tiny, pale skinned, dark-eyed baby was undoubtedly, my Sasuke.

I'd never really taken a liking to children before, but this was much different. Maybe Itachi had been reading my mind - It was hard to imagine Sasuke was ever a baby, but here he was. A cute, pretty, (degrading for the bastard,) baby. I decided it was worth keeping, and I could see why Itachi had it with him. Though, maybe it was in the house all along. Maybe I could freak Sasuke out with it someday, taunt him about having his baby pictures.

I got the second picture, and wondered if what Itachi really was giving me were just presents. It was more baby pictures - Itachi, based on numbers I knew previously, was nearly seven and holding his newborn little brother. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at Itachi's not-so-serious face. He looked a little frightened and worried about Sasuke, maybe since he'd never seen a baby before. The third was just another, Sasuke a little older, pulling on Itachi's hair, the elder not going anywhere. I couldn't believe the pictures…it made me wish even more that things would have stayed that way between them.

I didn't realize it then, but I missed the fourth picture. I must have thought there were only three, so I moved on.

To the stupid, stupid orange book. Or so I liked to keep reassuring myself. Really, truthfully, I wanted to…look at it. Skim. Read a chunk out of the middle. Scan for anything interesting. I'd never had an interest in the books before, probably since I was under the impression they were for perverted old men like Kakashi and Jiriya, wanting to read about women in intimate relationships. Now, I suppose, it was a little different considering the topic.

With only a few exceptions, like Sai's insult on our first mission, I'd never really thought about, more like worried about - the fact Sasuke and I were both male since my fear of actually telling him. It just seemed irrelevant. Sasuke was Sasuke, I was me, and that was all there was to it. I hadn't thought at all about that oddity. So I opened the book to a random spot and began reading the page, not worrying about the plot or character development.

I read for awhile, turning pages. Nothing was mature, not yet. But something seemed oddly familiar about the sequence of events, and the events in themselves, with the exception of a few more adult-ish things - nothing too bad yet. That in itself, and a certain quote on a page, made me comprehend.

_Well master pervert or no, I've never had a relationship in the course of love with anyone. I'm on the outside looking in, and things like that don't bother me. I don't see why other people make such a big deal about it._

I screamed.

The characters represented us! They had different names and were a lot older, but there was no doubt in my mind. I flipped through at lightning speed and scanned short paragraphs. People, places, and things he'd heard me say all lined up. Even Sasuke and my - I shuttered - personalities lined up! He was rewriting our story! What if this went into mass production like the others? I would kill him!

I flipped a little further, and the story abruptly changed direction, breaking away into something "R" rated. I read for about two pages before I slammed it shut, flustered and unable to lower myself by reading it. "No more of that!" I managed, shaking my head.

Was that why he was giving it to Kakashi, and ordered me not to look at it? Maybe not because of maturity, just keeping the secret of the plot. Something Kakashi would want? I shook my head harder and got up, thinking it was time to find him, or Jiriya again, or Iruka, or Sai, and plan the future, just something to get my brain away from the book or give it to Kakashi. On my way out, I stepped on a piece of paper.

It wasn't paper - it was a picture I'd missed. I picked it up and turned it over, expecting another Uchiha baby picture.

The fourth picture, appropriate for the sequence in which I picked them up, was a picture of the fourth Hokage, and I was completely dumbfounded by the change of theme. Not only was it the fourth, shoulders up, but there was also a gorgeous woman beside him, with dark red hair that went down past the picture boundary, and big, bright blue eyes. Even in history lessons, I'd never heard about the fourth having a wife, or anything like that. Written in black ink and fancy Uchiha handwriting, was the phrase, "Look in a mirror."

I was stopped in my tracks completely, and I focused on nothing but that picture. Why would Itachi have left me this? There were pictures of the fourth in books all over, anyway. Besides that, why should I look in a _mirror_? I hadn't looked in a mirror since before Sasuke left, and that was for experimental purposes. Although, there must have been a reason. My mirror was in my old house, but Sasuke had a wall mirror in his bathroom, so I high-tailed it there.

The bathroom was just as nice as the rest of the house, although the shower was a pain in the ass to turn on. I stared in the mirror and focused on myself first. Blonde hair, blue eyes, toasty skin. Big deal. I looked down at the picture, but nothing clicked. Maybe this was obvious. Maybe Itachi was trying to drop a hint, telling me I should get a woman or something.

I turned the picture over, looking for another clue, and I found one. "Smile."

So I grinned, cracking my eyes open just slightly to see myself in the mirror, and I looked like a moron, corresponding to Sasuke's nickname for me. I stared back down a the picture, and realized both of them were grinning, too. Was Itachi making fun of me? Trying to tell me to be happier? Confusing. No doubt there was something he wanted me to figure out, though, and I was determined.

I studied the picture some more. The woman was short compared to the fourth, considerably below average and shorter than Sasuke's mother, based on the memory I'd seen. She was curvy and busty, though, and strikingly beautiful. Probably even prettier than the Uchiha mother, although not as refined. She look feistier and tomboyish. Her hair was red and her eyes were blue, just like the Fourth's. Which moved me on to him.

He was taller, though not towering, he looked about average. They were smaller than usual, together. His hair was spiky and blonde, and his eyes were the same sparkly blue. They were both grinning in the image, just like Itachi had instructed. They were both paler than I was, and they almost looked a little like brother and sister, but nowhere in history was it written that he had relatives.

Then my head lined the pieces up faster than I could clarify that the idea was sane.

"_You bear_ _such a striking resemblance to the fourth it's hilarious." _Isn't that what Jiriya had said about me? I never really did question how he knew so many things about me, or why he showed such an interest in training me. He said he'd trained the fourth, and…

I thought heredity for a moment. Blonde, although usually recessive, was dominant over red. I had blonde hair. They both had blue eyes. I had blue eyes. They both had paler skin, but the two genes put together may have created a slightly more dominant medium skin. More importantly…

The fourth's smile, with his eyes shut and his mouth open in a teeth-displaying grin, was almost the same as mine, though I'd had to look again in the mirror. Not only that, they were both fairly short, and I was the shortest male my age with the exception of Gaara.

Besides looks, I thought history. The story said that the Fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze, lost his life in sealing the nine-tailed fox into a _newborn_ _baby. _That was nearly sixteen years ago, though I'd know that _I_ was that baby. I'd been told before that my parents died right after I was born during the nine tailed fox attack, but I'd never been told how they died, or who they were. Not to mention, according to history, Minato was never married, so if that woman in the picture really was my mother…

The picture fell to the floor at the thought, mother.

My hands shook and clenched while my brain processed the information, comprehending and tying. It all worked together, and something - somewhere in some deep, dark hole in my mind - told me I'd thought this or known this before. The Hokage was my father… and that woman my mother…

Itachi - indirectly - had given me another secret. The secret behind my dead parents.

But what about her? The Hokage had died, but this woman…was she still alive?

I suddenly had many more things on my plate to deal with.

* * *

Juicyish, right?

EdspikeSeshygirl- I'm SO sorry I haven't upated "AYN?". I know it was supposed to be a present for you, but I've been having simillar problems with my muse. It won't behave and I'm drawing a blank. Maye you could PM me and assist? ^^

**I thought I'd throw it out there **-If anyone still reading this story ever has a juicy, decent, non-cliche idea or twist they'd like me to incorporate, I'd be happy to try, and I love to give my (few) readers what they want. You'd be credited, of course, and would be showered with love from me! Sometimes I'm desperate for ideas, so please contirbute if you've got 'em!


	28. The Truth?

Note: Oh. My. God. Don't take my word for it, but this thing might actually be picking up. Because I now know how it will end - at least this part.

Warnings: KakaIru-ish-ness. Ignore it if you don't like it, please.

* * *

Who was I supposed to go to _first_? Did I find Jiriya? Would he know most? Or Kakashi, or Tsunade? Go stalk out Itachi? Or perhaps forgetting the entire thing was best, then I could get back to Sai, and training. Or _Sasuke_. Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe it would be easy enough to go on and pretend there was no way my theory was true. What _did_ it matter, anyway? The Fourth was dead, and even if that other woman were alive and really my mother, she should have found me by now. Everyone knows me, thanks to The Fourth. I'd gone on just fine without my real parents, so why should I worry? I have Iruka, Kakashi, Jiriya, Tsunade, and Sasuke. That family was probably better than two parents I'd never known, one of which, (if they were indeed my real parents,) sealed a life ruining fox in my stomach. _Which_ does not seem okay for a father to do. But what did I know? Iruka was too much like a mom. I didn't know what fathers did - but how many kids had to go through this? Nine? Not normal. Why his own son? And why had no one _told_ me? If it was true, what was the point of keeping it a secret, from me of all people? Was it another one of those stupid things everyone got to know but me - just like the fox? Maybe it would have been solace to know my parents were actually good people, people who led and took care of the village. Why not? Maybe if I could have told people who my father was, at the very least, I wouldn't have been treated like crap my whole life. Not that it matters now. I didn't care, they were most likely dead and I had a _real _family.

So why was I still _having_ this head-rant!? Gaah! I didn't care. Didn't care. Didn't care. Did. Not. Care.

I picked up the picture, stomped back to Sasuke's room to assure myself, and dropped it on his dresser. Time to find Kakashi and give him the book, and ask for some information - not on my maybe, could be parents.

It was still early to middle afternoon, and unfortunately, no one was out training or on missions since this morning, no one had been let in or out. Now that Tsunade had seen me and believed the story about the fleeing Akatsuki, things were starting to run again. Missions for the day? Cancelled. This was bad because people I knew would be out. High chances they'd run into me. Then again, maybe it would be better if I did see them again. What with everything going on with the Uchiha, Orochimaru, and Sai, I hadn't been focusing on much else. I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to anyone but Gaara and family in Suna, Shikamaru, and of course the adults, since I'd been home. The other teams that graduated with me all had steady ninja careers, and had all moved on to the Chunin rank, some Jounin. It would be good to see them. I could only hope they'd figured out not to mention Sakura by now.

First stop, Kakashi. He didn't have any missions, so he was one of two places. Our old training spot looking at the K.I.A gravestone, or with Iruka. I decided to check the grounds first. He always went there once a day and hung out…Then I remembered I hadn't spoken a word to him after Sakura's…

What would I bring up? How would he react to it? It was an easier subject around Yamato and Sai…I didn't know them like I knew Kakashi. There was something different there, since I'd spent most of my young life around him. He'd been the leader in our Team Seven days, and had grown on all three of us. Maybe I should have thought that for myself, but he was really the only elder around for Sasuke, too. Sakura had to have felt likewise - the bond of Teacher and Student was hard to break in the ninja world. Death was often the only thing to break up the almost sibling like bond.

I saw him _sitting_. In front of the stone. I'd been right about where he was.

I'd never seen him look so vulnerable before. Kakashi…The big, tough, wise, sensei that everyone in and out of Konoha knew either by name or as the White Fang. Sitting on the ground at a grave. He lounged and rested his head on his hand, propped up by his elbow. I thought about approaching with a smile, a joke, or some sarcasm, hoping to cheer him up, but I wasn't any good at that anymore. Besides the point, I risked hurting him even more in the process - sometimes a joke was the last thing anyone needed.

"Naruto." His voice wasn't even solid. It sounded like he'd been letting out rage or other feelings only moments ago. That short of shaky, subdued voice.

"Yeah." He acknowledged my existence before I could hardly get close. He must have sensed me coming since before I crossed the bridge. "How come your down there?" It didn't seem like there was any point in talking about this morning. Maybe he'd guessed the same as Jiriya had. Besides, we both know what happened. We didn't need reasons.

"Look." His voice relaxed ever so slightly. I flopped down next to him, suddenly aware I was in Kakashi's most valued place on this earth. Sure, we'd all ripped the training grounds to pieces, but no one had never come near this spot besides him. I never thought about it, but I guess I'd been avoiding the gravestone. Or maybe it emitted some aura of serenity we couldn't compete with, and were spiritually forced away from. Didn't know.

As if he'd been working with a Kunai or sharp rock for hours, there was a messy, white, slightly indented message in the stone, somehow worked into a spot where there was no other names, near the bottom. . I shifted just a little at the sight. Killed In Action.

"You're all alone now, aren't you?" Kakashi muttered, shifting backwards just a little to relax more. The atmosphere was incredible. It felt like we were in a carefree world in which nothing mattered, and nothing you thought you had to talk about or say was actually necessary. Whatever came out of your mouth wasn't judged. It was just a relaxed, serene, almost "oh well," kind of place.

"What do you mean, _alone_?"

"Your teammates are gone, and I'm a worthless teacher."

I took a huge breath in and out. A gust of wind, just like from this morning blew through, and the breeze picked up again. "Sakura is _always_ with me, be she dead or alive." Maybe the wind was her, reassuring me. It had blown just in time to clarify my words. "Sasuke isn't dead, and he's with me too. You aren't a worthless teacher. I'm not all alone. I have Tsunade, Yamato, Sai, Iruka, and you,"-They would always be on my side - "But you're gonna blame things on yourself?"

"Yes."

"Hrngh." I bit my tongue and tried to pretend he hadn't answered.

"If I'd been there, I may have been able to help her, or stop the situation."

"You were in the hospital! You could barely move, let alone _protect_ anyone!" Nope. I couldn't just ignore him. How could he even return to that subject? I thought for sure that both of us had moved on.

"There are so many people I could have - at least tried - to save. Sakura, Sasuke, my old teammates Rin and Obito, my Sensei…You feel like such a failure when you lose all of the people important to you and you could have been doing something to help them."

"Been there." I managed back. I knew who his Sensei was, but I refrained from delving back in to that topic. "Been there, done that. But even though you've failed, you don't stop trying. Sasuke is still alive, and maybe someday he'll be here again. You'll have him, you have me, you'll have all of the new students that'll graduate from the academy and need a teacher, and most of all, you have Iruka. Don't stop, or they - we - won't forgive you."

He didn't respond for awhile. Then his response made it sound like he had ignored most of what I'd said. "You still think there's a chance Sasuke will come back? That you'll ever be able to get him back?" He sounded like I was ridiculous to think so.

"Of course I do. There's only one thing keeping him away." Right?

"How do you know there isn't something besides his brother? You think when Itachi's gone and done, he'll be able to just come back?" Kakashi closed his eyes. We hadn't switched positions at all, just remained sitting on the ground, facing the gravestone. I had been aimlessly reading names to myself, but now I'd straightened up to watch him.

"What are you talking about, 'be able to?' That's the only reason he left."

"If that's what you think."

"It is what I think." I growled. "Do you know something I don't?"

"A great many things."

I was through with his sarcasm. He had to be screwing with me - that was unlike Kakashi, but I knew it for a fact. The only thing keeping Sasuke from being here was Itachi. "Here." I reached into the pouch at my backside and pulled out the stupid, orange, paper-back novel. "It's from Jiriya."

But even the book didn't excite him. He opened his eyes and took it from me, sure, but it wasn't as strong a reaction as I expected. He chuckled some when he flipped it over and saw the cover. "He's not publishing this, is he?"

"Nope, that's the only copy. He said he may not write anymore, so that's a sort of ending present for his biggest fan. Scary stuff, in there." Beyond scary.

"Hmmm."

"Why isn't he going to write anymore?" Maybe he knew.

He straightened up too, and looked at me instead of the rock. "He's probably afraid he won't be _around_ to write them."

Maybe awhile ago, I would have had to clarify what _around _really meant. Jiriya had avoided telling me. There was no doubt in my mind - he was going on a mission or off to do something that he knew would probably kill him. Or end badly, at the very least.

Not kill him. End badly.

What could that be? My only idea was something involving the Akatsuki, since that seemed to be his specialty. Maybe he'd already told Kakashi what he planned to do, whatever it was. He could have just came to me afterwards with the book as if he'd forgotten…My train of thought ended. Or to trick me into reading it, contrary to what he said! Grr…Why would he say, "don't read it?" He could have just given me the stupid thing and told me to pass it on…

Kakashi kept talking, like he'd expected the prompt I hadn't asked for yet. "He's not going to spy and collect information anymore. He's taking action - the episode from this morning worries him, too." I grimaced inside. I knew he'd being bringing it up eventually, but the easygoing atmosphere was gone, and liked that a lot better. What was I supposed to say if _he_ bombarded me for information?

"What's he doing, exactly?"

"He's going to take out as many members as he can get his hands on - but his main target is their leader." Kakashi made a face, you could tell even though you were only seeing one eye. I thought for just a few seconds…Leader, well sure, every organization that was worth anything had a leader directing them - they'd fall apart without one. But if he went to the leader first, there were still the dangers of the…well, however many were left. Itachi, his partner…Uhn, Kisame. I think. Then who else was there? Sakura killed Sasori, I'd heard about the mission in which Hidan and Kakuzu were killed…So I knew Itachi, Kisame, and Leader for sure. No doubt there were others…

"Wait a second…you mean he's already gone?"

"Just after he left Sasuke's place - gave me some info first." I think Kakashi would have smiled at me if the mood hadn't gotten so tense. So he knew now…Who didn't, anymore? Everyone important to me figured it out thanks to the word of someone else, anyway. I was so bent on lingering on the past that I stayed in his house and cleaned it on a weekly basis…Sue me.

"He didn't say goodbye, nothing!? Grr…" I slowly crawled to my feet, sick of sitting. Surprisingly, I was only a little worried, and just a little angry. I had a feeling Jiriya was tough enough, strong enough, and good enough to come back victorious, alive at the very least. He was a sage...if anything, he'd come back unsuccessful or with wounds or both. He had to be beyond Sasuke, anyway.

Kakashi just got up. "Starting tomorrow, when Yamato and I, or both, don't have missions, we're going to be training you more. If Akatsuki is getting ready to come after you, you'll need to be able to protect yourself. At the very least, stand a chance of survival."

"That's honestly all you've got left to talk about?" I asked, shifting on my feet. That's all Jiriya had to say, too. Obviously, they were powerful, but there weren't that many of them. You couldn't count them out or degrade them based on a disadvantage in numbers - not in the shinobi world, at least - but it wasn't like they were an _army_.

"That's all _you_ should be worrying about, right now." He ran his hand backwards through his mess of slivery hair. "You should go see Iruka. He's so worried about you, it's insane."

I cringed. Iruka was going to kill me. (Iruka was going to kill me a lot of the time. I'm glad I'm still alive.) Even if Kakashi and Jiriya hadn't prodded too hard for an explanation, Iruka would. He'd torture me into it - I could only imagine. Maybe they knew they wouldn't be able to get out of me without making a problem of it, but Iruka didn't. Then again, maybe he'd take a lie. Kakashi had been on the frontlines and Jiriya had found out from Tsunade, but Iruka was just locked in his house. He could just be worried because he was Iruka…

"Did you _tell_ him anything!?" If Kakashi had seen him today already, no doubt Iruka had asked about what the reason for the "lock in and down" was.

Kakashi chuckled and walked past me. The wind was blowing steadily now, making the semi-sunny day that could have been warm end up cold. It probably wasn't going to quit. "No, I just told him you were alright, and he didn't believe me. Go see him."

I sighed, grumbling out, "Fine, I will." Kakashi continued to walk away, and I knew he was done talking to me. I thought about the people who were most likely my parents, again. I shouldn't have. I'd already made the conclusion - it didn't matter who they were, what they did, what good there could possibly be behind sealing a demon inside me, or if the woman was still alive. I didn't care, I didn't need them. But I asked my next question anyway. Must have just been my desire to know all those years before now. "Did you know my parents?"

He stopped moving, and was a little too slow to answer. Now we were back to back - I hadn't moved and he'd walked beyond me. "Why are you asking now?"

"Just answer." So maybe a child should have cared most about their parents when they were youngest. Why would I be asking that at nearly sixteen after I'd never shown any interest before? Probably because with the way I was raised, I knew I'd never get an answer from anyone, so I didn't ask for fear of something worse than just words.

"…Yes, I knew them. When I was your age."

"What were they like?" I couldn't believe how hesitant my voice was getting. I wasn't afraid to ask, no question, but it sure seemed that way.

He probably smiled behind me. "They were like you." He paused, and continued walking away, like he knew that was the only thing I'd ask. "Loud, happy to a fault, persevering, kind-hearted and stubborn. To only name a few." His voice trailed off as he left.

My eyes fell on all the spots that were precious on the grounds. Kakashi's gravestone in front of me, Sasuke's tree that was out of bloom to my left, and Sakura's bridge that went over the water to my right. I wondered if I'd ever be sitting under that tree, or on that railing, or beside this gravestone, again. Not just by myself, but with the people who were still _around_ to share the spaces with.

Maybe it wasn't so bad to wonder, either. Maybe it was only natural to wonder about your parents. Even if not natural, maybe it just mattered to me, and I was denying it out of hate. I wasn't smart then, I was young - and no one would explain to me why I was the way I was. Maybe my parents would have. And if my Mom was still alive, then…Someday, even if we didn't realize who the other was, maybe I would meet her.

Ten minutes later I was at the academy. The kids were out - probably still getting over the trauma this morning had caused. Iruka would be there, no doubt. He always was. I wondered why he still paid rent on his house. The only things he really did were bathe and sleep there, and it wouldn't be hard to go to a public bath and set up a bed in his classroom…

I didn't have to break in this time, the front door was unlocked. Since I'd just been here days before, I remembered exactly where his room was. No light - it wasn't necessary with the whole side wall being almost entirely window, and since we were in broad daylight. That's how they set up the classrooms…Long, table like desks in rows like a staircase on the back end of the wall, along with storage shelves and such, Iruka's desk and the huge, wall length chalkboard on the other end, with the wall towards me being empty and the one across being the window. It had to do with some philosophy the First Hokage had come up with…To be educated well, children needed sunlight and attention…Windows and small class sizes.

I slipped in through the door and decided to spare him the heart attack by not calling him out. He just noticed me instead, looking up from his endless stack of papers that would never, ever get any smaller. Iruka went Iruka on me. It was expected, and Kakashi had given me fair warning. "There you are!" He shoved the paper he'd been marking aside, and spun his chair around so he was facing me. "I was worried about you! Even more so when the guards outside my house came in to wake me up and tell me not to leave, and later I could hear them talking about the 'Kyubbi container' being missing…"

I shrugged, encouragingly and in a way that hopefully made it seem like it was no big deal, and rubbed the back of my head. "I was out at my old training grounds when they locked the place up, and I guess I'm just a topic of importance? Guess if there's danger that would make Tsunade do what she did, I need to be secure? Like I would know, they treat me like an object anyway…" And the best thing to do was lie to Iruka about it all, because what he didn't know couldn't give him medical issues.

"Stop lying about it!" He yelled it so suddenly I jumped a little. He'd practically stood up from the chair behind his desk. "I heard about the Akatsuki, too. Now tell me the truth, all of it!" He gripped the edges of the furniture and his rows of teeth were pressed tight together.

"Okay." But I wasn't going to. I was yet again going to practice the art of lying, even though he'd asked for the opposite. Something I was getting very good at. I tried to keep my eyes right on him, and didn't dare look around at the classroom. If my eyes darted, he'd know. "I was fine. See, one of them came alone, and I was out at my training grounds, and the guards didn't know." That was the truth, at the very least. "But they left, since they couldn't find me. They didn't hurt anyone, so they must not have been too concerned."

"Really." Iruka said this like he didn't believe me, with a hint of surprise. "They couldn't find you." He repeated this like it was obvious I wasn't telling the truth.

"If they did, they let me be." I shook my head and shrugged again, whilst inside I was panicking. He either had to believe the lie, or I would have to hurt him to keep the truth hidden. But my lie was a bit far fetched. A talented shinobi of S-criminal ranking couldn't find one person who was just outside. I had to hope.

"Nothing happened?"

"I was locked out all morning! I ended up sleeping on the ground, I was so tired." …And that really had happened, too, but I wasn't _quite_ on the ground. "It freaked me out, but that's all, really." By now I'd been so practiced and confident that I had him somewhat convinced, it felt like things really had been that simple, just for awhile. But not only were they more complex, I'd also heard Itachi's story. Which, with that thought, started to come back. I willed it from my head so I wouldn't start cringing. Speaking of, what had happened to him? What would he do now?

He sighed, and I knew I could have started jumping up and down in relief. He'd taken my word for it. "You'd succumb to your need for a few hours of missed sleep before you worried about your safety." He fell back to the chair with his elbow on the desktop, propping up his head with his hand.

I shook him off with laugh, thinking it was time to bring up something else. "How're you and Kakashi?"

"Umhn." He made a highly unintelligible noise and looked at his stack.

"That bad, really?"

"No, not _bad_." He kept his eyes on the stack, and did something odd, for him. He kept on going. Normally Iruka was very hush-hush about anything involving Kakashi or their relationship. "I'm worried about him. Since what happened with Sakura," he paused, and I only lowered my head just slightly. Better. "Even since Sasuke. This morning didn't help any. He thinks he's worthless, but you and I both know that's not true."

"I know. I talked to him. He told me to come to you." This certainly was problem, but Kakashi didn't base all of his decisions on his gut feeling. Other than his mentality and attitude, I didn't think there was much to worry about.

"So you came because he told you to." Iruka shook his head, but it did sound like he was trying to be light and teasing. It just wasn't working well, since the topic was indeed Kakashi's sanity.

"Well…Things have been weird on my end, too. Jiriya left for who-knows-what, without saying anything about going to me."

"Right." Iruka had left a bit of space between my statement and his response. Maybe he knew what was going on, too, thanks to Kakashi. I probably didn't want to know, so I didn't ask. It was probably bad karma anyway, and I realized what might have been keeping me away from begging for information. If I'd asked about it too much, Kakashi would have wanted to know what had happened earlier. Secrecy for secrecy.

"About Kakashi…I don't know what else I can do. You're probably the best bet. He thinks I'm just a kid anyway, and wouldn't listen to me. Sometimes I think he's deaf to adv-"

"Kakashi doesn't think of you as a kid." Iruka turned and looked at me, ignoring the rest of my statement. He sounded defiant and confident. "He believes you have matured the most out of all of the students, in each team, and he thinks the same for Sasuke and Sakura. Thought." This seemed to be bit of a fix, since Sakura was in the past tense, but we still talked about her and how we felt like it was "now."

I could see the direction this was going. Me, mature. Even I could admit to _myself_ I wasn't mature. While everyone that wasn't in our team was growing in rank, excelling in talent, becoming adults and having lives, I was "wasting" my life away, trying to keep _Uchiha_ alive. Not to mention, I was proud to say I was, and didn't want anything else. Which made me even less mature. "In what possible sense could I have matured more than any of the people from my class?"

Iruka chuckled. "I didn't say in every way, sheesh." His chuckled sounded so dry and his eyes were so heavy, I felt like he was hiding something.

"What way, then?" I couldn't help but cross my arms involuntarily and glare at him.

"Not just one way. You'll laugh, besides."

"Oh, so it's something stupid? Great."

"Well, actually, I think it's important to you." Iruka continued to try and sound light, but I could tell he was hiding something else. "The first being, you don't give up and you don't get hostile. Something Sakura and Sasuke fail to do. No matter what happens or what you've been through, thanks to the village, you keep dreaming and you aren't faltered." He'd said it so openly, my stature relaxed and I had to stare at him.

"Not laughing yet." What else was I supposed to say? I guess that made me…kind of. I didn't know what to think. I was more shocked that Iruka had worded it - no one had ever brought up anything about that. Sure, him, Sasuke, and a few others had felt bad for me, but no one had ever stated that despite everything, I was still protecting the village. Usually, that was a thought I had, and only I had.

"I'm not done." Iruka swallowed some air and then let it out. "I think it's the highest display of maturity." His mind seemed to go somewhere else, eyes moving elsewhere for awhile, before he finally looked back at me. "You love people - unconditionally."

"People," I repeated, looking at him. That was a major placeholder. But I knew why he'd sad that instead of bluntly opening up a touchy subject - because the subject was touchy. "…Is not a word."

"The fact that you didn't find this funny makes it even more so." Iruka sat back, and as if he'd finished the conversation, picked up is red pen and glanced at the stack. "You love Sasuke, unconditionally. No matter what he does."

"I was sure you were included in the people who thought that was a bad thing." Iruka, to be perfectly honest, I knew really didn't like Sasuke, not for me and not in general. Ever since he left, at least - before, he probably thought I was just infatuated with him, since we were both pretty young. But now we both knew otherwise. This was something that would never go away, not with time, and not with distance. Not even with Sasuke's mistakes.

"Doesn't really matter what I think, does it?" Our conversation had gone from angry to light to tense all too quickly. What I thought had been some teasing had turned into this. I didn't like it. I hated it. I didn't like to make Iruka upset, but for once, I didn't try to make nice. I kept going.

"So that really doesn't make me mature, just the opposite."

"I didn't say we were talking about me - Kakashi thinks so."

"But you're saying, _you_ don't think so."

"Doesn't matter what I think." He repeated.

"It matters to _me_ what you think, so hurt feelings aside, do _you_ think it's a bad thing? Do you think I should give up the person I love most? Do you think just because of the stupid mistakes he's made - all because of something traumatizing, I should drop him? For my own safety? Do you think it makes me immature to care so selflessly about a person?" I couldn't believe the way things were going. I never thought I would have to resort to talking like this, laying it on too thick - not on purpose, either. All of these things were true, and saying 'yes' was so unlike Iruka - he'd never throw away Kakashi, not for the world.

Iruka's answer turned me upside down. "Yes." It was blunt, unhesitant, and yet, somehow forced up. It was undoubtedly the truth, but he hadn't wanted to say it. I felt my previously tense and serious expression crumble, something I couldn't control. He didn't even follow his response with a usual, "I'm sorry, but," he just kept on talking. "I think it's time you gave up."

I opened my mouth, but no sound came up. My air locked up in my chest and didn't come up for a while, causing an incredibly sore lump to form that wasn't ready to rise into my throat.

"It's dangerous. He's dangerous. You'll end up killing yourself over something entirely unworthy." The words he was saying now so openly were things he'd never say, not normally. Yet they flowed out effortlessly. "You don't know if he even cares anymore."

Then I had an internal melt down. I did know. _I did know_, and I wanted to scream it to him but refrained, because no one was supposed to know that I'd met him again. Unworthy? Dangerous? Give up? My tongue was already being ripped up by my frantically gritting teeth, since I was trying hard to keep from screaming. I still knew my face looked shattered, but inside, I was on fire. It was because I really couldn't get mad at Iruka. It didn't even matter if he was right - if the entire world was right. No one was me but me, and no one was Sasuke but Sasuke, so no one would ever understand. Childish, but I didn't care. I did the opposite of care - I welcomed it.

"You -"

"Sh-shut up." I gasped, the lump rising slightly as I spoke, but he ignored me, pausing only for a moment.

" - asked me for the truth. I told you what I really thought." His voice took a more, soft, Iruka-like tone. "I know he's important to you, and I know how much you would do to get him back and set this all right, but if your life is on the line and it doesn't have to be, you should no what I think."

"That…Then what about being a shinobi? I don't have to do that, but I'm still risking my life." Now I was forced to argue with him. I willed the knot in my throat to stay put. I knew I wouldn't change his mind, but I had to keep defending myself - it came naturally.

"It isn't the same." He was right. "You know that. It's not just the factor of your life. Your happiness, your sanity."

"It is!" Not even quite sure what I was saying yet, everything was coming out in screams, now, my anger dissolving the lump. "My life, my sanity, my happiness…That would all disappear if I gave up! He is all that! The only person who knows that is…"

"You." Iruka said gently.

My mouth kept moving for a few seconds, but only silence came out, again.

"I know I can't stop you, but you wanted -"

"You're right." I straightened up and turned my eyes to the floor, interrupting him. "Doesn't change a thing. Sorry." As quickly as it had started, it ended, but I knew I couldn't stand there without snapping. So now that I'd checked on him, shown him I was indeed alright, I walked away, heading for his door at a quick pace. He didn't say anything behind me.

When the door was slammed, Iruka let a breath he'd been holding out, and held his arm over his eyes, crumbling just as Naruto had. His body slouched in his wooden chair and he breathed audibly, a few more times, his head finally resting in his arms against the desk. A few moments later, someone slid him slightly forward on the chair and pulled him into his lap. The visitor undid Iruka's ponytail and combed his fingers through his long hair. Like he'd been there the whole time.

"I should have lied, Kakashi."

"No."

"I hurt him."

"You told him the truth. But you didn't say it all, you know, that may have helped." Kakashi pushed the strands just slightly out of his way and pressed his lips to the back of Iruka's next. His arms curled around the other in front of him.

Iruka leaned his head forward a little in response. "I guess I should have. You know I wish it was normal - that the kid never had to be put through anything, and Naruto wouldn't have to be in any danger - if they'd just lived normal lives and Sasuke hadn't become so…I can't argue with Naruto's choice of person, but with all of this…" He trailed off, unsure of what solace there would have been behind his mean words, so Kakashi interrupted him.

"I have to disagree with you." Kakashi muttered, Iruka looking slightly puzzled before he responded. As he spoke, Kakashi dragged the zipper of Iruka's vest downwards. "Would the boys have ended up close if their solitude hadn't been a factor?" He paused and shoved the vest away, Iruka to intent on listening to complain. "Their personalities clash. If they hadn't gone through so much, they never would have realized how perfect they were for one another - differences would have kept them apart."

"I don't know." Iruka's voice had quieted to a soft sound that wasn't quite a whisper. He didn't want to think about it anymore - not now that Naruto was upset. Maybe Kakashi was right. "I take your sudden mood as a sign that you heard me tell Naruto I worried about you."

"Absolutely nothing to do with." Kakashi sounded amused, though, and Iruka knew better, by now. The Jounin slipped his hands underneath Iruka's shirt, pushing the hem up as he went.

"We're in a classroom, you -" Iruka started, halfway calm and halfway jumpy. He reached for Kakashi's arms, but was stopped when the other pressed his mouth right against his ear to whisper the rest of his words.

"He never got suspicious and asked you?"

He paused for a moment and considered Kakashi's words. Maybe, above all else, the reason he didn't want Naruto to bring Sasuke back was because the instant he stepped through the gates, Naruto would lose him again. "No. But I wouldn't have been able to -" Iruka's voice dropped to the same tone.

"No one would have." With that, Kakashi pulled Iruka's entire shirt off and over his head, thinking the best thing for both of them would be anything - especially this - to take their minds off of what was happening.

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